Peppered With Requests For Water

, , , , , | Working | September 28, 2017

(I and my two friends go out to eat after work. [Friend #1] was born in Peru, but was adopted as an infant by her white mother and as such, has no connection to South American culture. This means she has a very low tolerance for spicy food. We are eating, and [Friend #1] realizes she just ate a jalapeño accidentally. We flag down our server to ask for some water.)

Server: *with three glasses of water* “Wait, why do you need water?”

Friend #2: “Please, she just had too much spice.”

Server: *while still holding the water away from the table* “But, she doesn’t need water. Why do you need water? Aren’t you Spanish or something?”

Me: “Please, just give her the water. She is not Spanish, and that doesn’t matter anyway.”

Server: “But I don’t get it; why can’t she eat spicy stuff?”

(We looked at each other and glared at her until she gave our friend her water.)

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Potty Training Isn’t The Only Training Required Around Here

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2017

(I am buying baby supplies.)

Cashier: “Wipes, diapers, powder. What does a man need all this for?”

Me: “My daughter isn’t old enough to be potty trained yet.”

Cashier: “Surely it’s a wife’s job to handle the baby. Where’s your wife? Why aren’t you working?”

Me: “He’s at home with our daughter, and I’m on paternity leave.”

Cashier: “He? Your wife is a HE?!”

Me: “My husband is a he.”

(The cashier practically jumped away from me, sneering, and crossed her heart. She then refused to sell me anything, and I asked for a manager. When he came, she spoke directly to him, completely ignoring my existence. After she was finished, the manager “queer high-fived” me and gave me an employee discount. The cashier looked like she was about to collapse and asked to be excused. When I dropped by a few weeks, I was told she decided to leave due to a “conflict of interest”.)

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Transitioning Away From Toxic People

, , , , , | Friendly | September 18, 2017

(I’m at a gay bar with some friends, and we’re talking to some people we’ve never met before. I’m a trans guy.)

Girl #1: “Who do we have here? [Friend #1], [Friend #2], and…” *points to me*

Me: “[My Name].”

Girl #2: “That’s a guy’s name.”

Me: “Yeah… I’m a guy. I’m trans.”

Girl #2: “That’s stupid.”

Me: “What?”

Girl #2: “You’re not trans. You’re just gay and can’t admit it, because you’ve been raised in such a homophobic world. Just admit your love for women as a lesbian.”

Me: “Uh… I’m queer. I like people: men, women, whatever. I’m not ashamed of that.”

Girl #2: “Pfft, whatever. Call me when this trans thing is over; you’re cute.”

(My friends and I are speechless as the girl leaves. The first girl watches her leave and turns to us.)

Girl #1: “So, she’s dead to me. Shall I buy the next round?”

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You Couldn’t Service-Write This Even If You Tried

, , , | Right | September 12, 2017

(I work at an auto and diesel repair shop, and I happen to be a young female. I write estimates, talk to customers, order parts, etc…)

Me: “[Shop]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a quote on my truck.”

Me: “Sure, what kind of truck?”

Customer: “Are you the service writer?”

Me: “I am.”

Customer: “Are you the only service writer? No men?”

Me: “Just me. [Old Male Coworker] left a year ago.”

Customer: “Can I talk to anyone else?”

Me: “Sure. Hang on just a minute.”

(Transfers phone to one of the owners, who is an office manager.)

Owner: “Hi, this is Jane!”

(This happens about once a month.)

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Some People Make You Need Gene Therapy

, , , , , | Working | September 11, 2017

(A coworker comes up to my desk to drop off some paperwork. He notices a photo on my desk. I am white.)

Coworker: “Who’s this?”

Me: “My son.”

Coworker: “Your son is black?”

Me: “He’s adopted.”

Coworker: “Oh. I think it’s great that gay couples can adopt.”

Me: “Yeah, it certainly makes us happy.”

Coworker: “It stops you contributing to the gene pool.” *walks away*

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