(Whilst on holiday, my husband of 12 years and I opt for a stroll on the beach. The sun is setting, the weather is perfect, the setting could not be more romantic.)
Me: *spots something in the sand, probably a beached jellyfish* “Ew, squishy. What
do you think it is?”
Husband: “I don’t know. Poke it with a stick.”
Me: *produces stick* “Way ahead of you there, darling.” *pokes*
Husband: *sighs* “I am an enabler.”
(My boyfriend and I are stuck in a traffic jam leaving a popular beach. The line isn’t moving at all, and we both need to relieve our bladders. He jokes about running down to the ocean to do so before the line moves.)
Me: “But, that’s where they keep the sharks!”
Boyfriend: “In the water?”
Me: “Yeah. In the ocean.”
Boyfriend: “That’s a good place to keep them. It’d be scary if they kept them downtown.”
Me: “That wouldn’t be scary. They’d be dead because they’re fish and they wouldn’t be able to breathe.”
Boyfriend: “But, what if they had helmets with water?”
Me: “They still wouldn’t be able to walk.”
Boyfriend: “But they could roll towards you! They’d still have teeth!”
Me: “How would they bite you with the helmets on?”
Boyfriend: “…I think you win this one.”
(I’m on a beach with my 6-year-old brother, who plays nearby. At some point, I hear him scream in frustration.)
Brother: “Argh!”
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Brother: “I’m putting hot stones on my head! Why isn’t my hair on fire yet?”
(My boyfriend and I are both huge biology nerds. We’re at the beach.)
Me: “Oh, look a jellyfish. I hope I don’t get stung.”
Boyfriend: “Well, if you do, don’t rinse it off in fresh water. It’ll cause the nematocysts (stinging cells) to discharge and sting you more.”
Me: “Of course not, it’s the change in pH that they sense, right?”
Boyfriend: “Right. Your best bet would be to just let it dry out.”
Me: “That reminds me, which phyla is your favorite?”
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(My boyfriend is a chemistry major at the local university and I am a physics major at the same school. We are laying on the beach one night after a long day of studying for finals.)
Boyfriend: “Such a beautiful night.”
Me: “Not really…you can’t see any stars. It’s too cloudy.”
Boyfriend: *looking at me* “I’m looking at one right now.”
Me: *outraged* “I am not a ball of gas!”
Boyfriend: “No, but you do destroy half the universe when you explode.”
