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We Hope His Fries Are Ice Cold

, , | Right | April 11, 2022

A man and his wife approached my register, and the man mumbled his order.

Me: “I’m sorry, could you speak up?”


Then, turned to his wife.

Man: “What the h*** is wrong with this idiot? Is he brain damaged or just r******d?”

He then pushed his wife over to the next register and asked the employee there:

Man: “Can we order here, please? Thanks. You need to make your special-ed employees wear badges warning customers that they need special handling. Anyway, I’ll take a…”

It was the only time I seriously debated between keeping my job or losing it after yanking a customer over the counter and beating him to a pulp!

Reroute To The Mother For Best Results

, , , , , , | Right | April 9, 2022

It is during the early stages of the transition between analog house phones and digital models, so this is the first time a router has been installed at this caller’s mom’s house. She’d never needed a router before, so the process is a little more complicated than it is nowadays.

But the problem isn’t the router, it’s the caller.

While I try to navigate him through the process of initiating the basic setup, he gets angrier and angrier, yelling at me that I don’t know what to do while skipping most of the necessary steps, insisting on doing unnecessary things, or using his preferred software even if it doesn’t work. I don’t even get him to log into the router software to enter the needed data.

Finally, he rage-screams something about women taking men’s jobs and I hear the mobile clattering on a surface and him slamming a door.

The next thing I hear is rustling and a shy voice calling, “Hello?” It’s his mom, who begs me to get her phone online.

Her son has left his laptop up and running, so I lead this sixty-plus-year-old woman who has never touched a computer before through every little step — explaining to her how to use the mouse, explaining how to type, and explaining where to put the address of the router — and lead her step by step through the setup assistant, and we get her phone up and running.

The most time is spent on finding a sufficient browser since her son had insisted on one with which our router software doesn’t agree with. She needs a lot of descriptions and I have to explain literally everything on screen just using my tech dummies as reference, but she does that active listening trick where she repeats everything I say back to me before doing it and asks really good questions when she encounters something she doesn’t understand, so it goes slowly, but I never have to repeat myself and she does exactly as told.

To her son’s credit, he was well prepared and everything she needed was there — the passwords, the data, etc.

The whole call takes me far too long and my team leader is not happy, but the lady is so proud of herself, so it’s totally worth it! She even writes me some great feedback, mentioning my name! I find out about this when the company sends me a lovely letter with a copy of her letter attached.

I’ve helped countless people, but this sweet lady stood out. I’ll always remember that call.

Thanks For Your Worthless Two Cents

, , , | Right | April 8, 2022

I’m a cashier, and I’m making small talk with a male customer at my register.

Me: “The new ten-dollar bill is going to have a woman on it!”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s going to be worthless.”

So Much For Inclusivity

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2022

I’m in the park and I overhear a heated conversation between two people about people being transgender.

Woman #1: “There’s no official test for it! It doesn’t exist!”

Woman #2: “There were no official tests for oxygen until 1774. By your logic, that would mean there was no such thing as oxygen prior to then!”

Woman #1: “That’s not what I meant!”

Woman #2: “Fine! The test for determining someone’s sexuality is, ‘Who do you find sexually attractive? Men, women, everyone, nobody?’ Right?”

Woman #1: “Well, yes.”

Woman #2: “And that’s perfectly valid, right?”

Woman #1: “Yes.”

Woman #2: “So then the test for being transgender — ‘Are you more comfortable presenting as the gender you were assigned at birth or a different gender to the one you were assigned as?’ — is valid as a test.”

Woman #1: “No!”

Woman #2: “Then it’s not fine for the other one to be decided by one’s own opinion, either!”

Woman #1: “That’s not—”

Woman #2: “You are part of the LGBTQ+ community; you should respect all letters that are included.”

Thanks For Volunteering Your Gross Opinions

, , , | Right | April 5, 2022

I was hanging clothes, and a very nice regular came up and asked me about whether a place we had formerly lived was more or less racist than here. It was a perfectly nice discussion, mind you.

Me: “People choose different groups to be racist about in different places.”

Another customer broke into the conversation.

Customer: *Proudly* “You’re right! My people absolutely hate Mexicans!”

She went on and on. I started to walk away and she complained about that, so I stopped.

Me: “I’m a volunteer. I don’t have to listen to your racist crap just to keep my job. They’d rather have me here than you.”

We didn’t have to throw her out. She stomped out, all pissed that we weren’t a captive audience like paid workers who need their jobs.