Repeating The Same Old Baggage

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(Most major retailers in our city have just recently signed an agreement to reduce the number of plastic bags. All stores that signed the agreement have since started charging for plastic bags or switched to paper bags, which also come at a small fee.)

Customer: “Just this.”

Me: “That will be €9.99. Do you need to buy a bag?”

Customer: “How will I get this home?”

Me: “I can offer you a small plastic bag for 10 Cents, a large plastic bag for 20 Cents. or a canvas bag for 1 Euro.”

Customer: “How will I get this home?”

Me: “A small plastic bag should be sufficient. It’s just a small book; it will fit.”

Customer: “How will I get this home?”

Me: “If you don’t like plastic bags, I can also sell you a canvas bag for 1 Euro. Or we sell those pretty foldable fabric shoppers. They run €4.95, though.”

Customer: “But how will I get this home?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I bet you also charge for gift wrapping.”

Me: “No. That’s actually a complementary service we offer.”

Customer: “Then gift-wrap this.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. €9.99.”

(The customer pays. I wrap her book and hand it to her.)

Customer: “How will I get this home?”

Me: “I could still sell you a plastic bag or a reusable canvas bag if you don’t like plastic.”

(The customer huffs loudly, picks up her book and walks off.)

Coworker: *looks at me and says* “Well, you could have offered to walk her to her car and carry it for her, couldn’t you?”

Passenger Alert

, , , , , | Friendly | November 16, 2017

(I am heading home on a packed train that requires you to pay your fare by inserting a ticket into a turnstile before getting on. [Passenger #1] gets on, stays near the door, and begins obviously looking around for something, but nobody knows what. This is not a big deal, though; the doors close, and the train gets moving.)

Passenger #1: “Does anybody have $40? Does anybody have $40? I need $40! Does anybody have $40? I need to get home! I can’t afford the bus! It’s only a short trip!”

([Passenger #2] quietly shakes their head and rolls their eyes, refusing to make eye contact with her.)

Passenger #1: “Come on, guys! Somebody has money! You, in the suit! I know you have $40! I need $40 to get home on the bus, or I will be sleeping on the streets tonight!”

Passenger #3: “Ma’am, I don’t have cash on hand, and besides, the bus fare is about $7 at most for one trip.”

Passenger #1: “No! You are lying to me! I need $40 to pay for the bus! You, with the nice jacket! I am broke! I have no money on me and I need to go home! I only need one trip!”

([Passenger #4] puts her head down and laser-focuses on her phone.)

Passenger #1: “Nobody cares, huh!? Everybody’s so wrapped up in themselves that they cannot spare an old lady some change so she can go home to her family! Fine, I need $20! $20 is the bare minimum I need to get home! Oh, come on! Nobody?! Nobody is generous! Nobody is listening! Nobody cares at all!”

(At this point, the train stops and [Passenger #1] immediately stops her rant and tries to look inconspicuous as the doors open to let new passengers on. Not many can get on or off though, and the train is quickly moving along on its schedule.)

Passenger #1: “God, do I even exist to you people!? If I were drunk, dirty, and homeless, all of you would have given me $40! You would give all the money in the world to hopeless bums that contribute nothing to society, but not for an old lady like me with a home, job, family, and future! How do you live with yourself? Do you want me to sleep on the streets with those drunks tonight? Fine! $10! $10 from at least two of you people is all I need! Hello?! Nobody?! Not even $10?! You would give $10 to me if I were drunk, dirty, and homeless! And those bums wouldn’t even use that money to pay for the bus; they’re just looking to get drugs! I would use it for a bus fare because I have a home to go to!”

(The train stops at a popular stop, and one that I am getting off at, as well. Most of the passengers file out while others wait to get on, which [Passenger #1] takes note of and gets off of the train.)

Passenger #1: “Last chance! The people on this train are selfish and cruel!”

Passenger #5: “Ma’am, is everything all right? Do you need help?”

Passenger #1: “No! Nobody will give me $40 for the bus so I can go home!”

