Time To Moooove To Another Cowllege

, , , | Right | April 7, 2008

(For three years, my job was to deal with angry parents. I was very good at it. Most of the time.)

Parent: *angrily* “I need to speak to someone about my daughter’s roommates!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

Parent: “Her roommates are awful to her! ”

Me: “Okay. Can you detail the problems for me? The more specific you can be, the better we can help your daughter and her roommates settle their problems.”

Parent: “They curse, and they play loud music, and they’re, well, they’re just not like us.”

Me: “In what way are they not like you, ma’am?”

Parent: “Well, they’re… farm people.”

(Twenty seconds of absolute silence as I am, for once, thrown off my game. I’ve heard racial B.S. and religious B.S., but never farm B.S.)

Parent: “Not that there’s anything wrong with farm people. It’s just that we’re not farm people.”

(I’m still in shock. She keeps going.)

Parent: I mean, farms are useful, but we’re from the city. My daughter grew up going to the theater and to museums.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you, as a kid from a farm myself, I’ve been to the theater and to museums. What we probably have here is a personality clash.”

(There’s about a ten-second pause that just drips with uncomfortable.)

Parent: “Perhaps I should speak to someone else.”


This story is part of the Farmer roundup.

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
5,188

Racism Rears Its Ugly Head, Gets Decapitated

, , , | Right | March 31, 2008

(Working at a sandwich place across the street from my college campus. One of my Spanish professors enters, and we chat in Spanish as I make her food. Another man comes in while we’re chatting, and stares at us.)

Customer: “What the h***? Don’t you dare coddle that job-stealing Mexican!”

Me: “Sir, that woman is a Ph.D. I can guarantee you, she did not steal your job. Oh, and she’s from New York. Can I take your order?”

Customer: *storms out*


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

Read the next Confused-With-Spanish roundup story!

Read the Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

1 Thumbs
3,650

Like Comic Book Guy, Except Much Prettier

, , | Right | March 30, 2008

(Background: I’m the only female employee at the comic/card shop, and I was hired for my comic knowledge.)

Customer: *to my male coworker* “Did Booster Gold have a series before the new series?”

(Male coworker looks to me because he’s the card guy.)

Me: “Yeah. Early nineties. We’ve got a couple of back issues in the dollar box.”

Customer: *to my male coworker* “So you guys have it?”

Coworker: “If she says we have it, we have it.”

Customer: *finally looking at me* “Oh, you know about comics?”

Me: “That’s why they hired me.”

Customer: “But you’re a girl!”


This story is part of our International Women’s Day roundup!

Read the next International Women’s Day roundup story!

Read the International Women’s Day roundup!

1 Thumbs
6,233

The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2008

(A customer had a complaint about his food. He refused to let the woman working the register help him.)

Man: “I want to talk to a manager.”

Female Employee: “Yes, sir.”

(The employee gets a shift manager to help her.)

Shift Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “No, I want a manager!”

Shift Manager: “I am a shift manager, sir.”

Man: “I want to see the store manager!”

Shift Manager: “Uhm, okay, sir, I’ll be right back.”

(I was in the office working on the crew schedules for the next week. Shift Manager comes in and asks me to deal with the customer. She didn’t need to explain. I’d heard it all… He was very loud. I went to help deal with the situation.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “I want to see a f****** God-d*** manager! Where’s the f****** store manager?”

Me: “I am the store manager, Sir.”

Man: “I want to speak to a male manager!”

Me: “Sir, all of my shift managers are female. As, clearly, am I.”

(Actually, every person working that day was female.)

Man: “I demand to speak to your d*** f***ing boss!”

Me: “I can get you a number so you can call my district manager, sir. Will that be okay?”

Man: “Finally! DO IT NOW!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Just a second.”

(I go into my office and grab one of the district manager’s cards.)

Me: “Here you are, sir. If you give HER a call, I’m sure SHE will be happy to help you.”

(I thought he was going to have a heart attack after that. Purple was definitely not his color.)


This story is part of our Women’s Equality Day roundup!

Read the next Women’s Equality Day story!

Read the Women’s Equality Day roundup!

1 Thumbs
10,782

Fun With Language Barriers

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2008

(I work at this little burger joint in Seattle. I’m white, but I’m bilingual. Our grill workers all speak primarily Spanish, so I talk to customers in English and call back orders in Spanish.)

Old Man Customer: “Now, what is a pretty young thing like you doing speaking the Dirty Man’s Language?”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Old Man Customer: “You should be speaking English! It’s only natural, here in America!”

Me: “It’s just fastest, sir. The language communicates more efficiently in an environment like this.”

(I am not about to tell him that the grill workers are mostly South American immigrants, after hearing his first reaction.)

Old Man Customer: “Have some pride in your country! SPEAK ENGLISH when you call back my order, do you understand?”

Me: *knowing full well that his order won’t actually come through if I did that* “I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid it’s procedure.”

Old Man Customer: “I want to speak with your manager! This restaurant is just UNAMERICAN!”

Manager: *who had been working the register next to me* “Si, señor?”

Old Man Customer: *storms out*


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

Read the next Confused-With-Spanish roundup story!

Read the Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

1 Thumbs
4,730