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One Man’s Art Is Another Man’s Political Agenda

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2009

Me: *on the phone* “Hello, this is [Video Rental].”

Customer: “Yes. I would like a refund. This movie is in a different language!”

Me: “What movie is it?”

Customer:Pan’s Labyrinth.”

Me: “Yes, sir. That’s a foreign film. If you’d like, you can come and exchange it for an English-language film.”

Customer: “Why do they do that?”

Me: “Do what, sir?”

Customer: “Make movies in other languages.”

Me: “It wasn’t made in America, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not giving them immigrants any of my money!”


This story is part of the Scared-Of-Subtitles roundup!

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White In New Jersey, What A Concept

, , , , , | Right | April 8, 2009

(The store has a policy where if customers bring in empty printer cartridges they would receive a free ream of white paper. However, the store would only take a few brands.)

Customer: “I have these printer cartridges and I’d like to receive my free paper.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t accept this brand.”

Customer: “You can’t be serious, what else am I going to do with them?”

Coworker: “Well the sign over there states which brands we take, but we can recycle them for you.”

(The customer turns to me.)

Customer: “Is this a race thing? Is it because I’m white?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’m serious. I demand to know if this is because I’m white!”

Cultural Diversity Is A-Dora-ble

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2009

(A customer wearing very affluent clothing walks over holding a “Dora the Explorer” plush doll.)

Customer: “Hello, can you help me?”

Me: “Certainly, what I can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’m looking one of these, but in white.”

Me: “Oh, you mean like this?” *shows the customer a similar plush toy but wearing a white dress*

Customer: “NO! NO! One that is WHITE!”

Me: *puzzled* “I’m sorry, but this is the only other one we have in stock… Did you see it on our website? Was it another style of clothing?”

Customer: “NO! WHITE, LIKE ME!” *points at her face*

Me: “You mean… a Caucasian Dora?”

Customer: “YES! Where do you have them?”

Me: “Ma’am, Dora was designed to help people from different backgrounds come to understand their common ground; Dora therefore doesn’t come in a different skin tone. She is what she is.”

Customer: “WHAT? That is RIDICULOUS! Give me a WHITE DORA!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but they simply don’t exist…”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll take my business elsewhere!” *storms out*

University Of Homer Simpson

, , | Right | March 12, 2009

(I’m 19 and a customer in his mid-twenties comes up to me with a six-pack of beer and some beef jerky.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, since I’m underage I can’t sell you this beer. Would you mind waiting for my coworker?”

Customer: “Oh, sure no problem. Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “You’re of Indian descent, right?”

Me: “That’s right, sir.”

Customer: “But you were born here in America, right?”

Me: “Uh, no actually. I was born in India, but I moved here pretty young.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you don’t have an accent! I’ve seen all the movies! Any Indian character who works at a gas station always has an accent!”


This story is part of our India roundup!

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This Land Was Made For Me Not You

, , | Right | March 11, 2009

Me: “Hello. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like two bean burritos, two fah-jee-tuhs, grilled stuffed burritos, and a large drink.”

Me: “Fah-jee-tuh?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “You mean fajitas?”

Customer: “No, we don’t pronounce it like that! We’re in America, not Mexico!”