I work at a fast food place. There’s a severe thunderstorm watch, so even though several of us have recently gone off shift, we’re still sticking around because we don’t want to drive home in a storm.

It’s eerily quiet outside: no wind, no rain, hot, and extremely humid. We decide that it’s probably tornado weather.

Sure enough, the severe thunderstorm warning is upgraded to a tornado watch. Still, it’s absolutely silent. A couple more customers filter in and we start making food for them.

Then, the storm hits. It’s extremely sudden. Abruptly, it’s just raining sideways. Water is battering against the glass of the windows. A cherry red stop sign slaps against the windows and is held against them by the force of the wind.

An order comes up on the computer for [Delivery App].

Without much else to do, we make it. The power starts flickering, but our grill is gas, and the computer’s backup battery keeps it from shutting down. We make the burger.

The wind direction changes and the stop sign drops off of the window abruptly, landing on the pavement. Then, it pinwheels away to possibly alert someone else to the deteriorating conditions.

A car pulls up in front of the store. The wind is so strong that the car can’t pull directly forward; instead, it slides sideways as it pulls forward. The driver gets out. It’s the [Delivery App] guy and he wants to pick up the burger.

We beg him to stay. The tornado watch is still in effect for nearly thirty more minutes. He shakes his head and grabs the burger bag, and before we can say anything else, he vanishes into the storm.

The story doesn’t end there. Eventually, the wind dies down. It’s still raining like crazy. There’s a huge puddle around the joint, and it’s starting to leak inside under the walls.

One of the customers takes off his shoes. He takes off his socks… and puts them on the table. He takes the inserts out of his shoes… and puts them on the table. He takes the inner sole things out of the shoes… and puts them on the table. He puts his shoes back on. He then puts all of these things into his pocket and walks out to his car.

I get the strong stuff to clean his table with.

When I leave for the night, management is talking about shutting down for a few days for sanitation reasons because of the water coming in through the walls. Apparently, the insulation needs to be taken out and dried before it can mold. I am told not to come in tomorrow and that they’ll have a spot for me in the rotation of another nearby place in the same chain by Monday.

I submitted this story about my ridiculously lucky sister. Here’s another one.

My sister was going for an interview. It was for an internship in what’s essentially her dream company, so she was really really excited and determined to make the best impression she could. She was communicating with the boss via email and had arranged an interview slot on Friday afternoon.

As it was the summer holidays, [Sister] got up at noon with the idea that she’d do the interview at 1:00 pm.

At 12:45 pm, my sister got an email from the boss.

Boss: “Hey, sorry, I’m running late. Will be there at 1:15 pm. Feel free to help yourself to the snacks in the pantry while waiting.”

There was a long pause as my sister stared dumbstruck at the email.

Sister: “Wait, pantry? It was in person?”

Me: “Who even does that anymore? Everything’s on Zoom these days.”

Sister: “Um, okay. I know the office address. It’s [address]. Um…”

Me: “Get going, idiot!”

Sister: “Right! Right!”

She started running around, throwing on professional clothes, and packing her bag.

Me: “Our parents took both cars out.”

Sister: “I’m calling a [Rideshare]!”

Luckily for her, the [Rideshare] driver was right around the corner, so he arrived within a minute of being called. My sister then rushed off to the office. Luckily, it was only a fifteen-minute drive away, and luckily once more, traffic was nonexistent at the time.

At 1:10 pm, she sauntered in the front doors and pretended that she’d been there the whole time. The boss arrived barely five minutes later.

During the interview…

Boss: “What do you think is your most defining characteristic?”

Sister: “I’m lucky. Really lucky.”

Boss: “May I have a specific example?”

Sister: “I once bought four lottery tickets. Only four. And I won both the first and the third prizes in said lottery.”

Boss: “Seriously?”

Sister: “Yeah. My parents used the money to buy a new house.”

Boss: “Huh, that’s interesting.”

Sister: “And today, I was running late, so I was really happy when I got your email that you were also late.”

Boss: “Oh, wow. It really does look like the real deal.”

Sister: “Uh-huh. So, did I make the cut for an unpaid intern?”

Boss: “Unpaid? We don’t do that here. All of our interns receive a salary equivalent to the minimum wage. And yes, you’re hired.”

