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Weekly Roundup: Bigots Are Boneheads!

, | Right | September 16, 2012

Bigots Are Boneheads! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about bigoted customers!

  1. Going Bananas (5,891 thumbs up)
    A sexist customer complaining about neutering gets neutered himself!
  2. A War Unwon (3,705 thumbs up)
    A marine who fought abroad unfortunately learns that there are enemies at home, too.
  3. Time To Moooove To Another Cowllege (3,720 thumbs up)
    Move over, racial and religious discrimination: introducing FARM discrimination!
  4. So Pho, So Crazy (3,932 thumbs up)
    A Vietnamese supermarket employee has a run-in with a genocidal customer.
  5. Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood (3,345 thumbs up)
    History is an absolute mystery for this boneheaded tourist!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

No Sense, No Sensitivity, No Service

, , , , , , | Right | September 11, 2012

(I am checking out an older gay couple holding hands, who has been very pleasant, when the customer behind them speaks up.)

Me: “How are you guys doing today?”

Customer #1: “Oh, just great.”

Customer #2: “Hey! Lady!”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer #2: “You’re allowed to refuse to serve people, aren’t you?”

Me: “Um, yes, I can make them go to another line if they cause problems.”

Customer #2: “Well, why are you ringing out these homos?! Kick them out of your line!”

Me: “Um, sir, these men haven’t been causing problems.”

Customer #2: “They’re f***ing f****ts! I can’t believe you’re helping them!” *to the couple* “Get the h*** out of here! She’s refusing to serve you!”

Customer #1: “We’re not doing anything!”

Me: “Please, sir, I have no problem. They’ve been very nice to me. I’m almost done checking them out, anyway.”

Customer #2: “No! No, no, no! I demand that you refuse them service!”

(By now, I’ve finished with the couple’s grocery order.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer #2: “What?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to refuse you service. Please move to another line.”

(He threw a fit and complained to my manager, but the gay couple spoke up in my defense and [Customer #2] was banned from the store.)

Chauvinists To The Right Of Them, Chauvinists To The Left Of Them

, , , | Learning | August 28, 2012

(I’m in a college bookstore looking for used textbooks. I’ve already got one textbook when I’m approached by another customer. Note: I’m female, and the other customer is male.)

Customer: “Hey! You took the book I need!”

Me: “Oh, there are other copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “That’s the cheapest used copy! I saw it earlier and I was coming back for it!”

Me: “Umm… well, I’m sorry if I seem unsympathetic, but why didn’t you just buy it earlier?”

Customer: “Because, I was running late for class! Now, give it!” *holds out his hand*

Me: “Umm… no. I’m sorry, but I’m purchasing this book because I need it for my own classes. There are other copies, so…”

Customer: *stomps his foot* “You give me that book and you give it right now! No girl can ever understand that subject, anyway!”

(Overhearing the commotion, an employee walks up.)

Employee: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “It’s no big deal. I just grabbed this copy of the textbook, and for some reason he doesn’t want to grab one of the other ones on the shelf.”

Employee: “I wasn’t asking you.” *to the male customer* “What’s going on?”

Customer: “She took the cheapest used copy of that textbook. Girls are too r*****ed to understand that subject, so she can’t have that book! Tell her to give it to me NOW!”

Employee: *to me* “He’s right. That subject is awfully hard, you know. Much too hard for girls. Shouldn’t you take the intro class?”

Me: “First, I already have taken the intro class. Second, I don’t find it that difficult to understand, just fascinating. Third, I want to talk to your manager!”

Employee: “No. Just hand over the book, little girl.”

Me: *rolling eyes* “Toodles, boys. You’re not worth my time…”

(I went to the register and was rung through by another young man who was much more polite. He *did* call the manager for me, and I explained the situation. The manager called the employee over and fired him on the spot. When he saw the other customer, it turned out that guy worked in the store, too, and he was also fired.)

Cardiac Unrest

, , , | Right | August 8, 2012

(I work in an ER and I am checking in a patient who needs a cardiac procedure.)

Patient: “You have an accent. Where are you from?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Patient: *disgusted* “South Africa? Oh, well I’m sure they wouldn’t have hired you unless you were properly educated.”

Me: “I assure you, I have a good education. The cardiologist will be in to see you shortly.”

(As I’m walking out, the cardiologist walks in and introduces himself to the patient.)

Patient: “Oh, you have an accent, too. Where are you from?”

Doctor: “South Africa.”

Patient: *horrified*


This story is part of our “Where are you from?” roundup!

Read the next “Where are you from?” roundup story!

Read the “Where are you from?” roundup!

The League Of Extraordinary Diversity

, , , , | Working | August 7, 2012

(I recently moved to Florida from Scotland, making me a legal immigrant. I’ve gotten a temporary job working at a supermarket just so I have some money to keep me going. I’m also a very upfront person, and I speak my mind regardless of who it is I’m speaking to. I’m also gay but not camp. First week on the job, I’m assigned to a more senior employee for training. This happens a few days after I start.)

Coworker: “I’m glad to see you’re getting this so quickly. It’s good to see that there are still people who know how to work.”

Me: “Thanks!”

Coworker: “I’m just glad the job didn’t go to some immigrant. I’m sick of them taking all our jobs.”

Me: *laughs* “You’re kidding, right?”

Coworker: “No, I can’t stand immigrants!”

Me: “I’M an immigrant!”

Coworker: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I am. I’m not American; I’m Scottish. I come from another country… only two weeks ago in fact. I’ve come into your country and taken one of ‘your’ jobs, so that makes me one of those immigrants you don’t like.”

Coworker: “Well, yeah, but you’re not what I meant…”

Me: “Whatever.”

(Two days later…)

Coworker: “Look at those f**s over there. It’s not natural.”

Me: *laughs again* “What? You can’t honestly be saying that to me!”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “I’m gay!”

Coworker: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I think I would know better than you!”

Coworker: “But you don’t look or sound it!”

Me: “Oh, really? Well, if you must know, it’s a big conspiracy. There is a League of Gay Immigrants who don’t look or act gay or look like immigrants, and we’re taking over your country one job at a time. It’ll take some time, but we’re getting there!”

Coworker: *distraught* “You are what’s wrong with this country. People like you are bringing this country down!”

Me: *joking* “Well, we’re just taking back what you took from us! Give America back to Britain and you’ll be spared!”


This story is part of our Scotland themed roundup!

Read the next Scotland themed roundup story!

Read the Scotland themed roundup!