Pizza With A Sharp Flavor

, , , | Right | July 31, 2018

(I work in a restaurant that caters mostly to families, so we often get requests for extra napkins, high chairs, etc. I’ve been serving a family of six — three adults and two teenagers — and everything is going smoothly until I bring out their food.)

Mother: “Excuse me? Miss!”

Me: “Yes? Is everything okay with your meal?”

Mother: “Yes, I was wondering if you had any scissors?”

Me: “Scissors?”

Mother: “Yes. I need some”

(I go to the cash and grab an old pair of scissors; we typically use them to cut up old papers and open boxes. I bring them to her.)

Mother: “Thanks!”

(I turn around to check on another table, and when I go to take the scissors back, I see the mother cutting her teenage son’s pizza into bite-sized pieces with the scissors! I am mortified. At the end of the night, I go to pick up scissors that are now covered in sauce and sticky cheese.)

Mother: “Oh, well, I guess you can clean those off! Thanks again!”

Me: “Have a great night…”

(For the record, we provide steak knives for those who want to cut their pizza.)

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Giving You A Good Grilling

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2018

(I work in a fast food restaurant. A regular customer comes in and orders a couple of combo meals. I tell her it will take a few minutes because the meat is cooking. I’m taking another customer’s order, and all of a sudden, the regular customer interrupts us.)

Customer: “Other people are getting their orders! Where’s mine?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Our grill is backed up with orders, and the reason other people are getting their orders first is because it’s ice cream. It doesn’t take as long as hot food.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Fine.”

(A couple minutes roll by and I hear shouting.)

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait ten g**d*** minutes for my food!”

(Then she throws fries — yes, her own precious fries — at my coworker. My baffled coworker tries to pick up the fries, but the woman picks up the fries and throws them again! She then runs to me — while I am taking another order — and shouts.)

Customer: “I’m going to call corporate! I’m serious; I will call them!”

(She left with her food, a bunch of shocked people staring after her. She’s still a regular. And she acts like nothing ever happened.)

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Boxing You In With Complaints

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2018

I was working as a cashier on a rather slow day in late November. A woman came to my register with various clothing items and exclaimed that she was shopping for Christmas gifts as we had a sale going on at the store.

She was very nice and very polite the entire time. She asked me for a coat box, and I explained that they were too big to keep at the register but I offered to go get one for her at the customer service desk in the back of the store. She declined. I offered to have one brought up front so she didn’t have to walk all the way back, but she again declined, stating it was no problem at all for her to go get one.

After I finished ringing up and bagging her items, she went on her way to the customer service desk.

About twenty minutes later, the store manager came to my register and told me that the woman actually tried to get me fired for not having coat boxes at the register. She wouldn’t accept the “excuse” of them being too big to keep up front.

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Was Counting On The Luck Of The Irish

, , , | Right | July 29, 2018

(The store I work in is located in a shopping plaza that has parking meters on every street. A lot of customers come in just to ask for change to pay them, but unfortunately we are not allowed to open the registers for them unless they buy something.)

Customer: “Can I get some change for the meter? I’m Irish.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we’re not allowed to do that in the store.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m Irish!”

Me: “If you go to the next street over, there’s a help kiosk that does give out change. If you want change here, you’ll have to buy something.”

Customer: “Of course. Don’t you see I have money? I’m Irish!”

(The man then wandered around the store for about 20 minutes before buying something cheap right near the register. As I checked him out, he made sure I counted out the quarters, and made me tell him my name in case “they” ask. I’m still not sure who “they” are, if this guy was actually Irish, or why he felt the need to keep telling me so.)

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I Think You Need To Update Windows

, , , | Right | July 27, 2018

Customer: “I purchased chairs from you a while back and I need to return them.”

Me: “Please send us the complaint in written form, as we are not allowed to take them up verbally.”

Customer: “You don’t understand! This is an emergency! Your chairs are ruining my windows!”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Your windows? I’m not sure I’m following.”

Customer: “Yes! Ever since I purchased chairs from you, my windows have been fogging!”

Me: “Are you sure it’s because of our chairs?”

Customer: “Of course I am! It’s the only thing I’ve changed about my apartment! And now, whenever it’s cold outside, my windows just fog up.”

(I could barely get her off the phone and talk her into sending a written complaint. Even our general director got a good laugh out of it.)

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