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If You Don’t Listen You Can Go Swim With The Fishes

, | England, UK | Money, Pets & Animals, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(We decide to have a day at the beach with our children. They are both being so well behaved we decide to go to the Sea Life Centre despite it being known as an expensive attraction.)

Customer: “How much are tickets?”

Cashier: “All prices are on the board to your left, but I can see that there are three of you so that would be £41. However, if you—”

Customer: “What?! That is ridiculous! How can you charge so much?”

Cashier: “Well, we operate a sea life hospital. Part of the ticket price goes to helping injured animals and releasing them back to the wild.”

Customer: “I am not paying that! Come on, we are leaving. What a rip off!”

Me: “Er… four, please.”

Cashier: “Great, thank you, that will be £55. But if you head over to the supermarket they will give you 40% off.”

Me: “Great! Thank you!”

(I dash over to the supermarket and pick up a voucher, I see the family still outside when I return but they are too busy shouting at each other to let me offer them a voucher. We ended up having a great time.)

No Sting In This Tale, Part 2

| FL, USA | Uncategorized

Beach Patron: “Excuse me, are these blue jelly things on the beach dangerous?”

Me: “Yes sir, they are in fact Portuguese Man-o-War. They are extremely painful and can still sting you while on land.”

Beach Patron: “They can’t walk, can they?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Beach Patron: “Meaning they can’t walk on land and chase you?”

Me: “No sir, they only live in water.”

Beach Patron: “I feel much safer. Thank you.”

Related:
No Sting In This Tale

Repetition Is The Mother Of Stupidity

| Cornwall, UK | Uncategorized

(I am serving ice cream on the beach.)

Me: “Hello, what would you like?”

Customer: “Have you got any icecream icecream?”

Me: “No, but we do have icecream icecream icecream.”

Customer: “Oh, really? That’s exactly what I was looking for!”

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

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