I went to a pub and ordered fish and chips, but they forgot the tartar sauce.

Me: *To my server* “Can I have some tartar sauce, please?”

Server: “Tartar sauce? I’ve never heard of that. Let me check with the kitchen.”

She went to do so and then came back.

Server: “None of the chefs know what this ‘tartar sauce’ is.”

Me: “Okay, can I get some relish and mayonnaise, then?”

I got mayo and some chopped cucumbers. I sent the fish back and ordered the chicken.

That was not the first time I had been in a place where they ran out of the main ingredient for a popular dish but the manager refuses to let them 86 it and keeps it on the menu, hoping most people will just suck it up and not complain.

There was another pub I went to where I was assured that they ALWAYS make chicken fajitas with breaded deep-fried chicken nuggets. Or the manager at a steakhouse chain who told me they’d run out of candied pecans. She just kind of opened and closed her mouth a few times before walking away with another apology when I asked her why the chopped candied pecan salad was still being served if they had no candied pecans and why, if they were still serving it, wasn’t I informed so I could have ordered something else instead of sending it back?

Our mall is having a special children’s event where they can play games and watch some shows (some children’s TV actors are on stage), and some extra people are providing entertainment, such as face painters and clowns.

I am working at the customer service desk. It’s my first day ever, and I’m a little nervous.

Manager: “You’ll be fine. You’ve studied the manual, so you can answer any question the customers have.”

My first customer approaches.

Customer: “Is that guy a real clown or just someone dressed as a clown?”

Me: “Uh…”

We called her “The Governess.”

It was the 1990s, and I worked in a restaurant. The Governess was a woman, perhaps in her sixties, with short hair set in curls that were close to her head. She dressed and spoke with a stiff sort of formality. She was strict, bordering on mean.

We didn’t hate her. I don’t think she ever got the cold shoulder. We were all extremely nice to her in hopes that she wouldn’t be too demanding with us. She tipped adequately. But she was draining to serve.

After a solid year or so, she came in, and I thought, “No… I just can’t deal with her.” I was waiting tables, pregnant, and exhausted. But this was my job, so I forced a smile onto my face and greeted her.

To my surprise, she smiled back. Throughout her whole meal, she was pleasant and warm. It was like a switch had been flipped, and she had become a completely different person. Another server whispered to me that she had been in a few days before and was just as cheerful then.

She became one of our most beloved customers. When one of our servers found out she was a dean for a small private school, he let it slip that we had nicknamed her “The Governess”. She loved it!

She came into the restaurant one day stating that she wanted to book a large party for an early dinner: her retirement party. One of our line cooks suggested that we get a custom sign made that said, “Governess Parking Only”. Several of us chipped in to have it made.

When the party came, her husband laughed hysterically at the parking sign and asked if he could take it with them. Every employee of the restaurant was there to wish her well. A few of our former servers even stopped in to give her a hug.

Shortly after that, she was gone from our lives… relocating to a warmer state. I never knew what caused her shift in personality, but I’m so glad we could get to know her as well as we did.

I am working at an indoor food market in a mall. We are selling a selection of fancy European cheeses. A woman walks up and starts to browse.

Customer: “Why are these all so expensive?”

Me: “They’re all imported from Europe, so it costs a bit extra to keep them fresh on the journey. The one you’re holding is a special type of Gouda from The Netherlands.”

Customer: “Netherlands? Sounds like a made-up place!”

Me: “Haha, I know, right? Sounds like something out of a book.”

Customer: “I still don’t see what’s so special about this cheese.”

Me: “Well, it’s a special type that’s been made by the same cheesemakers using the same method for over five hundred years.”

Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous! There weren’t even people five hundred years ago, let alone cheese!”

Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure people have been around for a bit longer than that.”

Customer: “America is only, like, two hundred years old.”

Me: “There were people before America.”

Customer: “Learn that in a public school, did ya? This is why I’m glad I was homeschooled and why I homeschool my kids!”

She puts the cheese down and wanders off. I look over at a stall owner next to me, who understands my shocked face.

Stall Owner: “Happens more often than you’d think, sadly. A lot of these older people who were homeschooled and didn’t have the Internet growing up have some… strange ideas. Thankfully, some of my kid’s friends who are homeschooled use the Internet to basically undo everything their parents are teaching them these days. That’s the one good thing I have to say about the Internet!”

To this day, that’s still the most “out there” moment I have had with a customer.

Late one evening, I was reading some interesting article online when I heard a rustling sound in a corner of my room. I couldn’t see anything moving, convinced myself I had imagined it or it was something outside, and continued reading.

The sound repeated.

I suspected some pieces of paper that I had placed on sloped surfaces could have shifted, but I got more and more nervous when I heard the sound several times more. There have been mice in our walls. Could one of them have gotten into my room?

I stepped over to the suspicious corner and stood there waiting for the sound, but nothing happened. Oh right, of course, a mouse would hide when someone approached it.

Confirming my theory, the sound only repeated after I had returned to my desk. Oh, no, oh no, there’s a mouse in my room! It’s going to eat all my books! What do I do?!

Long story short, that article I was reading was designed to look like a multi-page booklet, and “turning a page” made a rustling sound effect that was emitted by the speaker I have in that corner of the room.