Our grocery store has its own brand line of bulk goods, and I manage that department. We get a notice that the coconut flakes have been held and placed on recall due to salmonella contamination, so we have to pull all our stock on hand, and we have no estimation of when we can reorder.
We put up a health advisory notice on the shelf to notify customers that they shouldn’t consume any they’ve purchased and that they should bring it back for a refund.
One of the cashiers calls for the bulk manager on the overhead, and I go up to find a very huffy customer waiting.
Customer: “Are you the bulk manager?”
Me: “How can I help you?”
Customer: “No, I want to speak to the manager. I expected a man.”
Me: “Well, you’re speaking to me.”
Customer: *Speaking slowly in a condescending tone* “Are you. Or are you not. The. Bulk. Man-a-ger?”
Me: “I am… the specific person you asked for, yes. And here I am. Now that we’ve established that, how can I help you?”
Customer: “You need to do your job better because you’re out of my coconut flakes.”
Me: “They were recalled due to salmonella. There’s a sign. We have other coconut flakes in another brand that is unaffected by the recall.”
Customer: “I don’t want those flakes; I want the bulk ones.”
Me: “Well, they’re not available.”
Customer: “So, when are you going to reorder?”
Me: “When they have been cleared as safe for consumption, they will be available again. But the recall was just announced, so we have no estimation yet of when that will be.”
Customer: “Have you ever even tried these coconut flakes? Do you even know what they taste like?”
Me: “I know what coconut tastes like.”
Customer: “But do you know what this coconut tastes like? Because if you ever tried it, you would understand why I’m so upset, and why you shouldn’t try to pawn off that inferior crap on me.”
My soul leaves my body and goes to lie on a beach somewhere.
Me: “Okay.”
Customer: “Well, if they paid you enough to try your own product, you might be knowledgeable enough about them to do your job.”
I’ve already decided that trying to reason with this person is going nowhere, so I’m just focused on cutting the conversation off so I can get back to my tasks.
Me: “Well, unfortunately, doing this right now is my job. So, if there isn’t anything else I can do—”
Customer: “I don’t know, is there?! What am I supposed to do?”
Me: “I can only offer you the other coconut flakes we carry.”
Customer: “But I don’t want those. You don’t have the ones I want.”
Me: “No, we don’t. All right, then, have a good evening.”
Customer: “You don’t have what I want! What are you going to do about it?”
Me: “I’m afraid there’s nothing else I can do.”
Customer: “Nothing?! You’re not going to help me?”
Me: “The CDC issued a recall. We pulled all of our product from the shelves and are prohibited from selling it. Let me be clear. No one has the power to help you.”
Customer: “Well, if you still have some in the back and you can’t sell it, why can’t you just give it to me?”
Me: “Absolutely not. It’s going to be destroyed for safety reasons.”
Customer: “What do you mean, no?!“
Me: “It means request denied. We’re done here. Goodbye!”
The customer gasps, obviously shocked that some of his sass got thrown back at him, and storms out tearfully.
Customer: “This is the worst service ever!“
Cashier: *Rolling her eyes* “It could have been worse. You could have been hospitalized with salmonella.”
Me: “That could have easily been arranged out the back door. Lord knows I was tempted.”