(I have been on the call with a client for about half an hour, going over some information prior to his appointment. He has asked me to give him directions to our offices, but refuses to tell me where he is. After a few minutes of back and forth, my manager signals me.)

Me: “Um, do you mind if I put you on speaker? My manager believes he might be able to help.”

Client: “Yes, please. Thank God — a man who will be able to give directions.”

(I put him on speaker.)

Manager: “You just need to take a left, and then it’s the third right.”

Client: “THANK YOU!”

(I look at him confused, but he motions to keep quiet. The client asks about a roundabout, and my manager says to take the second exit. After about a minute the client speaks again.)

Client: “WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? YOU’VE TAKEN ME TO A DUMP!”

Manager: *laughing* “Yup, that sounds like exactly where you need to be. Good luck!” *ends the call* “I don’t think that could have ended better.”

Me: “How did you know where he was?”

Manager: “I don’t, and I never will now.”

(I work in a movie theatre. A customer approaches the kiosk.)

Me: “Hello. Can I get you anything?”

Customer: “A large popcorn, please.” *as I’m filling a box* “It’s very pretty in here. Is it always like this?”

Me: “Oh, no. Two of our managers just got engaged to each other, and seeing as it’s Pride Month, we decided to celebrate a little.”

Customer: “Oh!” *looks around* “So, this is what it’s like to be inside the Gay Agenda. It’s very colourful.”

(He then left the kiosk and walked into his screening, while I stood there shouting, asking if he still wanted his popcorn.)

This story is part of the Pride Month 2023 roundup!

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(I’m taking a class on the history of animation. One of our assignments is to go to the library where there is a video reserved for the class to watch in our off time, featuring various old theatrical cartoons that were banned from television for various reasons, mostly due to being politically incorrect. After this, we have to write a paper on it. On the day that the assignment is due, we end up having an in-class discussion on the cartoons that we saw. One cartoon, in particular, looks like it came out either in the late 1920s or early 30s, and everyone keeps talking about the beginning that had a rather blatant Jewish stereotype.)

Me: “Wait a minute. So, we’re discussing a cartoon that ended with piles of dead bodies, many of which were dismembered, and there was even an on-screen decapitation, but the part everyone here is hung up on is the Jewish stereotype that was on screen for about three seconds?”

(My cousin recently got engaged but her mom is not very happy about it. My future cousin-in-law has tattoos and piercings. My aunt is… old-fashioned, you could say. This happens when we’re having a family BBQ to celebrate the engagement.)

Aunt: *to my father, who is supervising the grill* “Ugh, what does she see in that boy?”

Dad: “What are you talking about?”

Aunt: “That pierced brat who seduced my sweet angel.”

Dad: “Sis, please don’t be one of those people. He’s a very charming young man.”

Aunt: “How is that charming?”

(She points at my fiancé who is showing us his newest tattoo)

Aunt: “Why couldn’t she find a nice, God-fearing boy? I doubt he even knows what a Bible looks like; if he did he probably wouldn’t look like a heathen.”

Dad: *loud enough for everyone to hear* “[Aunt], I’ve never had a problem with your beliefs before, but now I think I’ve had enough. You’ve become really fanatical and obnoxious lately.”

Aunt: “How dare you!”

Dad: “Let me put it this way. One: the Bible is thousands of years old and has been translated and retranslated so many times, who knows what it originally said? Two: as far as I’m aware, the Bible is against mutilating your body and demonic symbols. His tattoos are beautiful and meaningful to him; I actually listened to the stories behind them. And three, we’re eating hamburgers, your dress is cotton and lace, you’re wearing jewelry, and both I and your husband have shaved our beards. Do I have to rephrase all that in order for you to understand? “

(My aunt stayed quiet for the rest of the day. My uncle later confessed to me that this was the event to finally convince him to get a divorce.)

(I am walking when a couple of Americans approach me, clearly annoyed.)

Male Tourist: “Where is the main street?”

Me: “Well, in Italy we do not have a main street as you have in the States. We have a main square, usually, but if you’re searching for—“

Male Tourist: “What do you mean, you don’t have a main street?!”

Me: “I mean that if you’re searching for [Famous Shopping Street], I’ll be glad to give you the indications, but it’s not a main street. The city centre is collocated around [Main Square].”

Male Tourist: “Well, that’s stupid!”

Me: “No, it’s not. It’s just different from the United States.”

Female Tourist: *huffing* “You all should learn from us, you know? A main square makes no sense at all.”

Me: *starting to be a little annoyed at this point* “Whatever. This is how things work here.”

Male Tourist: “Well, it’s still stupid. We do things much better in our country.”

Me: *deciding to leave* “With all due respect, you elected Donald Trump. Good luck!”