They Don’t Have High Fidelity

, , , , , , | Working | March 31, 2018

(I’m at a well-known furniture store where there’s also a restaurant. Today there’s a special menu that’s cheaper than usual, but you need to have the store’s fidelity card, and only certain dishes are available. It is my turn to get the main dishes.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like two special menus.”

Worker: *happily chitchats with a coworker, ignoring me completely*

Me: “Uh… Hi. I’d like two special menus.”

Worker: *looks at me silently, doing nothing*

Me: “Could I get one of each kind of meatballs?”

(Still without saying a word, she proceeds to prepare three plates with meatballs.)

Me: “Why did you prepare three?”

Worker: “You asked for one of each, and there’s three kinds.”

Me: “Well, yes, but there’s only two available for the special menu.”

Worker: “You wanted the special menu?”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

(She then takes the extra plate off and again stays perfectly still, looking at me in silence.)

Me: “Okay, for seconds, it’ll be one salad and one chicken.”

Worker: *keeps silently looking at me*

Me: “Um… I said I want one salad and one chicken.”

(She prepares the plates and starts taking somebody else’s order without saying another word. I go to the cashier to pay for the food.)

Me: “Hi, this will be all. But there’s a bit of a problem; I forgot my fidelity card at home. Instead, I got this code on a machine that I’m supposed to use for this kind of thing? I’m not sure how that works.”

Cashier: *rings up my food* “It’ll be 16,98€.”

Me: “Is that the special menu price? I have this code I got on the machine, because I forgot my fidel—”

(The cashier starts talking with a coworker, ignoring me completely. After she finishes talking, she looks at me in silence.)

Me: “As I was saying, I forgot my fidelity card and I don’t know if this code I got will work for th—”

Cashier: “It’ll be 16,98€.”

Me: “Okay, but is that the special menu price? Because, as I have said, I forgot my card an—”

Cashier: “Oh, it’s a special menu? Then the price is…” *checks a bit* “…16,98€.”

Me: “So, it was the correct price. Good. Now, how does the code thing work? Because I d—”

Cashier: “I don’t need the fidelity card.”

Me: “Uh… Okay, I guess.”

(In the end I got exactly what I wanted, but I felt like I was talking to badly-programmed robots the whole time.)

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Mom Has Gone A Bit Bird-Brained

, , , , | Related | August 31, 2017

(My mother and I rescue a little sparrow that fell from the nest. After much talking about it, she keeps insisting that we have to release it as soon as possible, even though I’d like to wait a bit to make sure he grows strong and healthy enough. After much insistence on her part, we go to a nearby park and release the little guy. The very next day, this conversation happens:)

Mother: “Don’t you feel bad about him?”

Me: “What?”

Mother: “The little birdie. I miss him. Why did we release him?”

Me: “You were the one who kept insisting on it, Mom.”

Mother: “Yes, but we really shouldn’t have. What if some cat finds him? I don’t want to think about that. We should take him back.”

Me: “Good luck with that.”

Mother: “You’re coming with me.”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Mother: “We’re going to the park and search for him.”

Me: “Mom, it was a sparrow. A normal sparrow. There’s hundreds of them at the park at any given time, and they probably fly all around the city. It’s impossible to find that one.”

Mother: “No, we’re going to get him back. You released him; it’s your responsibility!”

Me: “I only did it because you kept asking me to do it!”

Mother: “You are just being lazy. Stop whining and come with me.”

(In the end, we spent three hours roaming the park, while she kept asking anyone passing by if they had “seen a little bird”, much to their amusement. Obviously, the bird never came back.)

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Bath Bomb And On And On

, , , | Right | June 23, 2017

Customer: “Hi, I wanted to buy one of your premade gift boxes but I can’t spare more than 20€ on it.”

Me: “Sure, we’ve got this option over here with a piece of soap and a moisturizer.”

Customer: “I’d prefer if it had some bath bombs or bath bubbles.”

Me: “Not a problem. This other one has one of each.”

Customer: “But only one of each is not enough.”

Me: “Well, if you don’t mind spending a bit more, for 25€ you can get this one that has two bombs and two bubbles.”

Customer: “And is there nothing under 20€?”

Me: “Yes, the ones I already showed you.”

Customer: “And what do they have?”

Me: “The first one has a piece of soap and a moisturizer…”

Customer: “But I want bath bombs.”

Me: “…and the second one has a bath bomb and a bubble.”

Customer: “Only one of each?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And don’t you have anything with more than one bomb?”

Me: “Yes, as I already told you, there’s this option with two of each for 25€.”

Customer: “And is there no options under 20€?”

(At this point a supervisor notices I’m talking with a customer, which I shouldn’t be doing as I’m actually the stock controller. She takes over and I keep doing my job, but every time I pass near them, the conversation seems to be stuck in basically the same cycle. Around twenty minutes later, the customer comes to me again.)

Customer: *holding one of the boxes I already showed her* “What’s in this one?”

Me: “A bath bomb and a bubble.”

Customer: “And is there one that has more than one of each?”

Me: “…yeah, this one over here, but as we’ve seen earlier it costs 25€.”

Customer: “And is there nothing under 20€?”

Me: “Look, that’s all the options we have considering your needs. The only boxes under 20€ are the ones I already showed you.”

Customer: “Oh. And what’s in those?”

Me: “A bath bomb and a bubble.”

Customer: “Oh, right. Right.”

(After this she looks very confused and starts roaming inside the store, clearly unable to make a decision. Another half an hour later she’s still around, so I decide to check on her.)

Me: “How’s it going?”

Customer: “I don’t know… I’ll make a call to get another opinion on this.”

(Yet another half an hour passes when I see her in the till with the 20€ box and the 25€ one. She handles the second one to the cashier.)

Customer: “What’s in this one?”

Cashier: “Two bombs and two bubbles.”

Customer: “I guess I’ll take the other one then.”

(Later I was told by a coworker that she had been having the exact same conversation over and over with basically all of the staff.)

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