Kosher Klash

, , , , , | Right | May 25, 2010

Customer: “Could I have a hot dog?”

Me: “Sure, would you like any toppings?”

Customer: “Cheese, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a Kosher deli and as per our religious belief, we cannot serve cheese with certain kinds of meat.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not Kosher, so I want cheese on my hot dog.”

Me: “Well, even if I was permitted to serve that, which I’m not, we do not have any cheese which would be suitable for melting onto the hot dog.”

Customer: “Well, fine, then I’ll take my business elsewhere! I’m not going to stand here and be discriminated against! You Kosher people should just go back to… Kosheria or wherever it is you come from!”

1 Thumbs
4,407

Not So Beautiful Mind

, , , , , | Right | May 24, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book based off a movie. Life is Beautiful, I think?”

Me: “I don’t believe Life is Beautiful” was originally a book. Are you perhaps thinking of A Beautiful Mind?”

Customer: “Yes! Yes that’s the one! Get me that one! It’s the one about World War II. And the guy is burned. And there’s a French Nurse. That’s the book I want!”

Me: “That actually sounds like The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje. I can grab a copy of that for you!”

Customer: “Yes! The English Patient. That sounds right. But Michael Ondaatje, that sounds like a foreign name. No, The English Patient wasn’t written by a foreigner. Do you have a copy that wasn’t written by Ondaatje? I want that story, but I want it written by a Canadian.”

Me: “So you want a copy of The English Patient that is not written by Michael Ondaatje?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s what I want. Do you have any copies of that story written by Margaret Atwood? I do like her.”

Me: “No. I really don’t think we do.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you think any of your other stores might?”

Me: “I doubt it, ma’am.”

1 Thumbs
3,108

Doesn’t Know Their A(merican)B(orn)C(hinese)’s

, , , | Right | January 15, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Chinese Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like an order for delivery.”

Me: “Okay, if you’ll just give me your–”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Is this a real Chinese restaurant?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’ve just never heard anyone talk like you at a Chinese restaurant. I’m just making sure Americans aren’t cooking my Chinese food!”


This story was included in our Chinese Restaurant Roundup.

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,316

The Land Of Milk And Money

, , , | Right | November 23, 2009

(I am working at a packing house, cutting checks for local dairy farmers who sell us one or two cows at a time. They are given a scale ticket in the barn, which I use to cut a check.)

Me: “Hi, can I have your scale ticket?”

Farmer: “I’d like him to help me.” *points at a USDA associate*

Me: “Sorry, sir, but he doesn’t work for us. He works for the USDA.”

Farmer: “Well, I’d like you to find a MAN who can cut me a check for my cows.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but none of the men that work here know how to cut checks. All our office staff members are women.”

Farmer: “Don’t lie, you little hussy! Only men can run a business! You go back to making coffee!”

Me: “Sir, you run a dairy farm, correct?”

Farmer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you make money from the milk you sell?”

Farmer: “That’s how a dairy farm works, sweetheart. Now get me a–”

Me: “So, basically, milk is money to you?”

Farmer: “Yes. Now get me a–”

Me: “And does the milk come from male cattle?”

Farmer: “Ha ha! NO!”

Me: *pointed look*

Farmer: *hands me the scale ticket*


Did you find this story using our World Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get to the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
11,526

Dr. Jekyll And Mrs. Hyde, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2009

(I’m ringing up a sweater for a customer at the till.]

Customer: “This isn’t for me. It’s for that homeless guy across the street.”

Me: “That’s very kind of you, ma’am.”

Customer: “I know! It’s important to give back to the less fortunate.”

(As I’m finishing with the transaction, she glances around the store.)

Customer: “Wow, it’s pretty dead in here.”

Me: “Yeah, we get a slow day every now and again.”

Customer: “Well, I know that. I figured there would be a lot of people cashing their welfare cheques today.”

(I’m not sure what to say to that, so I finish the transaction. As I’m putting the sweater in the bag with the rest of her items…)

Customer: “Woah! Put that in a different bag, please. I don’t want that bum’s sweater touching my stuff!”

 

1 Thumbs
2,152