Passenger #5: *taken aback* “Um… Sorry, I can’t help you with that. Bus fare for a one-way trip is $7, if that helps.” *moves away from [Passenger #1]*

Passenger #1: *shoots [Passenger #5] a glare and storms off*

(It was the weirdest thing. I later witnessed her getting into a screaming match with a young adult passenger in the station’s hallway. The young adult passenger shouted that she was fed up with [Passenger #1] begging for money when nobody wanted to give it, and also that she was fed up with her being a terrible liar and having the gall to insult people who contribute more to society than she ever would. [Passenger #1] screamed over her to complain about how awful the new generation is because the young adult wouldn’t give her money. I decided to stay out of it, and when I informed a security guy nearby, he just rolled his eyes, said he was keeping an eye on it, but also said something along the lines of, “Just let her get what I’m surprised she didn’t get weeks ago, and don’t get involved,” in reference to [Passenger #1]. I hope that [Passenger #1] and the young adult’s screaming match didn’t escalate into a physical fight!)

Could Be A Haunting Number Of Reasons

, , | Right | November 16, 2017

(I work in technical support. A customer has called in about a motion detector that has gone off in his home.)

Me: “Was anyone in the home at time of the alarm?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay. Was there anything moving around? Sometimes balloons or other similar things can set off the device.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, did the heater activate at that time? Sometimes sudden changes in temperature can cause it to go off.”

Customer: “I see; it must have been my mother.”

Me: “Oh, so, there was someone in the house?”

Customer: “No. My mother is deceased.”

Me: “Oh.”

(Awkward pause.)

Me: “Ohhhhhh.”

(Awkward pause.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

This Conversation Is Revolving Nowhere

, , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I work as a cashier in a supermarket. We’re just about to close, and I am counting the money in the cash registers in order to close them. A customer approaches me.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I was just wondering: does your revolving door always go that way around?”

Me: *surprised* “I haven’t really noticed, to be honest, but I sup—”

Customer: “It’s the wrong way, you see.”

Me: “Excuse me, the wrong way?”

Customer: “Yes, it goes the wrong way around. Can’t you see?”

Me: “I’m not quite sure that I know what you mean by ‘the wrong way around?’”

Customer: “You see, the door goes the other way around in every other store.”

Me: “Well, I’m sure there’s a reas—”

Customer: “It is supposed to go the other way around so that you walk around the same way as in a roundabout.”

Me: “Uh… I guess you could say that it goes clockwise, too?”

Customer: “Yes, and that’s wrong.”

Me: “I’m sure there’s a good reason if it’s not like in every other store as you say.”

(I pause and think for a second.)

Me: “Ah, I know. See, if it goes this way around, people exiting won’t have to cross paths with people entering.”

Customer: “I’m sure it goes the other way around in your other store in [Town].”

Me: “Well, I wouldn’t know, but they probably also have their reas–“

(The man calls to his wife, who has been browsing flowers near the entrance.)

Customer: “[Wife], didn’t you notice that the door—”

Wife: “—goes the wrong way around. Yes, I noticed that, too!”

Me: “Uh… Is there anything I can do for you? Because if not, I really need to get back to counting.”

Wife: “No, it’s fine, my dear.”

(The couple proceeds to talk about this literally two meters away from me, rather loudly, as if they are trying to convince me or something. This makes it hard for me to keep the right count. After a couple of minutes, they just leave the store without looking at anything in particular or buying anything. My coworker, who overheard everything, comes to help me close the store.)

Coworker: “I wonder what he wanted you to do about it. Make it go the other way around, just like that?”

How Do I Put This Deli-cately

, , , , | Working | November 15, 2017

(I work customer service at a grocery store. One night, a girl who looks to be in her mid-20s comes up to the counter and asks for a job application. I hand it to her and have the following conversation.)

Girl: “Thanks. I really, really need to find a job. Can I borrow a pen and fill this out now? I really need to find a job right now, any job. I’m desperate.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you about all departments, but I do know that the deli is hiring right now.”

Girl: *drops the pen in horror* “The deli?! I can’t work in the deli! No way!”

(She turns and runs out of the store. Behind me, the deli supervisor breaks out laughing.)

Me: “Guess she didn’t really, really need a job that badly, after all.”

(Coincidentally, a job in another department opened up next day, but since she hadn’t bothered to fill out the application, she never knew.)

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