Your Reasoning Is Unliked

| UK | Right | March 13, 2017

(When it comes to ID-ing customers, I’ve heard a lot of reasons and excuses but this one still makes me face-palm.)

Customer: “Can I have [alcoholic drink]?”

Me: “Sure, can I see ID first?”

Customer: “Oh, seriously?! I don’t have any on me.”

Me: “I can’t serve you unless I see proof of age.”

Customer: “Well, what if I showed you my FaceBook page?”

Very Fluid Parenting

, | AB, Canada | Right | March 1, 2017

(I am a server at a restaurant where one side is family dining and the other is 18+ only, the drinking age in Alberta. Each side, while under the same roof, has completely different entrances, the sports bar clearly marked in bold letters – NO MINORS, 18+. A party of five brings in a very young baby in a child seat into the sports bar.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is an adult’s-only bar. No one under 18 is allowed.”

Customer: “It’s okay; she’s only a few months old.”

Me: “It’s actually illegal for your child to be in this part of the restaurant. It’s only for adults. You are more than welcome to try the other side. They have the same channels and sports playing over there.”

Customer: *scoffs and rolls her eyes at me* “It’s not like I’m going to give her any alcohol!”

Me: *very slowly* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you cannot have your BABY in a BAR!”

(She got flustered and then just muttered something to me as she and her baby left the bar, with the rest of her friends slowly following, looking embarrassed.)

Tapas On Tap

, | UK | Right | February 15, 2017

(We’re a tapas bar, so lots of small portions. We usually recommend two-three per person. Tonight, we’ve got a lot of bookings but can sometimes fit people in for limited slots of time. Two customers come in without a reservation, and it’s around 6:30 pm.)

Me: “Well, I can fit you in now, but I’m afraid we’ll need the table back by 7:30.”

Customer #1: “That’s loooads of time. We’re only getting something light.”

Me: “Okay, here you go!” *hands over tapas menu*

(A few minutes later, I approach for drinks.)

Customer #1: “A bottle of [Wine], please.”

Me: “A bottle… Okay!”

(A few more minutes later.)

Me: “And can I take a food order?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, so I’m like really hungry so I’m going to have like everything.” *laughs maniacally and lists almost everything, about seven items*

Customer #1: “Oh, he is hungry! Okay I’ll just have [five more items].”

Me: “…no problem.”

(Their “something light” turned into me having to squeeze extra chairs onto a tiny table for an actual booking because, of course, these two hadn’t left in time.)

Raising The Joke

| QLD, Australia | Working | February 14, 2017

(We’re at one of our weekly team lunches at a pub near our office. By this point, several colleagues have gone back to the office. Two of my workmates are at the far end of the table are talking, and I’m discussing baby names with another one. This colleague is a single mother.)

Me: “On another note, [Colleague], my wife and I will be going for a baby in a few months. Given that you’re a mother, I was wondering if I could ask you for advice—”

(At this point, she starts cracking up laughing, bent double over the table. I’m just able to make out what she says next.)

Colleague: “Advice on making the baby?”

Me: “That’s not what I meant! I should have phrased that better.”

(She nods, still laughing.)

Me: “I meant advice on raising the baby. You didn’t let me finish.”

Colleague: *still laughing* “Of course you can.”

(Once the laughter has subsided, I check that the other two workmates haven’t heard. They hadn’t.)

Me: “Please don’t tell anyone else about this.”

Colleague: *jokingly* “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone who knows you.”

Tip Of The Iceberg Of Her Stupidity

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Right | February 1, 2017

(I’m serving at the bar of a club when a woman orders a soda. I pour the drink and serve it to her.)

Woman: “I want the ice at the bottom of the glass, please.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did put the ice in first.”

Woman: “No, I want it at the bottom of the glass otherwise it hurts my teeth when I drink. ”

(At this point, as the woman has said this with a straight face and appears quite calm. I think she’s joking.)

Me: *laughing* “I can give you a straw, but changing the laws of physics is a bit beyond me I’m afraid.”

(The woman goes a shade of red and starts yelling.)

Woman: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! You’re boss will hear about this; it’s just unacceptable!”

(The woman stormed out and I was left shell-shocked at the bar. Funnily enough, she did complain about my rude and disrespectful service, and after two weeks of meetings with management she got banned.)

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