Do I Have Some (Re)Tale To Tell You

, , , , | Right | April 26, 2018

(My friend has recently returned to the UK after a holiday in Benidorm. It’s a notoriously popular holiday destination for Brits. We are both English.)

Me: “How was your holiday?”

Friend: “It was okay. I spent most of the time travelling away from Benidorm to other places. That place was horrible! The people were awful all the time! I felt so bad for the Spanish staff, since they were all really lovely. They must hate us. You’d walk down the street and there’s these English people sat outside all the pubs, off their heads. And they were really rude, too, really aggressive. This one bloke heard he wasn’t getting any more free drinks, and he smashed up the hotel bar. The things he was shouting at that poor bartender made me blush. I felt so ashamed to be British.”

Me: “Didn’t you expect it at all?”

Friend: “Well… you hear the stories. But I never believed it until I saw it with my own eyes.”

(I don’t think she’s ever worked in retail. It’s surprising how few people understand how bad customers can be… until they actually see it.)

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Unfiltered Story #106358

, | Unfiltered | February 27, 2018

(When I was 11, me and my family went on holiday. Me and my younger brother were swimming in the hotel pool and I decided to go to the deep end. I hear a voice behind me)

Brother: It’s too deep!

(My brother had followed me into the deep end. He couldn’t swim yet. He jumps on top of me, pushing me underwater. I try to pull myself back up to the surface, only to be pushed down again. This continues for about half a minute, until a lady pulls us both out of the pool. My mum comes running up)

Mum: Oh, thank god! I would have never gotten to them on time!

Lady: It’s fine, you don’t need to thank me… Hold on, where are the lifeguards?!

(We all look to the side to see two lifeguards having a chat, completely oblivious to anything that had just happened. The hotel got a very angry complaint from my mum)

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