I am serving another round of drinks to a loud table at our bar. They appear to be mostly tourists. One woman grabs me as I am about to leave — a big no-no.

Customer: “Your Guinness is flat! I am a proud Irish woman, and I am offended that you’d serve me my heritage so badly!”

Me: “You can’t be that proud since you’ve happily been drinking Guinness from a can all night and haven’t realized.”

Thankfully, that, plus all her friends laughing at her, shut her up!

I’m a waitress, and I have bartending experience, as well. I’ve been doing this for over thirty-five years.

A couple of years ago, my daughter, her husband, and their two children came to visit me. I live across the street from the mall. [Arcade Restaurant] is literally within view of my apartment. It takes me probably one minute to walk across the street to get there.

My family and I went to [Arcade Restaurant], and we were all having a great time. We ordered food, and since I’m a full-grown adult and would be walking home, I decided to have a couple of drinks.

Also, remember, I’m a waitress in the US, so I know about tipping. I usually tip at least half the check. That being said, when I ordered my third drink, the waitress said:

Waitress: “Really? Another one?”

Daughter: “Oh, you f***ed up.”

Instead of a fifty-dollar tip, she only got $20.

I have a Master’s degree and am working a good job at a university. I bartend a couple of nights a week for some extra money because of student loans and stuff.

One evening, while I’m busting my butt at the bar after already putting in an eight-hour day at the office, an older woman at the bar tells me with a straight face:

Customer: “Maybe if you try to really work hard, you could get a good job someday.”

Me: “Oh, like what? What do you do?”

Customer: “Oh, my husband’s pension keeps us quite comfortable.”

Me: “So you haven’t worked since…?”

Customer: “Oh, I haven’t had to work since the seventies! Why?”

Me: “No reason.”

We have a man come into the pub every day and order a house whiskey. He’ll usually have two or three of these and then head on home. As with many of my regulars, I can have their drinks on the bar as soon as they walk through the door.

One particular day, I am busy and working alone behind the bar. [Regular] enters whilst I am serving a party of four and have another two people waiting. I smile politely and greet him.

Me: “I’ll be with you soon.”

When I have rung up the order for the party of four, I promptly move on to the next person. [Regular] coughs.

Regular: “Ahem. Where is mine?”

Me: “I will be as quick as I can. I just need to sort out these people’s drinks.”

Regular: *Shouting* “Is this how you look after loyal regulars?! You’re appalling at your job! Where’s your manager?”

I kept my cool and continued serving the customer who had at this point offered to wait if I wanted to serve [Regular] first, but out of principle, I wouldn’t back down.

I finished their order and grabbed the phone, dialling the number of the owner of the pub. I explained to [Regular] that I was ringing the manager for him.

When she answered, I briefly explained what had happened and passed the phone along to [Regular]. Whilst he was on the phone with [Owner], I prepared his drink and placed it before him.

Now, I can’t be sure what the phone call actually consisted of, but I know he wasn’t happy, so he took his glass of whiskey and walked out of the building, without payment.

He got barred from entering the establishment again and proceeded to spread the rumour around our little village that I was an abusive member of staff who made threats towards him.

Luckily, we have CCTV in the pub, which proved that I had done nothing wrong, but I am glad that I won’t have to serve him again!

I work as a floating bar manager at an airport. One of the restaurants I work in serves Japanese food and has a lunch rush every day from 1:00 to 4:00 pm.

During the rush, I turn around and see a young woman put her baby in a pumpkin seat directly on the bar.

Me: *Politely* “Ma’am, in Oregon, it is illegal to have children at the bar.”

I point to the prominent sign explaining this. 

Customer: *Immediately furious* “Then where do you expect me to eat my udon?! This place is too crowded!”

I point out a number of open seats, which she refuses.

Customer: “No! Because then I would need to sit next to strangers!”

I’m not sure what she thinks her flight is going to be like.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but it’s both illegal and unsafe to have your baby on the bar.”

And with that, she throws her hot soup at me. I am drenched in it. If my uniform weren’t a heavy polyester, I could have been burned. My coworker hits the button for security.

Me: “Assaulting an airport employee is a federal offense.”

Customer: “I did not assault you! You’re fine! I’ll be suing you, the restaurant, and the airport if I miss my flight because of your bulls*** rules!”

I smile and point to the numerous security cameras. This just sets her off even more. She keeps cursing at me until security arrives. She completely freaks out, calling me all sorts of names.

Customer: “I hope you’ll enjoy my lawyer ruining your life!”

Me: “I hope you’ll enjoy the cavity search.” 

I never heard from her lawyer.