Sister: *Grins* “Lucky me.”

You see why I said she was a reality warper? I swear, the world seems to bend over backward for her. Like, my sister is so absurdly lucky that she literally uses it as a selling point for herself in job interviews. And it WORKS!

Related:
Luck Be A Lady (My Sister)

One morning, I had the following conversation via text messaging — word for word, with only the names changed.

Texter: “Hello, [My Name]. Let me know if you got my text. Thanks, [Coworker].”

Me: “And you are?”

Texter: “[Coworker]. CFO Emeritus [Current Employer].”

Me: “Wow, I didn’t realize that the dead could text.”

This person passed away shortly after he retired a couple of years ago.

Texter: “Oh, I see. Have you got a minute to complete a task for me discreetly?”

Texter: “Where are you at this moment?”

Me: “You are hilarious. [Coworker] is dead.”

Not that I would have believed them in the first place, but I just found it funny that they decided to use the name of a coworker who was deceased.

I work in a pharmacy in a large grocery store. I am speaking to one of my coworkers about how uncomfortable some of the men who come to the pharmacy counter make me feel. They often call me pretty, try to touch me, or ask me when I’m leaving. 

Coworker: “You know, you’re pretty small, but if you can’t physically beat a man, you can always out-crazy him.”

Later, I am taking the trash out. In order to do so, I have to go into the back of the store which is usually empty of people. As I’m putting the trash into the bins, a man approaches me.

Creepy Guy: “What’s a girl like you doing back here all by yourself? You know there’s no camera back here, right?”

Remembering my coworker’s advice, I put my hands up like a cat and hissed at him. 

He didn’t seem scared, but he did back up. He also now refuses service from me. 

“If you can’t physically beat a man, you can always out-crazy him” was and still is some of the best advice I have ever received.

Related:
Fighting Crazy With Crazy, Part 2
Fighting Crazy With Crazy

My spouse and I went to a big box store to pick up some prescriptions and buy groceries. We finished up shopping and went to the checkout. By this time, I was to the point where I needed to finish up and sit down someplace due to health issues, so I wasn’t paying close attention to the process.

I loaded the items onto the belt while my spouse grabbed the bags and put them into the shopping cart. I prepared to pay and looked at the screen, and it said $270. That seemed a little high to me for the number of items we got, but I went ahead and paid. The cashier seemed like she started to say something to me and then changed her mind, but I didn’t think anything of it. I just wanted to get done and go sit down.

We went out to the car and loaded up the groceries, and I got to sit down, and we headed home. I got a text notification from my credit card but didn’t look at it until we got home — about a twenty-minute drive.

When I finally checked the text message, it said that the total purchase was $424.96! What?! I got the receipt out and, sure enough, that was the total. I looked through the items we had purchased, and the very last one was a tire — for $270! I called the store to see if I could get the refund over the phone or online, but no, I had to drive back to the store.

So, twenty minutes back to the store and up to customer service. The only person there, [Employee #1], didn’t know about my phone call, so she started to look at the receipt. [Employee #2] came over.

Employee #2: “Oh, you’re the one who called about the tire!”

She started to process the refund and started having problems. At about this time, [Employee #3] showed up, so she took over trying to process a refund. She also got an error about the product not being in the system.

[Employee #3] called for a supervisor, who looked at the receipt.

Supervisor: “How did you get charged for a tire? We don’t sell tires at this location!”

Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t buy one!”

The supervisor finally decided that he could put the money on a gift card and then go to one of the cashiers and get cash to give me the refund. Then, he couldn’t get the swipe on the computer to put the funds on the gift card! He tried three different gift cards, and then [Employee #3] said maybe it would work on the other computer. She switched it over and got it to work.

[Supervisor] ran to get the cash, and I finally had my refund!

Apparently, the cashier who had checked us out was new. I had seen her manually entering the UPC from one of our items, and she must have entered it incorrectly, selling me a tire instead of a bottle of vitamins! The supervisor was surprised that the computer didn’t catch her mistake, and I told him about her starting to say something to me but then stopping.

The fun part is that some family members work for the big box store corporation. My spouse had texted them about being charged for a “tire” and one of them texted back saying, “That location doesn’t even sell tires!”