Bingo Is A Dying Game

, , | Working | April 22, 2018

(When you enter a bingo hall, you have to have your membership card swiped to “check in” for that day. For many reasons, we have messages pop up: birthdays, ID required, banned member, etc. I am working on the swipe system when some regular customers turn up and hand me their cards. I swipe one and I get an error message, which is accompanied by a strange sound.)

Me: “I’m sorry; there appears to be a problem…”

Customer: “Really? What’s wrong?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Well, it says here that your card has been declined as you’re, uh, dead?”

Customer: “Dead?”

(When a customer passes away, a manager has to update their card to set their status from Active to Deceased. Each member has a specific card number, but it’s easy to get a digit wrong. The customer was a great sport about it.)

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Time To Swallow Common Sense

| Related | December 28, 2015

(A coworker’s nephew is visiting the place. He is intrigued by a female coworker who is rather heavily pregnant.)

Coworker: “You see, there is a child in there.”

Nephew: *to the pregnant coworker* “Did you swallow him?”

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Worst Of Luck To You

| Right | September 23, 2012

(I’ve just rung up a customer’s order and am handing her bingo cards.)

Me: “Good luck!”

Customer: *slaps my hand with her bingo cards* “Oh, h*** no! I don’t believe in good luck!”

Me: “Okay, then… bad luck?”

Customer: “Now that’s more like it!”

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Dieters Are Of A Sweet Disposition

| Right | December 1, 2010

(A customer approaches the concessions counter.)

Customer: “Can I have a diet soda?”

Me: “Sorry, the fountain here is all out of diet soda.”

Customer: “That’s fine, I’ll just have a regular soda then.”

(I give her the regular soda that she asked for. I then watch as she goes to the condiment table and grabs about 5-6 packets of artificial sweetener, dumping it all into her drink.)

Me: “Um…? What are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m making it a diet soda.”

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When Your Number Is Up

| Right | May 19, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for the immunization clinic.”

Me: “Sir, this is a bingo hall.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken, the people at the hospital told me to come here.”

Me: “Sorry sir, this is a bingo hall. I don’t know why they would tell you to come here.”

Customer: “What are those people doing here then?” *points at the people playing bingo*

Me: “They’re playing bingo, sir.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me! You just want me to die!”

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