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The Customer Is Just Accentuating The Problem

, , , , , | Right | November 16, 2022

I work from home for a shoe company in the customer service department. My particular department deals with USA customers. A man calls regarding a credit on his account; he wants to use that to purchase another item.

I must note that I have a northern English accent, but just as I can have trouble with American accents, I always believe patience is key because accents are just a way of life.

Customer: “What is the name of the shoes that I had before? I want to look them up on the website.”

Me: “The name is [Shoe].”

Customer: “What? I cannot understand you. Is that English?”

I repeat the name three times and use it in a sentence.

Customer: “Your accent is too thick! Are there any Americans to speak English to me?”

Me: “I apologise; we do not have any USA staff and I have not had this problem before. I will try to speak slower.”

I speak slower, and the customer begins to sarcastically laugh.

Customer: “Does anyone else speak better English?”

Me: *Through gritted teeth* “The employees on call tonight — apart from me — are actually from Liverpool, and you may find that a harder accent to understand, but I can transfer you.”

The customer sighs dramatically.

Me: “I understand that we both have accents. If you can be patient, I will speak as slowly as possible.”

The call somehow comes to an end, and I finalise the transaction — however, not before I am subjected to the customer telling me:

Customer: “You don’t speak English; it’s like Mandarin English.”

He laughs hysterically. My silence must speak volumes.

Customer: “You don’t find that funny?”

Me: “No!”

I then hung up.

That Guy Al Is Up To No Good Again

, , , , , | Right | November 11, 2022

I work in a call center for a home security company. I get a call from an old lady.

Caller: “Did you know you’re committing treason?”

Me: “Uh, do what now?”

Caller: “You’ve got advertisements on a terrorist TV show!”

Me: “I don’t follow you, ma’am.”

Caller: “What are you, stupid? You’ve got advertisements on Al Jazeera, those terrorists that blew up 9/11!”

Me: “Ma’am, Al Jazeera is a news network; they’re like the NBC of the United Arab Emirates, or whichever country they’re in.”

Caller: “You kids these days are so f****** stupid! I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Okay, one sec.”

I hit the immediate transfer button.

Basically, my manager says: 

Manager: “Yeah, this call is pointless. Send them to Customer Relations.”

I start explaining the situation to Customer Relations.

Customer Relations: “They said what?! Aww, dis gon’ be gud. Send dat lady over hurr; I gotta hurr dis.”

What A Juliett Echo Romeo Kilo

, , , , , , , | Working | November 9, 2022

I have a relatively new starter working the drive-thru. 

Worker: “[My Name], there’s a weirdo trying to order. Can you take him?”

Me: “What’s he doing?”

Worker: “I don’t know. I asked him what he wanted, and he just started calling me a Karen and saying something about a Sienna. I don’t even know if a Sienna works here.”

Confused, I take the headset.

Me: “Sorry about that. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “I have a code.”

Me: “Oh, perfect. What’s the code?”

Customer: “Kilo-Sierra seventy-seven.”

I realised what my worker was confused about and processed the order. I regaled her with it after the customer got his food, but she started moaning about how it didn’t make sense because our codes were like “pins with letters” and “kilo sierra is too long”. I explained that he was using the phonetic alphabet, and she stared at me completely blankly before saying he was probably an [ableist slur] and went off to do something else.

She’s got her probationary review next month, and I’m of the mind to make the manager aware of her language.

Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 24

, , , , , | Working | November 4, 2022

I was cooking in a restaurant years ago, and my executive chef was an amazing woman. A new guy started working while she was off dealing with a family emergency for a week. He seemed to be okay during that week; he was a hard-working, fast, talented cook.

Then, [Executive Chef] came back and resumed her position as head of the kitchen. This did not sit well with [New Guy]. The reason?

New Guy: “Women simply have no business being in an industrial kitchen. They need to stay home in the kitchen!”

What the actual f***?

He would argue with her on every little thing. The last straw for her was when he told her she was making a dish wrong — when she was the one who had created the recipe and plating.

He was all Surprised Pikachu Face when she fired him. It was glorious!

Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 23
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 22
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 21
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 20
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 19

This Sounds Like The Time For A MIC DROP!

, , , , | Working | November 4, 2022

At a previous job, our office manager was an entitled, white, land-owning South African living and working in the United States. She thought she cleverly concealed her racism. She did not.

When she returned from her US naturalization ceremony (where she became a US citizen), I said:

Me: “Congratulations! You are now an African-American!”

I’m not sure which aspect infuriated her more: being called an African-American or knowing that she couldn’t retaliate in any way without being exposed as the racist she was.

We all enjoyed that moment.