The company I work for rents out not only social houses, but also student rooms. These rooms are maintained just like the social houses and priced according to the law, though we ask less because even we think the government asks too much. So, a decent room for a decent price, though opinions may vary.

I have customer service desk duty for walk-in clients, alongside another coworker. Enter a young man, dressed very classy: an unwrinkled suit, flashy sunglasses, perfectly clean shoes, and perfect hair. With him is another young man, dressed equally sharp.

We just dealt with a rush of clients (one of them needing two hours before he finally left!), so the area was empty at that time. The young man starts leaning on the desk with one arm.

Man: “Good afternoon, ladies! It’s really quiet, isn’t it?”

Me: “Good afternoon, you just missed the rush, but that just means we have all the time for you.”

Man: “Oh, really, really? So, you two deal with aaaaaall the clients by yourself?”

Me: “No, sir, all our other coworkers deal with the other client questions. How may we assist you?”

The young man whips out a letter from his pocket, with some flair.

Man: “Well, I just returned from my six-week vacation to Thailand, and I found this letter in my letterbox. There must’ve been a mistake, this letter could not be intended for me!”

Instead of giving it to me, he hands it to my coworker, holding it with two fingers. She takes the letter and starts typing. 

The young man starts talking to his friend and they loudly mention how much their suits cost, their shoes cost, their sunglasses cost, how they visit a barber every Tuesday, and throw in a ‘I don’t know anyone as successful as me at age twenty’ and ‘When I graduate I will start a start-up because I have a money-making idea’ once in a while.

My coworker looks up.

Coworker: “Sir, I see this letter was not sent in error. You have not paid your rent for two months now. We did try to deduct it, per your contract, but both deductions failed. This was a final notice after sending you three more letters, and since you did not respond, it was sent to a collection agency. I’ve taken the liberty of writing down the number for you.”

After a short silence:

Man: “Oh, no, no, no, that is a mistake, I have automatic deduction set up!”

Coworker: “Yes, you do, but it failed twice. On both [date] and [date]. That’s why we’ve sent you these letters. I also see they mailed you twice and called you on [date].”

Man: *Laughing.* “Oh, but I was in Thailand (again, with emphasis) then, so I was not aware. So, I will pay it with my next rent.”

Coworker: “I understand you were away, but it is your responsibility to pay your rent if the automatic deduction fails. That’s why we sent letters, emailed you, and even called you.”

Man: “But I was in Thailand! How could I have known? So, I am not responsible for your mistake.”

Coworker: “Sir… the automatic deduction only fails if there is no money in your account. Are you telling me you never checked your account in those two months? And I see the first letter was sent five days after the first deduction failed. If you were six weeks away, you should’ve seen that letter.”

Man: “Well… eh… I am very busy with my studies, so I didn’t see any letters. So I can’t be responsible because I did not know.”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, you are responsible. Your debt has been handed over to the collection agency. There is nothing more that we can do for you. I advise you to call them.”

Man: “Oh, I will, I will! And they will just cancel the fee, because this is all a big misunderstanding on your part.”

He puts on a show of putting on his sunglasses and takes both the letter and the note. Both walk away and leave the building. The young man flips out his phone, his posture less confident. 

The two young men keep standing right next to the sliding doors, activating them over and over again, so yes, I can hear the famous last words:

Man: “Hey, eh… dad? I’m in trouble…”

Many years ago, I worked for an office running Medicaid for the state I’m in. Most of the submitted claims were scanned in and automated, which was fine, but sometimes this led to amusing situations like the following. I tried to summarize it to remove the unnecessary details.

Me: *Answering phone.* “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, we received an explanation of benefits and think there may have been a pretty hefty mistake made.”

Me: *Bracing myself for the inevitable yelling, as this never is a good start.* “Sure, what’s the claim number so I can look it up?”

They give it to me, and I pull up the file, not immediately seeing anything suspicious.

Caller: “If you look at this, we were paid for 100 units of this service, but it should have been 1.00; the decimal was left out.”

Me: “Ah, okay, let me make some notes and get this straightened out.”

Caller: “If this caller had 100 of these done on that day, I really feel sorry for him.”

Me: *Now curious.* “Oh? Let me see what it was…”

I proceed to pull up details of the claim and immediately have to fight back laughter.

Caller: “No patient, ever, wants to have more than one colonoscopy done in a single day.” *Quietly laughs.*

Me: *Trying to maintain my professionalism.* “All I can say is ouch… Anyways, I have noted the error, we’ll start the paperwork to get it corrected.”

I proceed to end the call as quickly as possible before I crack up laughing. Patient, whoever you were, I really hope you had a lot of ice packs and padding to sit on after that horrifying day of a hundred colonoscopies.

I work for an electricity provider. Contrary to what some people think, we don’t just flip the switch off if someone’s late once. It usually takes almost two years of non-payment, multiple warnings, and every possible assistance program before we finally have to disconnect service. By the time someone’s account reaches me, they’ve been given every extension, grace period, and charity fund we can offer.

Today, I get a call from a customer who is very much out of chances.

Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Power Company]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “You people better not cut off my power!”

Me: “Sir, I see you’ve had several extensions already, but the account has been past due for twenty-two months. Unfortunately, the disconnect is scheduled for next week unless payment arrangements are made today.”

Customer: “You can’t do that! My grandfather is on life support. If you shut off the power, you’ll kill him.”

Me: “Sir, I understand the seriousness, but we’ve been trying to work with you on this for almost two years. Even the hardship assistance program offered to cover most of your balance if you’d make small monthly payments, and you declined.”

Customer: “Listen, just answering this call is using electricity. So, by making me talk to you, you’re already killing him faster.”

Me: “…That’s not how electricity works, sir.”

Customer: “And now you know! So, if you call again, it’ll be premeditated murder!”

There’s a pause while I document that sentence word-for-word for my supervisor. At this point, there’s nothing else I can do.

Me: “Sir, all I can do is make a payment plan today. Would you like to set one up?”

Customer: “No! You’re all murderers!”

He hangs up.

We disconnect the account a week later. Something tells me the premeditated murder charge didn’t make it to the police report.

I work for a national company that partners up with various electric utilities all over the United States. We are not an electricity provider ourselves, and we help administer very specific programs for them. We do not have information or access to any other data for their customers.

For whatever reason, our customers find this difficult to accept or believe. We are constantly berated for not being able to answer billing questions, stop or start utility service, or fix downed power lines.

One lady is being especially difficult about it, and after nearly a half an hour on the phone with her, she still cannot accept the fact that I cannot see her bill and explain her itemized charges to her, and she has refused all attempts to transfer her to the utility (who CAN do this for her).

Caller: “I just need to know what this adjustment on my bill is for! I don’t know why you can’t just look at my bill and tell me!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I have said, we are not your utility provider. We only provide a specific function on their behalf. We cannot see your bill.”

Caller: “That makes no sense! You don’t have to keep repeating that you aren’t the utility company! You’ve said that already! That doesn’t explain why you can’t help me!”

Me: *Really fed up by this point.* “Ma’am, would you ask the guy who delivers Pepsi for Walmart to sell how much Walmart charges for underwear?”

Silence, and then the call disconnects.

I sent a client an email to follow up on a number of overdue invoices.

Me: “When you have a moment, can you please provide a payment date for the following invoices?”

Client: “I have checked all the invoices, and yes, they are all unpaid.”

Me: “…”

Client: “…”

Me: *Crying*