Unfiltered Story #92625

, , , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2017

(This was relayed to me by my roommate, who works in the deli of a store.)

Customer: “Hi, I want some sandwich meat, but I’m on a diet so I can’t have anything with too much salt.”

Roommate: “Well, our beef has no added salt, so that should work for you.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m lactose intolerant. Unless your beef only comes from boy cows?”

Unfiltered Story #92611

, , , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2017

A couple with a five- or six-year old daughter is browsing in my bookstore. After checking out the children’s books for a bit, the girl comes up to my desk.

Girl: I like your music. It’s catchy.

(This may have been the first time the Beethoven String Quartets were described as “catchy”, but you have great taste, little girl!)

Unfiltered Story #91904

, , , | Unfiltered | August 20, 2017

Customer: “You sure have a lot of books in here!”
Me: “Yes, I was thinking about selling some…”
Customer: “Have you read all these books?”
Customer (an 80-ish woman): “What do you like to read?”
Me (43, male): “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Unfiltered Story #91902

, , , | Unfiltered | August 20, 2017

Customer: “How much are your books?”
Me: “All of them? Well, today only I will give you a deal – say $250,000?”

Unfiltered Story #91900

, , , | Unfiltered | August 20, 2017

Customer: “Are your books shelved by author or title?”
Me: “Well, if they were by title, we’d have a massive ‘The’ section, wouldn’t we?”
Customer: “So, author then – first name or last name???”
Me: “……last name.”

Customer: “Where is the historical fiction?”
Me: “All fiction is historical – except perhaps science fiction.”


Customer: “I looked for a Clive Cussler title and the one I wanted wasn’t there. Would they be anywhere else?”
Me: “Like, did I put some in with Tom Clancy?”