Weighing The Ways

, , , , , | Working | August 21, 2018

(I overhear this exchange between two coworkers as I’m in the back room, processing freight:)

Coworker #1: “I think it goes this way.”

Coworker #2: “I agree.”

Coworker #1: *joking* “Well, then, I think it goes the other way, just to be contrary.”

Coworker #2: “You’re probably right; whatever way you said it was that goes that way, I think it goes the other way.”

Coworker #1: “Right, well, as long as we know which way we’re talking about.”

Coworker #2: “We definitely don’t.”

(It’s moments like these that help break up the monotony of a long day of unpacking boxes. I never did find out exactly what they were talking about.)

Unfiltered Story #116532

, , | Unfiltered | July 21, 2018

(I am the customer in this scenario. I’ve gone to get a burger with my brother. He orders first, then I go up to the counter)

Me: Hi there. I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger and a rootbeer milkshake, please.

Cashier: Alright, that’ll be $9.26.

Me: Ok…

(I hand him my loyalty card, one of those “free burger for every ten purchases” sort of things. Every day there is a trivia question that gets you an extra stamp. I answer the question.)

Me: Dr. Pepper was invented first, right?

Cashier: That’s right!
*he stamps the card and hands it back*

Me: Oh, where’s your bathroom?

*He tells me and I thank him and promptly go off to use it, then go to sit down with my brother and am in the middle of a conversation when the cashier approaches us*

Cashier: Sir, you need to pay.

*I had completely forgotten! I sheepishly go back to the register and joke about how I must have REALLY needed to go. Fortunately I still get my food at the same time as my brother*

Me, to brother: This is going on Not Always Right.

A Premium Reason To Quit

, , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2018

(There’s nothing I love more than getting yelled at by crazy old men for things that A) aren’t my fault, B) I can’t change, and C) have been this way since before I was born. Most gas stations, if you haven’t noticed, charge a bit of a premium for credit card use. This is because the banks themselves charge us for when people use credit cards; the premium helps to defray some of that cost. This premium has been in place for decades now, and 99% of gas stations have that premium. Those that don’t make up for it by just setting their prices higher. This somehow didn’t make it through to the geezer who runs up to my window, brandishing his receipt like it’s one of Wonka’s golden tickets.)

Customer: “YOU CHANGE PRICE! Say $2.31! Why change?! YOU CHANGE!”

Me: “Sir, $2.31 is the credit card price. $2.21 is the cash price listed on the sign.”

Customer: “WHERE SAY?”

Me: “On every pump, sir. The credit card price is listed there.”

Customer: “No, it wasn’t! Show me!”

(I lead him to a pump and point.)

Me: “Right there, sir. Every pump lists the credit price.”


(By this time, I’m a bit fed up.)

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Can I help you with anything else?”

(Kill them with kindness, right? With a huff, he let out a final “F*** YOU,” jumped in his van, and peeled out of the parking lot at something like 40 miles an hour. I have to say, I wish him luck. We’re the cheapest gas station for three miles, and every other gas station in the county has the same premium.)

If They Complain, It’s Your Neck

, , , , , | Working | May 2, 2018

(I buy a necklace from the store where I work, and only notice after I take it home that there is a bead missing. I wouldn’t normally mind, except I’m planning to wear the necklace to work. Since my store is a little bit higher-end, we are supposed to be conscious of our appearance, so I don’t think it would be appropriate to wear a necklace with a piece missing. As such, I take it in the next day and stop by the registers to exchange it for an intact necklace. My manager processes the exchange, and I assume she’s going to damage out the old one, as that is normally our process with jewelry that is missing a part. However, instead, she simply takes the old necklace and puts it back out on the display alongside the other intact jewelry.)

Manager: “Maybe no one will notice.”

(I chose not to argue, but I know our clientele is definitely the kind of people who would notice, and who would potentially make a fuss. I never did hear anything more about it, though, so maybe we lucked out and whoever bought the broken necklace really didn’t notice that anything was wrong.)

My Mission Is Not Commission

, , , , , | Working | April 18, 2018

(I am unemployed and on a job hunt. I get an unsolicited phone call from a woman representing a company I’ve never heard of.)

