Wants A Wait Rebate

, , , , , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(As part of our checkout process, we’re required to ask if the customer is a member of our loyalty program. This particular customer says she is, but hasn’t shopped with us in years; I try to look up her old account but can’t find it, so she decides to just get a new account. I take all the necessary information and create the new account for her, then mention that I can give her a 10% discount for signing up with us.)

Customer: “Oh, well, in that case, there was one other item I was considering buying. Can I go grab it really quick?”

Me: “Sure, no problem!”

(She steps away from the registers, and because we’ve been quite busy all day and there’s a long line of customers behind her, I put a suspend on her transaction, set her items aside, and help the next person in line. By the time I finish that transaction, the original customer has returned, and is called up by my manager, who is on the register next to mine.)

Customer: *pointing to me* “She was helping me; I don’t know what happened….”

Me: *gathering her items from where I’d set them aside* “I just put a suspend on the order, but I can finish it up for you now!”

(Up until this point the customer has been perfectly civil, but now all of a sudden she explodes.)

Customer: “I stepped away for TWO SECONDS!”

Manager: *clearly as shocked by the sudden outburst as I am* “I… I’m sorry ma’am, but there’s a line—”

Customer: *still very belligerent* “No, it’s fine; I don’t need an explanation.”

(Meanwhile I’ve resumed the transaction, but I am distracted enough by the customer’s outburst that I miss one item, and only notice that I didn’t scan it after she’s paid for the rest of her items. So, bracing for another outburst, I apologize and start a new transaction for the last item, and do an override to give her the 10% discount, even though this is technically no longer her first transaction after opening a loyalty account. Because it was my mistake — and because I know she’ll blow up at me if I don’t — I give her the discount. She glares at me through this whole second transaction, but I get through it and hand her her bag and receipt.)

Me: “Okay, you’re all set. Have a nice day!”

(At this point she just takes her bag and stays standing at the register, still glaring at me.)

Me: “Um… Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *in the most snarky tone imaginable* “Well, I thought you might say, ‘Thank you,’ since I did spend my money here, and you did make me wait.”

(And then, while I struggled to come up with a response that wouldn’t get me fired on the spot, she turned and walked away. I had to step into the back for a minute until I could stop shaking with rage.)

Pre-Foetal Applications

, , , , | Friendly | October 3, 2017

(One of the women who works in my office is known for not being too bright. She is nice enough, but the ignorance gets to be too much to bear sometimes. She is about six months pregnant when the following conversation happens.)

Pregnant Coworker: “I’m going to take a trip with my daughter to the east coast, to Harvard and Yale, to show her around, so she can see what it takes to be successful.”

Coworker #2: “You mean when she’s older, right?”

Pregnant Coworker: “What? No! Haha! I was planning on going during my maternity leave.”

(Everyone was speechless and didn’t say another word about it.)

A Weird Beard Exchange

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 22, 2017

I regularly played guitar on Sunday mornings with the music team at my church, and had for many years at the time of this story.

This particular Sunday was during a period where I was in between jobs, and I had let my beard grow out for a couple months due to laziness, and a little curiosity.

An old lady that I recognized, but had never talked to before, came up to me after service. “Excuse me,” she said, “I was looking at you during worship today, and I was just thinking that you used to be such an attractive young man. I just wish you’d take better care of yourself.”

To this day, that has been the only exchange between that woman and me.

The Phone Is On But Nobody’s Home

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2017

(A customer comes up to my till, places her items on the counter, and immediately takes out her phone.)

Me: “Who was helping you pick your items out today?”

(I work at a boutique that gives employees bonuses based on the sales they make. Thus, I need to know who was helping each customer so I can enter it into the register.)

Customer: *doesn’t react*

Me: *a little louder* “Was anyone helping you pick out your items today?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, no, I didn’t even try them on. I’m in a big hurry.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

(I’m relatively new to the job, and still trying to get the hang of the cashiering process, but hearing that she’s in a hurry, I do my best to get her checked out quickly. However:)

Me: “May I have your phone number so you can get your membership discount?”

Customer: *no reaction, still looking at her phone*

Me: “Ma’am, what’s your phone number?”

Customer: “Hm? Oh, it’s [Number]”

(This continued for the entire rest of the transaction. She’d immediately go back to her phone after answering my questions, and she was so absorbed in whatever she was doing that I’d have to ask twice. Every. Single. Time. This effectively doubled the time she spent at the register. Pro tip: if you’re in a “big hurry,” maybe pay enough attention to the transaction that I can actually get you out quickly?)