Unfiltered Story #155101

, , , | Unfiltered | June 18, 2019

(I work at a store headquartered in Denver, but we are similar to another store, which is headquartered in France. I am the manager on duty when a man with long dark hair and dark sunglasses walks in wearing a black trench coat. He’s throwing off enough odd vibes that the other employees go into the back room while I approach him. During our conversation he continually shifts his eyes to the back room.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [store]. Can I help you find anything?”
Customer: “Yes, I am looking to purchase some of those round balls you use in the bath tub.”
Me: “Oh, you mean bath bombs. I’m sorry, we don’t carry those here.”
Customer: “Nonsense! I’ve been to your stores in France, and have purchased them before.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s impossible. We only have stores in Colorado.”
Customer: “Don’t be ridiculous. I was just there last month. Now, show me the items I wish to purchase.”
Me: “Sir, we don’t sell those items here. We do not have any stores outside of Colorado, much less outside of the country.”
Customer: “Now you’re just being obstinate. I’ve been to your stores in France, and I know what you sell or do not sell. I demand to speak to your manager.”
Me: “I am the manager on duty, sir. And I’m sorry, but I do know what we sell or don’t sell here. If you’d like to purchase any other items that we have in the store, I’d be happy to assist you.”
Customer: “Well this is just unheard of. I cannot believe this service.”

The customer proceeds to pull out a wallet from his purse, and he shakes it at me, then turns and shakes it at the back room.

Customer: “You won’t be seeing any of this money today. This is not the last you’ve heard from me! I’ll be contacting your store owner in France!”

He replaces his wallet and storms out. I notice a red handkerchief has fallen out of his purse, and I pick it up. It’s very dirty, and when I open it up, a braided lock of blonde hair tied with a pink a ribbon falls out.

Unfiltered Story #147142

, | Unfiltered | April 17, 2019

(It’s early in the morning and I’m standing at the register whilst my co-worker goes to buy something. A customer walks into the shop who, the day before, had spent 3 hours walking around and making small chat, therefore driving us all crazy)
Customer #1: So how was your day? (to Customer #2)

Customer #2: Me? Um.. It was okay.

Customer #1: *asks everyone in the room how their day was and  proceeds to eat a broken cookie*

Me: U-Uh.. Ma’am, are you going to pay for that?

Customer #1: No! It’s broken!

Customer #3: *takes another, full-sized cookie out of the jar and pays for it, before eating it immediately*

Customer #1: *pushes customer #3 away, screams profanities and demands a refund*

(It turns out Customer #1 has some sort of mental problem. My boss eventually had to threaten to call the police. She never came back again.)

Washing Your Mouth Out With Soap

, , , , | Right | February 1, 2019

(For a few years, I’ve spent the holiday season working at a well-known bath and body store that is known for having products displayed without packaging. The idea is that everything is meant to look like a food market. In particular, our bars of soap are cut fresh to the customer’s desired weight and then wrapped up for them. A man walks in with two teenage daughters, goes straight for a wheel of soap, and takes a huge bite out of it.)

Male Customer: “What the f***? This tastes terrible!”

Me: “Sir, that’s soap. It’s not meant to be eaten.”

Male Customer: “Well, why would you have it displayed like this?! I thought it was cheese!”

Me: “So, if it were cheese in a store, you’d just walk up and take a bite out of it before having it cut and paid for?”

(I technically should be reprimanded, but the only people on the floor are me and a floor leader who is a take-no-s*** kind of woman. She makes him pay for the entire wheel of soap — about $90 — and leave. Two days later, a different customer comes in holding an empty container that our fresh face masks are sold in.)

Female Customer: “Hi, I need to return this. I, uh… had a bad reaction to it.”

Coworker: “I’d be happy to return that for you. We can give you a refund or exchange it for a product that is better suited for your skin. Could you tell me what happened?”

Female Customer: *very shyly* “It, uh… made me poop my pants.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, these are face masks. They are not edible.”

Female Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know?! It says, ‘cupcake,’ on the label!”

(Believe it or not, I have dozens of variations on these two stories. Something about the holidays, mixed with the fact that our store is the size of a tuna can, really brings out the weirdos.)

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An Argonizing Encounter

| Right | June 18, 2015

Cashier: “Did you find everything you needed?”

Customer: “No. I was hoping you could help me, actually. I’m looking for a shampoo. I can’t remember the name but it has argon in it.”

Cashier: “Argon, madam?”

Customer: “Yes that’s right, argon.”

Cashier: “Oh! You must mean argan oil. I can show you…”

Customer: “No, no! I don’t want oil in my hair! I said ARGON.”

Cashier: “But madam, shampoo doesn’t contain—”

Customer: “Do you even know what argon is?”

Cashier: “Yes, madam. It’s a gas. Sometimes used in lightbulbs. I don’t think it’s used in shampoo, though.”

Customer: “You really don’t know what you’re talking about, do you? Just because it’s a gas doesn’t mean it can’t be mixed. Water has oxygen in it, you know!”

Me: “Excuse me, madam, but I’m in a hurry and if you’re looking for argon compounds you’re going to be here a very long time.”

Customer: “What do you know, exactly?”

Me: “I know that argon is a noble gas so you’re very unlikely to find any compounds of it in this shop.”

Customer: *scoffs* “It’s not that hard to get hold of it! They just use recycled lightbulbs.”

Me: “Noble doesn’t mean rare. The stuff’s over 20 times more common than carbon dioxide. It means it’s almost completely unreactive. To get a compound you could mix into a shampoo, you’d need a very high-tech lab and a lot more money than anyone would pay for shampoo.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go somewhere they know what they’re talking about!” *storms out*

Me: “Yeah, good luck with that.”

Cashier: “Um… yeah. Thanks for that”

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