Can’t Deal With This New Number

, , , , | Friendly | August 19, 2017

(I get a call on my cellphone from a number I don’t know. I recently contacted someone on Craigslist about a very nice dining table they were just giving away, so I answer.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “[Name similar to mine]?”

Me: “[My Name], yeah.”

Caller: “You wanna hang out?”

Me: “Sorry… who is this?”

Caller: “Is this [Name similar to mine]?”

Me: “No, my name is [My Name]. I’ve only had this number for a couple weeks though, so he was probably the guy who had it before me.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Sorry about that. Bye.” *click*

(I thought it was kind of funny that I’d inherited my number from someone whose name was only one letter different from mine… though I found it considerably less funny that I kept getting calls for him at least once a week for the next SIX MONTHS. Some of which would not believe me that I wasn’t him, and others that would immediately text me after hanging up asking him to call them. I eventually started to wonder if he’d been a dealer.)

His Presentation Is Going Under

, , , , | Learning | August 19, 2017

During my freshman year of college, another freshman on campus convinces everyone he is from Australia. He speaks with an accent and everything.

This goes on for almost about a month and a half. He is in Communications 101 that semester, and one of the first speeches you have to give in that class is an informative speech about yourself.

His, I was told later, started out like this: “Well, first of all, I’m not Australian…”

If There’s No Sale On, Make One!

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

(I work at a relatively small car dealership as a receptionist. This takes place at about 10 in the morning. There is only one salesman in due to medical reasons with another. The present salesman is out on the lot when a customer walks in.)

Me: “Hi there! Do you need a hand with anything?”

Customer: “I was looking at the [SUV #1] and [SUV #2] on the lot. They look very similar; what is the difference?”

Me: “I know that [SUV #1] is larger than [SUV #2] but not by much since the recent re-modeling on [SUV #2]. But let me find a salesperson for you and he’ll be able explain.”

(I page for a salesman to come to the showroom and continue talking to the customer while she waits. Meanwhile the customer has gotten into the [SUV #1] on display. As we are chatting two older gentlemen, who drive to pick up vehicles from other cities for us, walk up.)

Customer: “Hi, my name is [Customer]. Have you seen this beautiful SUV over here? It’s one of the nicest vehicles we have.”

(The customer continues to give a joking “sales pitch” to the gentlemen. I am relieved that she is not upset by the absence of a salesman. The gentlemen look confused at first, as they are in often and haven’t seen her, but soon catch on and laugh with her. Then the manager walks in, and the customer approaches him.)

Customer: “Hi, welcome to [Dealership]. I’m [Customer]. Have you seen the great sale we have on right now?”

Me: “[Manager], This is [Customer]. She is our newest sales person.”

(This manager is not directly in charge of hiring so this could be possible, but not likely as he is always consulted or informed.)

Manager: *very uncertain* “Noo… you’re not…”

(The two gentleman from earlier laugh and I introduce her as a customer. The manager speaks with her until the salesman arrives. The customer realizes who he is and greets him.)

Customer: “Hi there! I’m [Customer] from… Where am I?”

(I answer and she continues.)

Customer: “You will never see deals like this. Right now we have the [Sale Event] on. You can also get 0% financing on certain models…”

(She continued while I stood to the side, laughing. The salesman also started laughing as she continued for a while. I was impressed with her knowledge of our products!)

They Want An Irish Americacappamoccachino

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2017

Customer: “Do you do fancy coffee?”

Me: “Umm, you mean like cappuccino and flat white?”

Customer: “Yeah, but the one with chocolate in it?”

Me: “Hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No! The one with chocolate and coffee.”

Me: “Oh, you want a moccachino?”

Customer: “Yes, but with caramel as well. What do you call that?”

Me: “Ah, a moccachino with caramel?”

Customer: “Yes I want one of those. Wait, I might want two. Hang on.”

(She then walks to the other side of our seating area to talk to her friend. I’m not too worried by this as it’s quiet anyway.)

Customer: “No, only one of those.”

Me: “Okay, your total is $4.50.”

Customer: “Do you do those special coffees like they do in America?”

Me: “An Americano?”

Customer: “Is that the one with alcohol in it?”

Me: “Oh, no, I think you mean an Irish coffee or a liqueur coffee.”

Customer: “No, not Irish coffee, just the ones with alcohol in them?”

Me: “You mean with [Brand Irish Whiskey], or [Brand of Creamy Liqueur] in them?”

Customer: “Yeah, those ones!”

Me: “Yeah, they’re called Irish coffee or liqueur coffee. Do you want one of them as well?”

Customer: “Oh, no. Have you done my coffee and chocolate thing yet?”

The Best Stories Are Told At 3am

, , , , , , | Right | August 17, 2017

(I take a second job working the overnight shift at a 24-hour gas station and convenience store. It is my first time ever working third shift. Around three am, while preparing coffee and pastries for the morning rush, my mind starts to wander.)

Me: *thinking to myself* “I wonder what some of these customers stories are. Like, what’s going on in your life that you wander into a gas station at three am on a Tuesday morning? It would sure be interesting to get to know some of these people.”

(Then, just as I turn around and face the front of the store, a rusted out, windowless van pulls up to the gas pumps. What appears to be a little old lady climbs out and approaches the store. As this person gets closer, it becomes clear that this is no lady. This is a man, with full beard (in other words, not even trying to fool anyone) in a thrift store dress, sensible ladies shoes, white gloves, and your grandma’s purse draped over his arm.)

Me: “May I help you?”

Customer: *in the sweetest little old lady voice* “Just a coffee, regular, please.”

(He was very polite. I didn’t get the sense that this was some sort of prank or anything. Just seemed like that’s what he’s into. I’m not bigoted in any way and support all kinds of lifestyles, but remembering what I was thinking just before he walked in, I now thought “I REALLY want to know this dude’s story!”)

Page 146/168First...144145146147148...Last
« Previous
Next »