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Cardiac Unrest

, , , | Right | August 8, 2012

(I work in an ER and I am checking in a patient who needs a cardiac procedure.)

Patient: “You have an accent. Where are you from?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Patient: *disgusted* “South Africa? Oh, well I’m sure they wouldn’t have hired you unless you were properly educated.”

Me: “I assure you, I have a good education. The cardiologist will be in to see you shortly.”

(As I’m walking out, the cardiologist walks in and introduces himself to the patient.)

Patient: “Oh, you have an accent, too. Where are you from?”

Doctor: “South Africa.”

Patient: *horrified*


This story is part of our “Where are you from?” roundup!

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Read the “Where are you from?” roundup!

The League Of Extraordinary Diversity

, , , , | Working | August 7, 2012

(I recently moved to Florida from Scotland, making me a legal immigrant. I’ve gotten a temporary job working at a supermarket just so I have some money to keep me going. I’m also a very upfront person, and I speak my mind regardless of who it is I’m speaking to. I’m also gay but not camp. First week on the job, I’m assigned to a more senior employee for training. This happens a few days after I start.)

Coworker: “I’m glad to see you’re getting this so quickly. It’s good to see that there are still people who know how to work.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Coworker: “I’m just glad the job didn’t go to some immigrant. I’m sick of them taking all our jobs.”

Me: *laughs* “You’re kidding, right?”

Coworker: “No, I can’t stand immigrants!”

Me: “I’M an immigrant!”

Coworker: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I am. I’m not American; I’m Scottish. I come from another country… only two weeks ago in fact. I’ve come into your country and taken one of ‘your’ jobs, so that makes me one of those immigrants you don’t like.”

Coworker: “Well, yeah, but you’re not what I meant…”

Me: “Whatever.”

(Two days later…)

Coworker: “Look at those f**s over there. It’s not natural.”

Me: *laughs again* “What? You can’t honestly be saying that to me!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I’m gay!”

Coworker: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I think I would know better than you!”

Coworker: “But you don’t look or sound it!”

Me: “Oh, really? Well, if you must know, it’s a big conspiracy. There is a League of Gay Immigrants who don’t look or act gay or look like immigrants, and we’re taking over your country one job at a time. It’ll take some time, but we’re getting there!”

Coworker: *distraught* “You are what’s wrong with this country. People like you are bringing this country down!”

Me: *joking* “Well, we’re just taking back what you took from us! Give America back to Britain and you’ll be spared!”


This story is part of our Scotland themed roundup!

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Read the Scotland themed roundup!

The Scales Will Never Fall From Her Eyes

, , , , | Right | July 3, 2012

(I am a female working in a reptile store, so it’s fairly common for people to question why I would be interested in snakes and lizards. On this particular day, I’m helping a woman and her six-year-old daughter hold a snake.)

Customer: “So, do you have any reptiles of your own at home?”

Me: “Oh, yes, I have a ton.” *laughs*

Customer: “How does that affect your dating life? I mean, boys can’t possibly think that’s attractive in a girl!”

(The customer’s question has caught me off guard, but I try to remain friendly.)

Me: “Um, it doesn’t really have an effect. It’s not usually an issue.”

Customer’s Daughter: “Mommy, can I get a pet snake?!”

Customer: “No, sweetie. We want YOU to have boyfriends.”

Me: *speechless*


This story is part of our Snakes roundup!

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Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Bottom-Rung Bozos

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2012

(This takes place in a small mom-and-pop gift store. I am about seven months pregnant.)

Customer: “Hey, you, girl! I need one of those games at the top of the shelf.”

Me: “Sure, no problem, sir. Just give me a moment to finish up here and I’ll grab it.”

Customer: “Well, hurry up!”

(The customer continues to mutter about me being useless. I go to grab the ladder when my coworker, who happens to be the owner’s son, sees this.)

Coworker: *to me* “Oh, hey… You don’t need to be on that ladder. I got it.”

Customer: *to my coworker* “What?! No, I asked her. Let her do it!”

Coworker: “Sir, it’s not safe for her to be up there right now.”

Customer: “YOU SHOULDN’T BE ACCOMMODATING TO FATTIES!”

(Note: the customer himself is extremely large.)

Coworker: “Sir, she’s pregnant, not fat.”

Customer: “Stupid b**** is just fat! You shouldn’t accommodate fatties! She’s just a fat b****! Make her do her job! STOP ACCOMMODATING THE FATTIES!”

Me: “Sir, I’m seven months pregnant, not fat, and if you continue to use vulgar language, I will have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “You stupid b****! Do your d*** job, you stupid fat a**!”

Me: “I’m refusing you service. Please leave.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T DO THAT! GET THAT D*** GAME! I PAY YOUR SALARY!”

(The owner, who has overheard the entire exchange, comes over.)

Owner: “Sir, you shouldn’t be carrying on and calling people fatties… especially pregnant women.”

Customer: “F*** YOU! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Owner: “I’ll do you one better: I own this store, and if I see you in my store again, I will have you arrested for trespassing. Oh, and NO, you don’t pay her salary. I do, and I plan to give her a big raise after this.”

Customer: “SCREW YOU! You can’t talk to me this way. I’m a paying customer!”

Coworker: “Hey, buddy, you just blow in from stupid town? You haven’t bought anything.”

Customer: “DON’T ACCOMMODATE FATTIES!”

(In his anger, he knocks a rack of merchandise over and hauls out of the store as fast as he can.)

Coworker: “I’m going to call the police.”

(The customer was arrested less than a block away, and I got a raise.)


This story is part of our Small Business roundup!

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Weekly Roundup: So Long, Sexism

, | Right | June 10, 2012

So Long, Sexism: This week, we feature five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers!

  1. The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back:
    A sexist fast food customer faces women in power–everywhere!
  2. The Land Of Milk And Money:
    Don’t have a cow, man–ladies understand farming, too.
  3. Cross-Platform Chromosomes:
    Games may be platform-specific, but video gamers are gender neutral!
  4. Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica:
    News flash from Bigotland: half of America ain’t American.
  5. The Spice Girls Have A Lot To Answer For:
    Yes, “Ladies go first”–except when they’re cutting in line!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!