A long time ago, I play-tested tabletop game systems with a group of friends. This tabletop, which didn’t end up getting popular, was based on an old Japanese cartoon about kids who get pulled into a Digital World and each character gets a companion creature.
The game rules say that the player to your right plays as your companion creature, to aid in role-playing. The game master, a long-time friend, has asked us all to make detailed backstories he can use for side-quests and specifically requires that we only play adult characters.
It’s important to note that I’m an intersex man who likes women only. Because I was born intersex, I have a “child-like” voice despite being an adult man, and I appear more feminine. During character creation, I’m talking to the game master.
Me: “My character is a retired police officer. He retired young. He’d say it was ‘from an injury’ if asked, but it was more that he failed to save someone and got wounded in the process. It messed with his head. I’m hoping to maybe have a side-quest where he gets to save someone as a kind of redemption, maybe?”
Game Master: “Nah. You can’t use that.”
Me: “Why not? Is it too edgy? If so, that’s fair. I can tone it down.”
Game Master: “No, I mean, that’s fine for a character theme. But you can’t play him because you aren’t an actual guy.”
I try to not be offended, since most people don’t understand what I am.
Me: “So, because I sound like a girl, even though I’m not, I can’t play as a man?”
Game Master: *Oblivious* “Yeah, and that backstory wouldn’t make sense for a female cop so… change it. She could be the person who didn’t get saved, so she got messed up scars and daddy issues from it or something. Yeah, daddy issues.”
I decide I don’t want to make waves and begrudgingly accept this. Then it’s the turn of [Male Player], seated to my right.
Male Player: “My character is from America on vacation. She’s a social-media model type who unironically says stuff like ‘Yolo’ and uses duck face for pictures. She keeps falling for all the wrong guys, all across the world.”
Game Master: “No, you can’t play a girl. And boys don’t get famous as models like that. The closest I’ll allow is your character is a guy who is an unemployed weeaboo who used the last of his money to go to Japan and he lives in an Internet cafe.”
Male Player: *Disappointed but polite* “Oh. Okay. I guess that’s fine.”
Game Master: “So, my character is an internationally-acclaimed super genius who also does bodybuilding…”
The Game Master’s character is a complete Mary Sue, in short. Almost every player is forced to change their character in a major way. During the course of the campaign, my character’s companion pet is, for lack of better wording, a walking, talking gun that I’ll call Gun-Mon, short for gun-monster.
The characters end up finding an anomalous/suspicious place with a Hotel-California-esque vibe. After some debate, the party decides we are willing to risk it, in exchange for comfy beds and a hot shower.
Game Master: “The hotel has four rooms, but there are seven characters.”
Male Player: “So, since there are four girls and three boys, that’s easy. Two rooms for chicks and two rooms for dudes.”
Me: “Yeah, my character is fine going with [Girl #1].”
Game Master: *Balking* “Uh, no. Your character is going with mine.”
The Game Master basically assigns every room to have a male and female character in it, based upon his preferred ships.
Me: “No, that would be out of character. My character wouldn’t want to be in a room alone with some guy she barely knows.”
Game Master: *Frustrated sigh* “Fine, I’ll roll for it. My character will convince yours to go into the same hotel room.”
He makes a big show of rolling the dice but cups it before any of us can see what it says.
Game Master: “I win. Move your character token to Hotel Room One.”
Me: “No. That’s still too out of character, even if she feels safe around him.”
The Game Master rolls eyes and acts like he didn’t hear me.
Game Master: “So, anyway, you are in Hotel Room One. My character undresses to sleep naked.”
Me: “Uh, no. My character wants no part of this and would rather sleep outside. She especially wouldn’t stay in a room with a naked man, since you insisted she’s traumatized by her past.”
Game Master: “Well, Gun-Mon says it’s okay.”
Male Player: “Hey, you can’t control Gun-Mon! I’m to his right, so I play Gun-Mon for roleplaying.”
Game Master: “UGH! FINE!”
Male Player: *As Gun-Mon* “I help my master sneak out of the hotel room, since the Game Master’s character went to sleep.”
Game Master: “I didn’t say I went to sleep. I said I got ready to sleep! And my character won’t let you leave the room because I already rolled for it. I won. You have to stay.”
Male Player: *As Gun-Mon* “I say, ‘You didn’t convince me of anything! Get away from the door and away from my master or I’ll shoot your tail off!’ to the Game Master’s character.”
Understandably, since the Game Master character is human, this sentence causes some giggling. This makes the Game Master super angry.
Game Master: “This is stupid. You’re discriminating against me!”
Me: “How?”
Game Master: “I have [a disease known for causing complications with libido] so it’s bigotted of you to refuse to entertain me!”
Me: “Did… Did you ever think that I’d be interested in you? Did you forget we met through my wife? My wife, you know, who is sitting on my left side and is playing this game with us, right now? With everybody around us? With your own actual bias against gay people?”
Game Master: “Lesbians don’t count. And you’re a woman.”
Male Player: *Gasp* “Dude, what the heck?! Can’t you get the hint and stop?! I thought that interfering to play Gun-Mon might make you snap out of it. Just drop it.”
Me: *Sigh* “Good thing I’m not lesbian or a woman, then. Sorry, [Male Player]. I think I’m gonna call it for the night. You can take my character sheet for now. Just don’t let me get killed if you keep playing tonight.”
My wife and I left as other players started arguing with the Game Master on our behalf. I didn’t go back to play again, but I found out that most of the other players stopped that night, too. It came out that the Game Master was sending inappropriate pictures to the actual lesbian in the group, so the entire game ended. After that, I only got messages from the Game Master when he wanted to talk about his physical “needs,” until I blocked him. Sadly, I haven’t gotten a chance to play since then.
Oh, and if my old group recognizes all this, I hope the Game Master has gotten the help he needs to recognize how wrong his behavior was!
