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Call Me “Sweetie” One More Time…

, , , | Right | January 12, 2023

I’m a woman, and I worked in an electronic store years ago. I once had a gentleman come in and ask about coaxial cable connections; he needed to put a new end in a cable he had.

I happened to be the first to greet him, and he immediately said:

Customer: “Listen, sweetie. I need to talk to one of the guys here; you can’t help me.”

He went over to my male coworker. Immediately after being asked how to put the connection on the cable, my coworker referred the customer to me, as I was the only one in the store at the time that knew how to actually do that.

The dude sputtered and went red. It was one of the greatest moments during my time there.

He Wasn’t Aware Of The Buddy System

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2023

I am a server during college at an upper-scale restaurant. I rarely have problems with customers and am overall genuinely friendly. I have a table for four with only three patrons there: an older couple with their adult daughter. I serve them beverages and am told we are waiting for their son.

About forty minutes and two refills go by.

Me: “I bet you guys are starving by now. Would you like me to bring you our lettuce wraps? They are small enough to not ruin your appetite. Or are we still waiting for my buddy?”

Father: “We are going to wait, and he isn’t your buddy. Frankly, you don’t know him; he’s a hardworking man and will be respected.”

Me: “You’re right, sir. Forgive me.”

Father: “He actually has a real job.”

Me: “I understand, sir. It won’t happen again.”

When I come back for refill number three, the son is arriving. The son is an old high-school friend. Before taking a seat, he gives me a hug right in front of his dad.

I look at the father.

Me: “Small world! Your son, my old buddy. We spent so much time together in high school that I thought you recognized me before.”

It’s too bad our restaurant didn’t serve crow.

Unnecessarily Gendering Things May Leave You Breathless

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: decoywolff | January 12, 2023

I work in a pharmacy. A woman drops off three prescriptions for her son. Among them are a nebulizer (inhaler) with Albuterol. Normally, we would dispense the “gender-appropriate” kids’ nebulizer, which is the green dragon for boys and pink cat for girls. We are all out of green dragons, and the normal-looking nebulizer is not covered under Medicaid, so I dispense the pink cat.

The mother comes and receives her son’s prescriptions. Then, she notices the pink nebulizer we are about to give her.

Mother: “Umm… is that pink?”

Cashier: “Yes.”

Mother: “Put it back. I’ll just take the medication.”

Like… okay? Just let your child go into coughing fits, I guess.

I am sure she probably already has one at home, but the fact that she denied it because it was pink is beyond mind-boggling to me. Yes, I’m sure this pink nebulizer is going to turn your son into a girl.

Best Not Zoom In On Those Opinions

, , , , , | Working | January 11, 2023

I have an office coworker who does the absolute bare minimum to get by, but they do get by. They finish all their assigned work, to a standard considered adequate by the company guidelines, and they are out of the office the moment the clock hits five. They are never late, never below standard, and never in trouble. I admire him!

The world goes bananas for a few years, and we are all working from home. Our entire team is expected to be present for morning meetings over Zoom. We are all in attendance, but our aforementioned coworker is the only one with their camera off.

Our boss is a bit of a micromanager, a total misogynist, and a transphobic bigot, and has had it out for [Coworker] since day one. Our [Coworker]’s talent for always being 100% within the rules is also a cause of infuriation for our boss – another thing I admire!

Boss: “[Coworker], are you there?”

Coworker: “Present and accounted for!”

Boss: “Could you turn on your camera?”

Coworker: “Why?”

Boss: “Well, everyone else has theirs on. It’s easier to communicate if we can see you.”

Coworker: “Yeah, thing is… I’m naked.”

Boss: “What?! But you’re at work!”

Coworker: “I’m also at home, so… nakey-nakey.”

Boss: “You can’t be naked while you work!”

Coworker: “Why not?”

Boss: “Because… because it’s obscene!”

Coworker: “Yet you’re the one who is asking me to turn on my camera and expose myself?”

Boss: “I… I…”

Me:Anyway, moving on to the meeting agenda!”

I got the meeting back on track and saved my boss from having a fit. Afterward, an email went out saying that all attendees for the morning Zoom call should have their cameras turned on and be wearing work-appropriate attire.

The next day.

Boss: “Thank you all for joining the call, I’d like to… [Coworker]… what are you wearing?”

Coworker: “It’s a dress.”

Boss: “You can’t wear a dress!”

Coworker: “[Female Coworker] is wearing a dress.”

Boss: “Yes, but, she’s a woman!”

Coworker: “You sure you want to pick that scab?”

Boss: “But…”

Coworker: “This is one of the dresses my wife wears to her office and it’s 100% work appropriate.”

I quickly take over the meeting again before our boss gets himself into an HR incident. I know my coworker was intentionally pushing buttons, but since he works so very hard to 100% be within the technical rules nothing could be done, and thank goodness for that, he keeps the meetings interesting!

Any requirements to have the camera turned on for Zoom meetings were rescinded by the end of the week after he started wearing make-up and eyelash extensions (again, never too extreme to be against company guidelines) and it was too much for our narrow-minded boss to handle.


This story is part of our Even-More-Highest-Voted-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) roundup!

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That’s Some Weird Logic You Got There, Buddy

, , , | Healthy | January 11, 2023

When I worked in Emergency Medical Services, I had a male patient who got stabbed in between his butt cheeks.

Me: “Sir, we’re going to have to take your pants off so we can bandage the wound and keep you from bleeding any further.”

Patient: *Screaming* “I don’t want no female putting anything near my behind! That’s gay!”

Me: “You don’t have a choice. Either we patch you up or we let you bleed out enough that you pass out and we do it anyway.”

What made this comical was that if he had worn his pants properly on his waist, the knife wouldn’t have been able to get so far between his cheeks and he would only have had a scratch.