Named And Shamed

| Frisco, TX, USA | Right | July 26, 2016

(A woman comes up to my register who is paying very close attention to her phone.)

Me: “Hi! Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Guest: “Just scan my stuff.”

Me: “All right.” *gets to the end of scanning* “I do have a spare coupon if you would like to save $3.50.”

Guest: “No.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have a club card?”

Guest: *puts down phone* “I said no. Is there a problem with that? I don’t want you taking coupons off my club card account. I want to save it.”

Me: “I haven’t pulled up your account. I was offering you to use mine.”

Guest: “Well, your communication was poor. You need to work on that.”

Me: *just wanting the transaction to be over* “All right, do you have a club card?”

Guest: “What’s your name?”

Me: “It’s [My Name].”

Guest: “Is it [My Name], or is it really [longer version of name]?”

Me: “Just [My Name].”

Guest: “So your parents didn’t love you enough to give you a real name? I bet they didn’t really want you.”

Me: “My full first name is [very long Welsh name]. I just go by [My Name] because it’s easier to pronounce.”

Guest: “So now you’re saying MY parents didn’t love ME? My name is [Guest]!”

Me: *frantically pushing silent call button under counter* “I’m not saying that at all. Do you have your club card on you, or would you like me to look it up?

Guest: “It’s [phone number].”

Me: *finishing transaction and handing her the receipt and bag* “Thank you. Have a great day.”

Guest: “I hope your day only gets worse from here. I hope you quit! I don’t want to see you in here when I come back!”

Tote-ally Wrong

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Working | June 10, 2015

(I got an email from a well-known beauty supply chain about a new color safe shampoo from the brand of hair dye that I like to buy. I decide to go in and check it out. As I’m looking at the shampoo, I notice a promotion with that brand for a free tote bag when you buy three products. I decide to pick up some more dye while I’m at it so I can get the tote, but one of the colors I want isn’t on the shelf. I had been in the store and looking around for a good ten minutes by this point, and had not seen a single employee.)

Me: “Hello? Is anyone even in here?”

Employee: *emerges from the back* “What?”

Me: “Um… I was wondering, is all of your stock out on the shelf? The color I’m looking for is out?”

Employee: *comes over to me* “What color?”

Me: “The purple.”

Employee: *looks at the shelf* “It’s out.”

Me: “Do you keep any in the back?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Okay, thanks.”

Employee: *nods and starts to walk away, then notices the promotional sign* “Oh, yeah, if you buy three products from this brand you get a free tote.”

Me: “Thank you. I think I’m ready to check out.”

Employee: *groans and trudges to the register*

(As I follow her, I notice a display I missed on my way to the store. Low and behold, the color I wanted is sitting right there. I grab two boxes and head up to the register.)

Employee: *rings me up in silence* “[Total].”

Me: *hands her my beauty club card and a 15% off coupon*

Employee: *grumbles and rings up the discount* “[New total].”

Me: *hands her my card* “And the free tote?”

Employee: “What?”

Me: “The free tote. For buying three [Brand] products.”

Employee: “Oh, we’re out of those. They only sent us like five.”

Me: *blinks* “…but you told me about the promotion.”

Employee Yeah… and?”

Me: “And I want my free tote. That’s the only reason I’m buying three products in the first place. I only came in for the shampoo, but I bought the dye because of the promotion.”

Employee: *quickly swipes my card and processes the transaction so if I wanted to take the dye off it would have to be a return* “Well, we ran out. And we’re not getting anymore.” *hands me my card, my bag, and my receipt* “Have a nice day.”

(Sadly, this kind of customer service is standard for them! If it wasn’t the only place in town I could buy that brand, I would never go back!)

Providing Unique Lip Service

| Longmont, CO, USA | Right | April 27, 2015

(I work at a large store that sells nothing but beauty items for women.)

Customer: “I have a very weird question for you.”

Me: “Yay! Those are my favorite kind of questions!”

Customer: “I need very small, very sharp scissors.”

Me: “Well, that’s not weird at all. Let me show you where our cuticle and nail scissors are; that’s exactly what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “I haven’t told you what I need them for. I need to cut the lips off my fish.”

(I stop dead in my tracks, thinking I couldn’t possibly have heard her correctly. I give her a puzzled look.)

Customer: “That’s right. I need tiny scissors to cut the lips off my fish.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I have an Angel fish with a large pucker, and she’s my pride and joy. She developed a cancerous growth on her lips. The vet wants an outrageous amount of money to remove it. He said if I wanted, and was brave enough, I could cut off her lips myself.”

(I try to keep my composure, relay my sympathy, and show her the selection of tiny scissors. She makes her decision, and I take her to the register.)

Me: “I wish you luck with your fish!”

Customer: “Thank you, I need it. By the way, do you happen to know a close-by liquor store? I don’t usually drink, but I may need a glass of wine before my adventure!”

(Luckily there was a liquor store nearby. I thanked her for asking the weirdest question I have ever heard in my many years in retail. She laughed and said no one was going to believe me. I hope her fish is okay!)

She Let It Get To Her Head

| Columbus, OH, USA | Right | March 14, 2013

(A customer comes to the counter with an expensive hair treatment.)

Customer: “Excuse me, this appears to be used. Do you have any others?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just finished putting our stock away. If that was the last one on the shelf, then it’s the last one we have.”

Customer: “Well, I suppose I’ll get it anyway. I’ve never tried it before, but I pumped some out and it does feel very nice.”

Me: “Ma’am, were you the one that opened and used it?”

Customer: “Yes, but I had to see what it was like before I spent all this money on it! Now, are you sure there aren’t any more in the back? I really don’t want to buy something that’s been used!”

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Intelligence May Vary

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Right | December 24, 2011

Customer: “How much are the belly-button rings?”

Me: “The prices vary depending on the style. I’d have to check if you’re interested in a specific one.”

(The girl walks over to her mom in an aisle within earshot.)

Mom: “How much are they?”

Customer: “She said they vary.”

Mom: “What is that supposed to mean? That I can’t afford them?!”