Uni-eed A New Job

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Working | September 19, 2012

(I’m getting ready for my first high school prom. I am therefore very excited when I go to get my eyebrows waxed. Note: I have red hair and VERY fair skin, so my brown eyebrows look darker and longer than they are by comparison.)

Me: “Hello! I have an appointment to get my eyebrows done.”

Stylist: “Oh, lord! ”

(I assume she’s talking about my skin, so I just smile, a bit confused.)

Stylist: “Well, come on! I have to make you look pretty!”

(She proceeds to be very rough with me, groaning the whole time. She then gets distracted talking to a coworker and spills a fair amount of hot wax on me.)

Me: “Ow! That really hurt!”

Stylist: “Well, that’s not my fault!”

Me: “You spilled wax on me! How is it not your fault?”

Stylist: “I was distracted by your giant unibrow!”

At Least We Know Her Natural Color

| New Hampshire, USA | Right | June 26, 2012

(One of our stylists has just been fired, so one of her clients books with me for the first time. She is approximately 65 years old and uses a walker.)

Me: “Hi! I’m [name], I’ll be taking care of you for your color today!”

Client: “Hi, sweetie. Sorry, I’m a little slow. I just had a hip replacement.”

(She stops dead in the middle of the busy salon, and without warning pulls down her pants. Apparently, she chose to go commando that day.)

Client: “Look at this scar they gave me! It’s only a few months old.”

Me: “Oh, that looks…uh…terrible. Why don’t you just have a seat and I’ll show you some color options…”

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Two And A Half Customers

| San Jose, CA, USA | Right | May 3, 2012

(Our salon requires a credit card hold for parties of three or more to discourage last-minute cancellations. It doesn’t matter how old the customers are. Whether they are 3-year-olds or 80-year-olds, we still reserve a spot for them regardless. We have a lot of customers who try to get around the credit card rule.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [salon], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I wanted to make appointments for two people today.”

Me: “Sure, what kind of services would you like?”

Caller: “Two pedicures.”

(I book the appointments, confirm with the caller, and am about to end the call.)

Caller: “I also wanted to bring my daughter in for a kid’s pedi.”

Me: “Oh okay, so you’re actually booking for three people?”

Caller: *sounding annoyed* “Does she even count? She’s just a kid.”

Me: “Yes, she does. She’s still a person.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous!”

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Take It Or Leave It

| Canada | Right | February 28, 2012

(When I do nails, I am required to ask the customer if they like the nail design after doing the first nail before moving onto the rest. This particular customer says she is satisfied. However, when I’m about to finish the last one, she complains.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is just so ugly. I can’t believe you’re making me pay for this. I refuse to pay for something so ugly.”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked you if you were okay with the design after I attached the first. Why didn’t you say that you didn’t like it then?”

Customer: “Well, I thought I would like it once they were all on, but this is just too hideous!”

Store owner: *walks over and starts removing the fake nails*

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Store owner: “You said you didn’t like it and that you refuse to pay for it. We can’t let you walk out of the store with something you didn’t pay for.”

Customer: “I was just joking! I was going to pay for it! I’ll pay for it!”

Store owner: “No. You said you didn’t like it and that you thought it was hideous. We can’t let you leave the store with something we can’t be proud of.”

(The store owner was completely serious: she removed every single one of the fake nails I attached before the customer could leave.)

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Gravity, The Universal Mood Killer, Part 2

| Germany | Right | February 10, 2012

(I’m a customer, and overhear an elderly gentleman and the hairdresser who is cutting his hair. The gentleman’s wife is present, too.)

Hairdresser: “Do you want me to take off any more on the top of your head?”

Customer: “Yes, yes, go ahead!”

Hairdresser: “All right, but if I cut it any shorter, the hair up there will be standing on end.”

Customer’s wife: “Well, at least something will still be standing erect, then.”

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