That Actually Worked?!

, , , , , | Right | December 15, 2020

A friend and I are spending a vacation in Alghero, Sardinia, enjoying the food and drinks. This conversation is in Italian; I speak it fluently even though I’m Swedish. We each had a glass of prosecco. Mine is empty, so I go to the bar with a concerned and slightly sad look on my face.

Bartender: “How can I help you?”

Me: “There has to be something wrong with this glass; it seems broken!”

The bartender takes the glass and looks at it. There’s nothing wrong with the glass, so he looks at me, confused.

Bartender: “What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “There was nice prosecco in the glass, but suddenly, it was empty! I think the liquid went out through that hole on top!”

The bartender looks at me, even more confused. The owner of the hotel shows up in the bar, having heard the exchange. He has a grin on his face. He takes the glass from the bartender, looking at it with much concern.

Owner: “This is not good! I can see why this upsets you, but I can fix it!”

He bends down under the bar and takes out a HUGE champagne glass that easily fits half a bottle, fills it up, and hands it to me.

Owner: “There you go, miss. This glass won’t get empty that quick! But if you have any problems, you are welcome to come back and talk to me! This is on the house to apologize for the defective glass!”

I laugh and go back to my friend, who didn’t understand any of the conversation.

Friend: “What happened? And what’s with the giant glass?!”

Me: “I told them the glass was broken, so I got a new one!”

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Taking Shelter In Some Weird Notions

, , , , , | Friendly | December 9, 2020

I have a semi-regular weekly dinner with a friend who’s been suffering from depression and anxiety, to help get them out of the house. Unfortunately, this person can be very intense and draining for me, an introvert. They also don’t believe that “quiet and alone” is how I regain my mental energy, and so they think me leaving to be alone is terribly dangerous for MY mental health. They are always convinced they are correct, especially if they’ve seen a video about something on Youtube, to the point of telling someone who had studied the subject they were “wrong” on more than one occasion. Still, depression, anxiety… so I try to be a good friend and make sure they get some world time.

This is the story of when I realise I need to cut them out of my life to stop myself from spiraling into heavy depression and anxiety trying to help them.

We are having dinner in a pub, discussing what provisions there are in place for victims of abuse; there is a sad amount of abuse in our country, and my friend was a victim of it in another country. Wonderful dinner discourse, but it’s interesting and needed nonetheless. Then, this gem pops out of their lips.

Friend: “[Woman’s Shelter Group] is an anti-men hate group.”

I’m startled, thinking I’ve heard them wrong.

Me: “What?”

Friend: *totally straight-faced* “[Shelter] is biased against men; it won’t let men into the shelters and it’s teaching women to hate men. It’s an anti-men hate-group.”

I just stare for a good half-minute.

Me: “I’m sorry? They have ‘women’ in the name, and we have an overwhelming majority of women needing shelter. I don’t know if they’d be able to find a shelter for men, but they’d try to help. They’re not… anti-men?”

Them: “No, they totally teach those women to hate and fear men; they won’t even make them interact with them. They shouldn’t be allowed!”

Me: “What? I just… Wow. Nope, that’s it. I’m done.”

And with that, I walked out on them and haven’t seen them since. I’d already paid for and finished my meal, so no dining-and-dashing was involved. They sent me some… interesting texts afterward about how it was very rude of me to just up and leave and that I was a bad friend for it. They also ranted that saying a guy was in the “friendzone” was the worst insult a man could receive.

To this day, I don’t know what they wanted out of that interaction, and I support that group more than ever to try and level out that weird, fixated bigotry.

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Making A Lot Of Noise And The Karaoke Hasn’t Even Started

, , , , , , | Right | December 8, 2020

I work at a bar where you can reserve private rooms set up with karaoke machines. I’m in charge of organising the reservations, etc. A woman comes in at 11:00 pm with a big grin on her face and leans on my desk.

Customer: “I have a reservation for 11:45.”

There are no reservations for that time.

Me: “Okay, let me just have a look through my system. 11:45? What name would it be under and how did you make the reservation?”

Customer: “I called half an hour ago. It’s under [Customer].”

Me: “And you definitely called our branch? Unfortunately, I don’t have a reservation that matches those details; let me check our other branches.”

I check the reservation lists for our other branches and still can’t find her.

Customer: “No! It was definitely here! I rang up and spoke to a man who said there was a room free at 11:45!”

I’m the person who takes all the phone calls at night, and I’m female, so I already know she definitely didn’t make a reservation here.

Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but there is no reservation at any of our stores under that name or at 11:45. Did you get a confirmation email?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Look.”

She shows me her phone call history.

Customer: “This is the phone call. This is your number.”

The phone number on the screen isn’t correct for any of our stores. I type it into Google to see what comes up.

Me: “You definitely called [Our Chain]?”

Customer: “Yes! I have five friends outside who are expecting to sing here and you’re telling me some idiot lost my reservation?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am, but the phone number you called isn’t for us. You have actually rung [Competitor]. Unfortunately, you’re in the wrong store. Would you like me to call them and let them know you are on your way?”

