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A Signature Case Of Non-Payment

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2020

As with any large sales company, we have terms and conditions. For large sums of money, immediate payment is not required. In this instance, we give our customers thirty days after the end of the month to pay.

Caller: “I’m calling about your payment terms.”

Coworker: “Yes, they are set when you have your quotation.”

Caller: “We need more time than that.”

Coworker: “Sorry, but they are not negotiable; even our biggest customers have to conform. You were made aware of this on a number of occasions.”

Caller: “But I have a piece of paper from you that is signed.”

Coworker: “Yes, you will have, and just about that signature is the word ‘denied.’”

Caller: “Well, maybe we will to go to another supplier.”

Coworker: “You may certainly try, but we are the only supplier in the UK.”

Caller: “Okay, then I will go to your supplier.”

Coworker: “Again, you may try, but they will send you back to us; even if you did buy directly, their terms are far shorter than ours.”

Caller: “Well… well… I’ll call you back.”

Needless to say, they agreed to the terms.

Can Always Stretch To Curse You Out

, , , | Right | April 22, 2020

I work at a call center selling jewelry you see on the TV. We have a thing called StretchPay, which is basically self-explainable. However, if you don’t pay that StretchPay, or rack up multiples and don’t pay for any of them, we can close your account in our system. That basically lets employees know that you cannot order on that account, nor can you create a new account and order on that one, or order online with this account.

I get a call from an older lady who wants to order a pair of earrings, but when I pull up her account I see it’s closed, and that she hasn’t paid a StretchPay in at least a year or more.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but due to your account being closed for non-payment, I cannot place your order.”

Cue the b****ing at me, because how dare I let her get herself into more debt? It’s obviously all my fault for letting her order all this stuff. After a minute or so of her yelling at me, I get a word in edgewise.

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot place this order, nor will I be making a new account for you. I’m going to document this as such, and just so you know, these calls can be pulled and listened to.”

Caller: “You can shove those earrings up your a**!” *Click*

Unfortunately, I heard so many of the above situations that this was one of the tame ones. Fortunately, I don’t work with customers now.

Adulting Is A Math Problem No One Likes

, , , , , | Learning | April 18, 2020

I am thirty and I just decided to start going to college. For what I want to do, I need so many math classes. In my class, the oldest person is the teacher, who told us she was eighty, and then me. Everyone else is between seventeen and nineteen.

I’m sitting at my table with a few of these teens and they’re talking about how long they spend on a math problem. Then, they ask me:

Kid #1: “Hey, how long do you spend on a math problem?”

Me: “It depends on the problem. Some of them are only a few seconds, and others can be like 45 minutes.”

Kid #2: “Really?! You spend 45 minutes on a problem?! I just skip it!”

Me: “Do you pay rent?”

Kid #1 & #2: “No.”

Me: “Do you pay credit card bills, phone bills, medical bills, or your car insurance?”

Kid #1 & #2: “No.”

Me: “Are you paying for college on your own?”

Kid #1 & #2: “No.”

Me: “I am. I have no choice but to get good grades.”

America, Ladies And Gents!

, , , , , , , | Healthy | April 6, 2020

My dad needed to get his physical done and went to our family doctor. The doctor’s office was located in a sort of strip mall setup along with other private practitioners and specialists. This building was, in turn, located directly adjacent to the actual local hospital, even sharing the same parking lot.

As part of the physical, my dad was getting blood drawn but the nurse had difficulty getting their needle into his veins, meaning he had a needle probing in his body much longer than usual. Eventually, his body decided enough was enough and he seized.

Worried for his health, they quickly loaded my dad onto a gurney and wheeled him across the parking lot to the ER where he was quickly diagnosed as being fine. After he recovered, the blood draw was rescheduled and he headed home.

Fast forward a few weeks: a bill from the hospital arrived. Since he’d gone to the ER, my dad was expecting a high price, but this proved to be even more than expected by several hundred dollars.

Looking through the itemized bill, it was mostly the expected expenses: ER visit, fluids, etc. What stuck out was the several-hundred-dollar ambulance service my dad apparently got from being wheeled across the parking lot on a gurney.

He fought the bill, saying he might have paid if they’d at least put him in an ambulance and let him turn on the siren.

No Voice To Help With The Invoice

, , , , | Working | February 17, 2020

(I have some blood work done by being a walk-in at the lab. I pay, leave, and await results. What I get is a large invoice a month later. If I get blood work through my doctor, I prepay for that. I call the number to find out exactly what this was for. My doctor’s name is not listed in the spot for the physician. Something is fishy. I am omitting the twenty-five minutes spent on hold and five minutes re-explaining the above.)

CSR #1: “Let me look into that.”

(There is silence for several minutes until I realize I’ve been disconnected. I try again.)

CSR #2: “Your doctor would have ordered the tests.”

Me: “But there is nothing on the invoice but codes. What are they?”

CSR #2: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Are they listed online somewhere?”

CSR #2: “Huh? Oh, yes. Try that.”

(I try that and Google confirms my suspicions: they are not tests ordered by my doctor, but the ones I requested personally. I call again to confront.)

CSR #3: “We don’t have any record of you paying. We’re not the lab. We only handle billing. We’re located in Pennsylvania. You need to contact them directly.”

(I contact the lab directly.)

Lab Operator: “Well, sir, you’ll need to talk to our billing department about that. I can transfer you.”

Me: “If you’re going to transfer me back to the people who told me to call you, this won’t be helpful.”

Lab Operator: “Oh, but there’s nobody else I can transfer you to.”

(I’m transferred and I can tell from the recordings that I’m back at square one.)

Me: “I think we may have to escalate this.”

(I re-explain all.)

CSR #4: “Yes, I can see all the tests here and that you already paid. I’m not sure why you were sent that invoice. Disregard it. I’ll take care of this.”

Me: “Why did the others tell me to contact my doctor and the lab?”

CSR #4: “I have no idea. They should be able to see what I’m looking at.”

(Well, at least one of the four knew what he was doing.)