Quitters’ Anonymous

, , , , , | Working | June 23, 2017

(I work at a trucking company on night shift and I dispatch our drivers, answering phone calls and messages. One night I got a call from the wife of one of our drivers.)

Me: “[Company], this is [My Name].”

Woman: “Hi, my husband drives for you and wants to quit and is wondering where to return his truck.”

Me: “Is he under a load right now?”

Woman: “Yes, I think he’s somewhere in Louisiana right now.”

(Wondering why he isn’t calling us, I try to get some information so I can look him up in our system, and also wondering if I’ll need to get someone else to take care of his load if he quits while hauling a loaded trailer.)

Me: “Do you know his driver ID number or truck number?”

Woman: “No, he doesn’t want you to know that.”

Me: “Can you ask him to call us so we can help him?”

Woman: “No, he doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Me: “Okay, can I have his name?”

Woman: “No, he doesn’t want you to know who he is.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, without knowing who he is, there’s not much I can do.”

Woman: *seeming to realize that he can’t quit his job anonymously* “I’ll ask him for more information.” *hangs up*

(Later, he did call us and we were able to help him, but how did he expect his wife to quit his job for him without telling us who was quitting?)

Used By The Fashion Police

, , , , , , | Right | June 22, 2017

Customer: “Do you have body bags?”

Me: “Umm… what?”

(The customer describes something like a poncho.)

Me: “A poncho?”

Customer: “NO! A BODYBAG.”

(The customer then flagged down someone of another ethnicity to help her, saying they would know what she meant. I still have no idea.)

You’ve Become The Figure Of THAT Customer

, , | Right | June 22, 2017

(I’m a young girl browsing the toy section of a retail store. I’m looking for a particular set of popular figurines. After 15 minutes, I still can’t seem to find them, so I approach one of the workers.)

Me: “Hi, where are the [Figurines]?”

Employee: “Um…” *snickering* “Right behind you!”

(I turn around and find half the store is dedicated to these figures, and they’re literally on every shelf. There’s also a massive light up sign with the figurine logo.)

Me: “Um… um… thanks!”

(I still wonder today how on earth I could have possibly missed them… I’m a regular to that store, and that exact employee always gestures to the figures with a smirk!)

The Bizarre Sight Is A Gift In Of Itself

, , , | Right | June 22, 2017

Customer: “Can you wrap this pomegranate?”

Me: “You mean in plastic?”

Customer: “No, in gift wrap”

Me: “Um… okay.” *boss comes in to see me gift wrapping a pomegranate*

Keep A Watchful Eye On That One

, , , , , | Right | June 22, 2017

Customer: “Hi, I was in here earlier and I left my watch here. I called corporate, and they said I could just come back and get a new one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I was in sometime between 5 and 5:30 today when I left my watch.”

(This is taking place at 1:30 pm.)

Me: “We… wouldn’t have been open.”

Customer: “I have to track everywhere I go for my work. I can show you.”

(Customer begins pulling something up on her phone.)

Me: “This store opens at 8:00 am.”

Customer: “Okay, it was at 3:30 pm that I was in.”

Me: “…Today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “It’s 1:30; it hasn’t been 3:30 yet.”

Customer: “Is there a manager I could talk to about this?”

(While I call for the manager, she continues to talk.)

Customer: “Look, I know that you try your hardest, but I think it would be better if I talked this over with a manager.”

(After I hang up the phone, she gestures to the back of the store.)

Customer: “I’ll just take care of it meanwhile. Are they back there?”

Me: “No, that’s our pharmacy. The manager will be up here soon—”

Customer: “No, I mean your watches.”

Me: “We… don’t sell watches.”

Customer: “I can show you that I got it here. I have the bag in my car.”

(The customer walks out of the store just as my manager reaches the front.)

Manager: “Did you still need me?”

Me: “I’m really not sure…”

(If she ever returned, it wasn’t before the end of my shift a half hour later, so I can only guess at what she was talking about!)

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