Spreading Sparkles Of Justice

, , , , , | Right | May 19, 2020

I’m walking up to a coffee shop. A group of rowdy but harmless-looking teenagers are sitting outside.

Male Teenager: *To me* “Hey! I’m Sparkles!”

I reply in my best “grownup-talking-to-a-small-child” voice.

Me: “Well… Yay for being Sparkles, sweetie!”

Male Teenager: “I love her! I love this woman!”

I walk inside, still smiling, and I’m about to suggest the employees provide no more caffeine to the teens outside when I see the employees are clearly distressed and trying to calm a man in the store shouting and berating the barista.

Customer: “I wanted this iced! You are useless!”

Suddenly, he looks at me, trying to drag me into the ordeal.

Customer: “I’ll bet even she knows what I want when I say I want a ‘breve’ latte!”

Again, I call forth my best “grownup-talking-to-a-small-child” voice.

Me: “Yes, I do. It means that you want a latte made with hot half-and-half instead of milk… unless, of course, you ordered it iced.”

The man now realizes the error was his and waits quietly while the barista — now fighting back laughter instead of tears — prepares him the breve latte he ordered. He leaves.

Barista: “Thank you so much! Your drink is on me tonight!”

As I walk outside, the male teenager again shouts:

Male Teenager: “I’m still not over this woman! I love her!

I walked to my car sipping my free drink, feeling loved!

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The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, And Giving, And Giving…

, , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

It is about eight at night and our store closes in an hour. A customer comes up to my register and hands me one of our standard gift cards as a form of payment, and another strange-looking gift card that bears our company name, but is not a design that we have ever sold.

Me: “Okay, so your total comes to [total]. I’ll just take your gift cards here.”

Customer: “Okay.”

I scan in the first gift card, which is an electronic, paper gift card that is typically issued through email to customers directly from our store. This gift card goes through without any problems.

I pick up the strange-looking gift card and proceed to slide it through the card-reader slot on my keyboard. It won’t read the card.

Customer: “It went through the washer.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

I keep trying to take the gift card by sliding it. When this doesn’t work, I try to scan the barcode on the back of the card, but my scanner won’t even read it. We are unable to manually type in the numbers of any gift card into our system. When we try, it tells us that we can’t do it. However, I attempt it anyway in an effort to make the customer happy. It doesn’t work.

Me: “Okay, so this gift card’s not working, so I’m just gonna call a manager over and see if they can help me with this or force the machine to take it.”

The customer doesn’t respond, but I proceed to call for a manager. I have to do this several times, as we have gotten suddenly busy in the store. As I am waiting for a manager to come and help me, the customer starts to get a bit angry and speaks up.

Customer: “Can’t you just call the number on the back of the card?”

I am looking around frantically for the manager.

Me: “I can definitely try it.”

I pick up the phone that is in front of my register and proceed to dial the number shown on the back of the gift card. When the call goes through, I am launched into a five-minute-long recording about winning a trip to the Bahamas. The bad part is that I cannot press “0” to speak to someone, as pressing any key on the phone will cause me to accept the trip to the Bahamas. Therefore, I have to wait until it gives me the opportunity to speak with an agent.

Customer: “Are you on hold?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m on hold.”

As I am waiting for the recording about the Bahamas to finish, a manager FINALLY comes over and asks what the problem is. I explain the situation to him, and he seems a bit confused.

Manager: *To the customer* “Where did you get this gift card?”

The customer is acting as if it should be obvious.

Customer: “I got it from [Strange Website].”

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “I just want her to call someone and take care of this issue.”

Manager: “That’s who she’s on the phone with right now.”

Customer: “I want her to call someone and get this taken care of.”

Manager: “They’re probably closed for the night. I doubt that you’ll get through at this time of night.”

I remain on the phone anyway, as I don’t want to make the customer even more angry than he already is. The customer is silent, and the manager tries running the gift card in every way possible, and it won’t register. He finally gives up.

Manager: “Yeah, she’s just gonna have to have them issue you a new one, because this one’s not working.”

Customer: “Okay, well, can you at least check the balance on this gift card?”

The manager tries to use the gift card balance inquiry function on the register but is still unable to scan the gift card to retrieve the amount.

Manager: “It won’t let me scan the card.”

Customer: “But can you at least check the balance on the card?”

Manager: “No, it’s not working. But she can check that for you while she’s on the phone.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Meanwhile, I am STILL on the phone listening to the advertisement about winning a trip to the Bahamas. The phone finally tells me to press “1” to speak to an agent, which I do.

Customer: “Can’t you call someone and have them fix this?”

Me: “Yes, I’m on the phone with them right now.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just call someone about this?”

Me: “Yes, I’m trying to do that right now.”

