The Bieber Falling On Hard Times

, , , , , | | Right | August 6, 2019

(I work for an online company and help those who sell on the website. This includes taking phone calls and answering emails. I get a gem of a phone call one morning.)

Customer: “My verification isn’t going through. I’ve called in about every day for the last two weeks.”

(Those who want to sell on the website have to go through an identity verification that includes a copy of their driver’s license. It’s not much different than an employer asking for it. Plus, in the shady market of online selling, it’s best to make extra certain.)

Me: “Okay. Let me pull up your case to take a look at any notes those associates may have. I can’t see the documentation as I don’t have permission to see it.”

Customer: “I’ve already attached it to the case. Also, they keep responding in French and the last response said I can’t sell on the website.”

(I find this a little odd, as this team isn’t the one to tell people they can’t sell here anymore, but I look into the case. The customer is being responded to in French and has received a notice saying he can’t sell. Usually, if the verification doesn’t go through, it has something to do with another document they sent us. For example, if we can click and highlight anything on a PDF, we immediately reject it as not being genuine. I find nothing wrong with that document. I pull up the driver’s license and have to do a double-take. The picture for the ID matches that of Justin Bieber. This guy sounds twice the age of Justin Bieber. I put the customer on hold to “look into things.” I get the help of a coworker and we end up finding a website teaching you how to fake a Quebec driver’s license. The picture is that of Justin Bieber. After I decide what to do, I get back on the phone.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t accept this as a valid form of ID.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

(He must really think I’m stupid.)

Me: “It’s a picture of Justin Bieber.”

Customer: *click*

Keep The Change, However Much It Is

, , , , , , | Right | July 22, 2018

(One afternoon a customer walks in and orders a $3 item. He pays with a $5 bill and the coins needed to get a flat amount back. Before I can give him his change, he pulls three $1s out of his pocket.)

Customer: “I just realized I had these extra dollars on me. Think I could give you these then you could give me a $5 back?”

Me: “Not a problem.” *completes the transaction* “You know, this kind of looks like you spent $3, only to be given $5 and a drink.”

Customer: “What? How? Explain this to me.”

Me: “Ignoring the coins, your order was $3. You gave me $5, for $2 change. Then you handed me $3 so I combined them—”

Customer: “And I got my $5 back.”

Me: “And you got your $5 back.”

Customer: *laughs* “Okay. Tell me that one more time.”

(We ended up repeating this conversation three more times, the customer laughing harder each repeat. In the end, he thought it was amusing enough to let me keep the change!)

Unfiltered Story #116494

, , | Unfiltered | July 17, 2018

(Back when I was 16 I worked at a major fast food restaurant. It was almost closing and a car comes up to the drive through. Before I can finish greeting them they started cursing at me to the point I could not make out the actual sentence between the curse words- if there was one. I put it on speaker for the kitchen and tried to get the manager on duty to listen, who caught the tail end of “f***ing PUNK!” and tires screeching. While I’m talking to her about what happened, I hear a voice behind me.)

Him: What the f*** is your problem?
Me: I don—
Him: I was f***ing talking to you g**d**** m*****f******!
Me: I still don’t–
Him: I thought people were f***ing rude where I was from, but you f***ing a****** take the g**d*** cake! What is you’re f***ing name!
(I look at my name badge, and I look at him. A short breath and…)
Me: [Name].
Him: How the f*** do you spell it?
(He’s looking like he’s ready to hit me at this point if I don’t spell my four letter, incredibly common and very well known Biblical name, so I spell it for him. There is some back and forth again, something about a fish sandwich and his sister, he leaves only after my manager gives him a free meal card. I ended up trapped in the restaurant until 2 AM waiting for this guy and the people he left in his car to give up waiting to jump me. I had to sneak out the back when they weren’t looking.)

Unfiltered Story #112819

, , | | Unfiltered | May 21, 2018

I used to work at a nice hotel during the night shift. It can get pretty
interesting at night, lots of rowdy people, drunks, etc. One night a guest
came to the desk and said they saw someone laying on the hallway floor. I
went up and one of the long term guests was passed out drunk, snoring away
in the middle of the hallway. I had to try a couple times to wake him up,
but finally did, and the guy was so drunk he couldn’t remember what room he
stayed in, even though he was sleeping right in front of his room. Another
night, I had to practically carry a different guest to her room because she
was so drunk.

Dew You Even Drink, Bro?

, , , , , | Right | May 7, 2018

(I am finishing up an order at the drive-thru.)

Me: “And what would you like to drink with that?”

Customer: “Mountain Dew.”

Me: “We have Coke products, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay… Pepsi?”

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