Going The Extra (S)Mile To Be Annoying

, , , , | Working | February 14, 2019

(I am having one of those mornings where everything goes wrong: almost no sleep, car trouble, spilled juice on my clothes, burned myself in the kitchen, dog chewed a hole in the rug, etc. I’m tired and I’m on my last nerve. I’m running errands and the pet store is my last stop before taking a break for lunch. I put a large bag of dog food on the counter — I’m a small woman so I have to carry it with both arms — and start digging in my purse for my credit card. I go to pay but notice that the cashier hasn’t rung up my purchase.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

(The cashier is grinning at me.)

Cashier: “I’m not ringing this up until you smile for me.”

(I stare at him. I assume he’s joking and stand there, waiting for him to ring up the dog food. He keeps grinning and nods at me.)

Cashier: *in a cutesy voice* “Come on, now. Smile for me.”

(And that’s the moment when I’ve had enough. I flip him off with both hands, leave the dog food on the counter, and walk to the door.)

Cashier: *sounds shocked* “Hey, wait! It’s just a smile!”

(I flipped him off again over my shoulder and kept walking. I had to make an extra stop at a different pet store, but I don’t regret it.)

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The “Race” For Security

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2019

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I need my balance.”

Me: “I’ll be happy to assist. I do need to verify your information.”

(Other than his name, he does not answer any security questions correctly.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but for security reasons, you will need to contact a branch during business hours.”

Caller: “No, you will help me now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but…”

Caller: “No, you listen here. You sound like a black guy. I’ll go to every branch and tell the managers you called me a cracker and you have been racist.”

Me: “Absolutely, sir. You do what you need to do; however, I should let you know that this call is being recorded and they can pull this call and listen to it.”

Caller: *hangs up*

Your Insults Can Just Walkie On By

, , , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

(Many of the associates in my store have learned that it’s easier to clip our walkie-talkies to our back pockets instead of a front pocket or our belts. It prevents us from constantly whacking the walkies with our arms, hitting it against displays, and so on. One day, a customer sees my walkie clipped onto my back pocket. I’m an overweight female.)

Customer: *insultingly* “I’m surprised your radio doesn’t break when you sit on it.”

Me: “HA! I wish I had the chance to sit down around here! I’ve been here for six hours now and haven’t had a chance to sit down once.”

(In a store with too few employees, we were always SO busy that many of us are forced to skip breaks and only take the barest of lunches on every shift. Ignoring the way this man is commenting on my weight AND has to have been looking at my butt while I work, I try to be civil.)

Me: “And when I do finally get a break, I take this thing off.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(His wife smacked him on the arm, and they paid for their copies and left without another word. I hope she gave him a talking to when they were on their way home!)

Made With Barley, Hops, And Gender Stereotypes

, , , , , , | Right | February 11, 2019

(I am volunteering behind the bar at a beer festival, serving over 100 beers of many different styles. A woman approaches to order.)

Woman: “I’m looking for a girly beer. Something girls will like.”

Me: “What kind of beer do you normally drink? Light, dark, or something in the middle?”

Woman: “Something girly!”

Me: “None of our beer is sexist, madam, but let me see what I can find you.”

(She took it in good humour, and I recommended a light golden ale, which she enjoyed.)

Oh, Halal No!

, , , , , , , | Legal | February 7, 2019

My friend works as a lawyer. He was invited to a restaurant to meet with a potential employer/business partner, but was not able to attend due to his religious dietary restrictions.

He received the following text message once he let them know that he was not able to attend:

“Kosher was introduced centuries ago when the food supply was unreliable, and many were getting sick.

The same is true of Halal food.

But today, with refrigeration, government inspections and so on, adherence to Kosher is no longer relevant.

I am concerned that we may have difficulty working together if you adhere to this and other non-rational practices.

Including adherence to non-rational holidays. Being a criminal and deportation practice, my phone rings 24/7/365 and I need to be available to work.

I will have lunch and a beer with [Big Lawyer] at an Italian bistro next Thursday.”

My friend was surprised that someone would say something like this on record, being that this is a blatant Human Rights violation in Ontario.

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