The customer doesn’t want to wait any longer for the phone call to go through, so he finally gets mad.

Customer: “Okay, you know what? Take this [more expensive item] off, and I’ll just get this!”

He points to the cheaper item.

Me: “Okay. Since I already took your first gift card, I’ll have to call the manager back over here so I can void out the transaction and start again.”

The customer says nothing.

Me: “[Manager], can you come back up to my register, please?”

The manager comes back up.

Me: “I just need you to void this out for me since I already took one of his gift cards and he doesn’t want the other item.”

The manager seems confused, but he voids out the transaction anyway.

Manager: “You’re good to go.”

Me: “Thanks.”

I start re-ringing the transaction.

Me: “Okay, so, I’ll put this back, and just ring this up.”

That’s what I do.

Me: “Your total comes to [total].”

I take the customer’s paper gift card, which is now enough to cover the transaction. He still has some money left over on the gift card, so I hand it back to him.

Me: “Okay, so, it looks like you still have [amount] left on this card.”

Customer: “Okay.”

The register prints out his receipt, which I grab and place in the bag. As I hand him the bag:

Me: “Have a good night.”

The customer left without saying anything.

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 12
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 11
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 10

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This Guy Is One Weird Noodle

, , , , | Romantic | May 16, 2020

I am a female in my early twenties, on my own, doing some grocery shopping on a cold January morning. As I am waiting for checkout, I see a middle-aged man a few checkouts down from me, carrying a colorful bundle of foam pool noodles.

I’ll admit I am pretty blatantly staring because, A, what does he need pool noodles in January for? And B, [Retail Chain] sells pool noodles in January? 

I watch him walk away, and then I pay for my groceries and go to return my cart.

To my shock, Pool Noodle Man walks right up to me from the exit doors. I had thought him long gone. 

Pool Noodle Man: “Are you Italian? You look Italian.”

I look down at my pasty-white skin and back up with my pale blue eyes.

Me: “Noooooo.”

Pool Noodle Man: “Oh, but you looked Italian. Are you married?”

Me: *Shook* “I don’t believe that’s any of your business.”

He then turned and high-tailed it out of there, fast. It wasn’t until later that I realized he probably took my staring as a sign of interest. Maybe he didn’t think there was anything odd about pool noodles in January?

I still don’t know why he thought “Are you Italian?” was a complimentary or appropriate pick-up line to use on a woman twenty-odd years younger than him.

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Picked The Wrong Piggy To Back

, , , , , | Working | May 13, 2020

I work for a rather big cafeteria inside a large hospital. This happens shortly after I start and am still trying to find my way around. I have an issue that needs a supervisor’s attention, but I cannot find one. A coworker tells me that they’ve seen the supervisor near the back storage area, a huge, unorganized maze of an area that I am not familiar with. I see someone who vaguely looks like her going through a door, so I run after to catch up, grabbing the lady by the arm… except it’s not my manager.

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m looking for [Supervisor]. Has she come back here?”

Lady: “[Supervisor]? [Supervisor]? No such person exists here. Who are you? Where did you come from? What are you doing here? Do you know where you are? What have you seen? Who sent you? What have you done? Do you know what we do with lost sheep back here? BAA BAA BAA.” 

As she’s saying this, she grabs my shoulders and starts practically screaming in my face, walking me backwards towards the door we came through. I try to stammer out an answer while struggling to get away from her when she reaches behind me and opens the door. She leads me out the door and around the corner to a room where my supervisor is talking with another coworker.

Lady: “Ah, [Supervisor], seems like you’ve lost another sheep; keep better watch over your flock, shepherd. BAA BAA BAA.”

I was shaking and in tears as I told my supervisor what happened and angry when she burst out laughing.

Turns out, the door I went through was to a very restricted area that I definitely was not allowed to be in. Running up behind someone as they use their clearance to enter a door is a rather serious offense called “piggybacking” and I could have gotten into trouble if I had been caught by the wrong person. The lady I ran into meant no harm and knew I was there by mistake and just wanted to scare me so I didn’t try to do it again.

She apologized later and, as it turns out, she’s actually a nice person. Just really, really weird.

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What Kind Of House Do They Live In?

, , , | Right | May 13, 2020

In the phone options, our department extension is one, so we end up acting like operators.

Me: “Kitchen and bath department, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. Do you have ladders? Like the pull-down ones that come out of the ceiling?”

Me: “We sure do; they’re in the building materials department, though. I’ll send your call over to them. They know a lot more than I do about them.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought they’d be in the bath department because that’s where my ladder is!”

Me: “In the bathroom?”

Customer: “Yeah, in the bathroom ceiling. They’re bathroom ladders, aren’t they?”

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