Not Very Good Tomorrow People

| Perth, WA, Australia | Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem, Popular, Time

(Our pub closes at one am, by law, and closing time always comes as a rude shock to our punters. Every weekend night we have people bugging us for “just one more.”)

Customer: “But I just want one more! C’mooonnnn! Just for me?”

Colleague: *as we’re cleaning up* “Dude, we’re closed. End of story.”

Customer: “But how can I get another drink? I just want another drink!”

Colleague: *singing/shouting* “Tomorrow! Tomorrow! We’re open tomorrow! It’s only a day awaaaaay!”

(I miss the things you could get away with in a pub environment…)

You Can’t Drink Yourself Out Of This Problem

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “What is in your gold margarita?”

(I tell her and she orders one. Five minutes later…)

Customer: “This has a very rustic taste to it.”

Me: “You don’t like it?”

Customer: “It’s like… rustic.”

Me: “Is it too sour? Or too sweet?”

Customer: “It’s very rustic.”

(We go around and around like this until I determine what she means to say is metallic.)

Customer: “Drink it and see what I mean. Get a straw.”

Me: “I’m not going to do that, sorry. I’ll make you a new one or something different though.” *I am visibly pregnant, I should add*

Customer: “Honey, it’s not going to kill you. You should be tasting every drink you send out. Your baby will be fine. Get a straw.”

Me: “I will make you a new margarita.”

Customer: “Taste it first. We gotta work something out here because I can’t drink rustic things.”

Busy-ness Model

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am the general manager of a large Irish pub in a city centre. It’s a Saturday night, we have a live band playing, and the pub is extremely busy, I’m standing on the front door with the door man.)

Customer: *walking out of front door* “It’s disgusting. It’s too busy in there.”

Me: “I’m sorry; what is the problem?”

Customer: *getting irate* “It’s too busy; there are too many people and I have to wait to get served.”

Me: “It is a Saturday night and there is a band playing. It’s often this busy.”

Customer: “It’s disgusting. I’m never coming back!”

Me: “I’m sorry that our business model is clearly working.”

You Obviously Don’t Have An Anime Nose

| Japan | Bizarre, Health & Body, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am a European girl working in a bar in Japan that advertises as being international. Foreign staff are often popular with Japanese customers who frequently tell us how “kawaii” (cute) we are. On this occasion I am talking to a couple of slightly drunk Japanese girls.)

Customer: “Aaaaaaah, you’re so cute!”

Me: *smiling, since we get this a lot* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Ah, you’re so cute! It’s because your face is small and you have a nose!”

Me: “Thank you…?”

(Apparently having a nose is somehow exciting!)

Very Family Unfriendly

, | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant that is comprised of a dining room on one side and a lounge/bar on the other. Children, for obvious reasons, are not permitted on the bar side. On this evening we are packed, which is not unusual for a Friday night. A female customer approaches me at the front desk.)

Customer: “How long is the wait for the dining room?”

Me: “Good evening. Right now we are looking at a forty-five minute wait for the dining room. Would you like me to put your name down?”

Customer: “Forty-five minutes! That’s pretty s***ty! What about the bar?”

Me: “The bar does have availability. Is everyone in your party over eighteen?”

Customer: “No, I have two little kids that are d*** near starving!”

Me: “I apologize, but minors are not permitted in the bar side.”

Customer: *shouts* “Oh, you just hate children, then!”

Me: *stunned silence*

(The family left, the mother swearing and cursing our “children hating” policies.)

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