Woman: “Hello, is this [My Name]?”

Me: “It is.”

Woman: “I’m from [Unfamiliar Company]. We received your resume and we think you’re a perfect fit for someone who wants to build their business and progress into management.”

Me: “What does your company do, exactly?”

(She gives some vague business blabber about building management skills, establishing connections, and, “building your business,” etc. My background is not in anything entrepreneurial, and my resume is focused on describing my skills within disciplines that aren’t easily confused with “management” or “building a business.”)

Me: “What was it on my resume specifically that demonstrates to you my managerial skills?”

Woman: “We have a vendor partner that sorts through the resumes for us, and I actually don’t have your resume in front of me right now. However, since they selected you, I’m sure it’s because of your background in management and your past successes at building business. Could you make it in tomorrow at 11 o’clock for an interview?”

(Obviously, I don’t think this is going anywhere worthwhile, nor necessarily above-board, but I’m also on unemployment benefits which not only require me to have a certain number of job contacts weekly, but forbid me from declining or skipping interviews, etc.)

Me: “Tomorrow at 11? Fine.”

Woman: “Great! I’ll send an email to [my email on my resume] with the address, directions, and instructions. Bring a copy of your resume with you!”

(I get the email and start digging online a little. I find that it’s a real company but that the nature of their business is odd; you work on 100% commission by going business-to-business selling third-party manufactured office supplies — cold sales. I find lots of very bad reviews online about their conduct to employees, and lots of cult-like rants from a few other people defending the company and the owner. I notice that the email specifies that I “must dress formally” for the interview. I read that their “interview” is actually a sales pitch about “building a business,” I assume through commission sales, and involves no questions or discussion. But the most important thing that I notice is the address of their office: it’s a building I used to work in years prior. My company at the time had to change locations because the place caught on fire, and I’ve not been back since heading home the day it happened. I am interested in seeing my old workplace again. Suddenly, I’m excited about my upcoming morning. I arrive at the office building the next day at 10:55 am, wearing jeans and a punk rock t-shirt, quite on purpose. I head into the building at the same time as a guy who looks like he’s 19 years old, wearing a suit three sizes too large, carrying a manila folder. The company’s office turns out to be part of my old CEO and his assistant’s offices. I walk in and see the guy I saw outside and two other similarly-aged and similarly-dressed young men sitting awkwardly in chairs filling out paperwork on clip boards. Directly ahead of me is a woman who’s probably in her late 20s — a few years younger than me. Behind her, I can see through the glass door into a room where there are about six to eight more young men in too-large business suits taking notes and listening to a guy in his late 20s lecture about something I can’t quite make out. I recognize the voice of the woman at the desk as the woman I spoke with the day before.)

Woman: “Can I help you, sir?”

Me: *big, happy smile* “Yes! I’m [My Name]. I’m here for an interview?”

(YET ANOTHER awkwardly-dressed young man walks in behind me as I’m talking.)

Woman: *to other guy* “Can I help you, sir?”

Guy: “Yeah, I’m [Guy]. I’m here for an interview?”

Woman: “Certainly. Go ahead and fill out this paperwork and return it to me when you’re done, and we’ll have you in the next group.” *turning back to me* “[My Name], would you come with me?”

(I follow her through a short but winding hallway. The whole time I’m looking in every direction, trying to put together where what the parts of my old office were. She leads me into a small office and is suddenly very stern with me.)

Woman: “[My Name], did you not read the email I sent you yesterday with the information for the interview about formal dress?”

Me: *playing dumb* “Oh, really? I’m sorry. I missed that. Well… I’m here, though?”

Woman: “We are interested in helping people build their business and advance to management, and we expect people to dress the part. We have another interview scheduled this afternoon, so you can go home and put on something more appropriate and be back for that.”

Me: “Hmm, yeah… I have other things arranged for this afternoon.”

Woman: “Well, check your schedule to see when you have more openings this week or next week, and I’ll see if we can line up. Drive safe.”

(She escorted me out of the suite and closed the door behind me. Of course, I didn’t call them back, and they never contacted me again. A year or so later I remembered all this and looked that company up again. They’d changed their name, moved locations, and had several former employees complaining about unpaid commissions.)

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