Confusion Has Hit The Sunroof

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2021

Customer: “I’m here for my 2:00 pm appointment for an oil change.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. When you’re finished, your total will be $28.16.”

Customer: “Can I add a note?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: “Can you ask them not to put the windows down? They won’t go back up. I left the sunroof open for access.”

Me: “I apologize, but access to what?”

Customer: “Just don’t put my windows down.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I’m not understanding the sunroof?”

Customer: *Grinning like I’m an idiot* “Thank you!”

Me: *Genuinely confused* “Ma’am, I understand not to put the windows down, but I don’t understand why we would need access through the sunroof. Is there an issue with the doors?”

Customer: *Same grin* “Thank you!” *Pauses* “Thank you!” *Pauses* “Thank you!”

Me: “All right, then.”

I then walk into the bay, because surely the tech knows something I don’t.

Tech: “She means that if we lock the keys in the car, we can get in through the sunroof, which ain’t happening, ‘cause I’m not climbing in through a sunroof.”

Me: “Why didn’t she just say that instead of acting like a dumba** about it?!”

Tech: *Shrugs*

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He Has A Real Problem

, , , | Right | February 25, 2021

I’m working at a booth in an indoor farmer’s market when a customer comes to the table and stares at me. There’s a few moments of silence.

Me: “Um, can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I speak to someone real?”

Baffled, I redirected him to the owner, who apparently sufficed.

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When The Hangry Strikes

, , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I work at a local family-run food chain. It’s a slow shift due to a snowstorm that is hitting the area. My manager walks over to me while holding a phone on mute.

Manager: “Hey, could you take this order? They would like to place a delivery.”

Me: “Of course!” *Takes the phone* “Hi there! Can I get your phone number for the delivery?”

This customer seems calm and normal while I am getting his information for the delivery.

Me: “All righty, what can I get started for you tonight?”

Customer: *Silence*

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: *Suddenly snappy* “What?!”

Me: *Slightly taken aback* “How can I help you tonight?”

Customer: *Begins to yell* “How many d*** people am I gonna have to talk to before I can get my f****** food?!”

Me: “Sir, this is the same person you were speaking to as before.”

Customer: “What do you want from me?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Would you like to continue placing your order?”

He goes back to his original relatively normal demeanor.

Customer: “Oh, yeah! Can I get [order]?”

The rest of the transaction goes relatively smoothly until the very end after getting his payment information.

Me: “You’re all set! Give us about forty-five minutes and that should be out to you!”

Customer: *Yelling again* “That’s what they say every time!”

Me: “I am very sorry, sir, but I am not in charge of delivery times. Please contact us if you have an issue with your delivery.”

He hung up. I went to tell my manager what happened and she apologized profusely, explaining that he had originally called complaining about his delivery not arriving when it turned out he hadn’t even placed an order with us yet!

She told me he was normal when she was talking to him and that if she had known he would have acted so rudely she would’ve handled the call instead. What a weird dude.

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Another Case Of Wifitis, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I have to go out of town for a week and decided to travel by bus. I spend a few extra dollars to get a seat with a table on the lower level so that I can get some work done on the ride. An older woman sits down across from me, and for the first thirty minutes or so, we have some pleasant conversation. She asks me if I’ve ever had any trouble with this bus company before, to which I say no. She also shares some dried fruit snacks with me while we talk, which I happily accept. After the conversation comes to a natural stop, I pull out my laptop to write some emails using the bus’s onboard Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi, however, appears to not be working.

Me: *Out loud* “Huh, that’s odd. The Wi-Fi on this bus doesn’t seem to be working.”

Woman:What?! That’s ridiculous. It’s supposed to work! What’s even the point…”

I look at her kind of blankly, surprised by the outburst. It should be noted that she doesn’t appear to have any need for Wi-Fi since all she has with her is her phone — which she hasn’t touched once — her purse, and a book that she’s been reading.

Me: “Well, it’s not a huge issue. I have other stuff I can work on that doesn’t require Wi—”

Woman: *Cutting me off* “This is outrageous. I’m going to talk to the driver.”

She gets up and walks past the line on the ground where you’re not supposed to walk and starts talking to the driver. I don’t hear much except her frustrated tone of voice. She returns, sits back down across from me, and proceeds to call customer service for [Bus Company].

Woman: “I’m on the [time] bus from [Location #1] to [Location #2], and the Wi-Fi isn’t working and the driver won’t do anything about it. This is outrageous! I paid [price] for this ticket and I expect all of the amenities to be functional.” *Slowly and quietly into the receiver* “You. Are. A. Terrible. Company.”

She hangs up, looking frustrated. I’ve been working on my laptop during this exchange, feeling rather uncomfortable, and trying to ignore her. She then returns to her book and pulls out the dried fruit again.

Woman: “Do you want a piece?”

Me: “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

Why this woman decided to make a big stink about a service she wasn’t even using, I will never know.

Another Case Of Wifitis

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Not Homeless But Humorless

, , | Right | February 24, 2021

Our restaurant isn’t fancy per se, but the food is high-quality and on the expensive side. I am serving a man in a nice suit. He is probably about sixty years old.

Me: “Hello, how is everything today?”

Customer: “It’s all right. How much does this job pay?”

I’m kind of confused by the question but I answer honestly.

Customer: “Because I’m homeless.”

He gestures to the food on the table that he clearly got from the restaurant that he’s eating at.

Customer: “Yeah, I got this food from the trash, and I was looking for a job.”

I stare at his clearly expensive suit.

Me: “Uh-huh.” 

Customer: “Aww, I’m just kiddin’ ya. You young folks are so gullible these days, you’ll believe anything I say.”

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