Customer: “You want me to walk all the way to [Competitor]? But I’m here! I wanted the booking for here!”

Me: “That’s fine. I can put you on my waitlist if you would like to stay here instead of going and taking your reservation at [Competitor]. The next available room is at 12:30 am.”

I also explain the pricing system to her.

Customer: “Ugh. Whatever. Put me down for the next room. And I mean the very next one!”

I write her into the waitlist and she leaves for the main bar area. She comes back at 12:15 am. 

Customer: “Is my room ready yet?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the group before you still has ten minutes left. I will send a waiter to pick you and your party up as soon as the room is ready for you. You’re welcome to wait in the bar.”

Customer: “Can’t you just kick them out?”

Me: “They have paid to have the room for a set amount of time, so no, I can’t make them leave any earlier.”

Customer: “Am I getting this for free? This has all been ridiculous. I should be compensated for the trouble.”

Me: “You… you want the room for free?”

Customer: “Yes! I want the room free of charge and a discount on our drinks. You’ve had me waiting for ages!”

Me: “I did inform you that the earliest room available was at 12:30 am and you agreed. There is no earlier time and unfortunately, I can’t offer you any discounts tonight because we haven’t done anything wrong, ma’am.”

Customer: “First, you didn’t have my booking and then you made me wait an extra hour! I think you’ve done everything wrong!”

I’m trying to stop myself from laughing.

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You want me to give you a heavily discounted room price and drinks because you incorrectly booked in for [Competitor] and I was fully booked at the time you wanted?

Customer: “I… Yes!”

Me: “The price will remain the same, and I will hold the reservation I have made until 12:45 for you. When you decide if you would like to continue, come and let me know; otherwise, I will give your room to the next group on my waitlist.”

She stormed off in a huff and came back at 12:30 with her friends, begrudgingly paid me the correct amount for the room hire, and spent the rest of the night flipping me off via the security camera in her room.

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I Mask Ask You To Leave

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: LoveManta | December 7, 2020

I am the youngest manager and bartender at our whiskey, craft beer, and cigar bar; I’m almost twenty-five. I get surprised looks sometimes when I talk to customers about whiskey, but nearly no one looks down on me, and I take my work with pride. Sometimes, I can even joke that the best whiskey is older than I am.

An older gentleman comes in right when we open one Friday.

Me: “Do you have a mask on you?”

Gentleman: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but due to our policy, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

He seems like a good sport, but when he turn around, he murmurs:

Gentleman: “I’ve been coming in here since before you were born.”

I started as a server right after the restaurant opened. I may be young, but I’m not four years old, sir.

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Technically, He’s Not Lying

, , , | Right | CREDIT: stormtrooper1989 | December 3, 2020

I work at a bar. The owner is an a** but he’s great to work for. He’s a super alcoholic, but he always pays for his drinks and he’s a great tipper. He is permanently banned from every other bar in town which is why he bought the bar. He has a policy that if he is drinking, he isn’t the owner, so if he gets out of hand, we can throw him out; however, we cannot ban or call the cops on him. All he does is sign the checks; he has nothing to do otherwise with the day-to-day of the bar other than drinking.

One morning, I am opening the bar; typically, the doors are unlocked an hour before we open so regulars can come in and drink. They know the bartender will be cleaning and stocking the bar and they will just deal with small wait times to get a drink or refill. The owner comes in and doesn’t want to wait for me to come out of the back, so he goes behind the bar and makes himself a drink. He then goes and sits at the bar and puts some money on one of the rubber mats.

When I come out of the back with a few cases of beer, I hear a woman going off on the owner.

Woman: “It’s horrible that you’re drinking on the job! And how dare you refuse to make me a drink?!”

Owner: *Simply* “I don’t work here.”

And he goes back to his drink.

When the woman sees me, she immediately starts complaining about him.

Woman: “I want to speak to the owner or a manager!”

Me: “I’m the only one here, so you’ll have to deal with me.”

She goes on a tirade.

Woman: “That man needs to be fired! And I demand a free drink as compensation for his rudeness and unwillingness to help me!”

Me: “That isn’t going to happen. He doesn’t work here.”

Then, she decides to take it up a notch; she says she knows the owner. Cue the typical “you’ll both be fired” rant. The owner is shaking his head laughing, which just makes the woman madder. I call her bluff.

Me: “Either shut up and order a drink or leave; I have things to do.”

She gets huffy and then demands a tab, trying to hand me a credit card.

Me: “We only accept cash, but you are welcome to go pull money out of the ATM near the bathroom.”

That doesn’t make her happy, so she decides to stomp out of the bar, saying she’ll take her business elsewhere. The owner then asks for my keys and promptly locks the door behind her.

Owner: “I’ve never met that woman, so you’re definitely not fired.”

We had a good laugh. She did come back about twenty minutes later because there wasn’t another bar open, and she got super pissed when my boss waved and went back to his drink. She banged on the door for about five minutes. He then made me a sign to put up on the glass door with the bar hours, and she got in her car and sped off. I luckily never saw her again.

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