Should’ve Gone With Lime Green Instead Of Bright Orange

, , , , , | Right | March 19, 2021

I used to bartend at a small dive in a small town. Not long after I started, we stopped accepting credit cards and went cash-only, mostly due to the number of people who would run up large tabs and then leave without paying; the card they left behind would get declined or they would report it stolen the next day and dispute the charge.

At the time, the bar didn’t have security cameras, so we couldn’t prove that the person had actually been the one using their card, even though we were supposed to check ID for credit cards if we didn’t know the person by name already. By state law, we are supposed to check ID for every person entering the premises anyway, even if they are obviously well over twenty-one.

For as long as I worked there, people would periodically act surprised, upset, and sometimes angry about the fact that we didn’t accept cards, even though we had put prominent, bright orange signs up on the front door and on the coolers behind the bar where they were clearly visible, and installed an ATM for convenience. 

One day, a man decides to yell at me for telling him that we only accept payment in cash.

Man: “You have to take my card because you don’t have any signs posted that say you’re cash-only!”

I just stare at him for a second and then point at the sign on the cooler, approximately one foot away from my head, at eye-level, stating, “CASH ONLY,” in four-inch-high lettering.

Me: “There’s a sign on that cooler, too, and another on the front door. We have an ATM over there under the yellow neon sign if you’d like to use it, or there’s a [Bank #1] branch on the corner just that way, and a [Bank #2] branch on the next corner that way.”

I pointed to indicate the direction of each bank. The man angrily opened and closed his mouth like he wanted to argue, apparently decided there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t make him look like even more of an idiot, and left without another word.

I never saw him again. He wasn’t the worst customer I ever had to deal with, by far, but he sure stands out among the stupidest!

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His Sexism Goes The Whole Nine Ounces

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2021

I work at a small and very popular bar on a beach. During the summers, lineups are usually two hours and we are busy open to close. However, during the winter, we usually only have regulars come in, as no one is going to the beach

A few days before Christmas, I have a man come in, and off the bat, I can tell that this is going to be a long night. I only have him and one other customer.

Customer: “I’ll have a red wine, nine ounces.”

I go to get the wine and come back. Our wine glasses are tall and slim, so sometimes people get confused.

Customer: *Looking stunned* “I told you a nine-ounce. Are you not listening?!”

He continues to yell at me.

Me: “Yes, sir, it is a nine-ounce. I measured it out.”

Customer: “Listen, sweetheart, I need to speak to the bartender. Is there a man that can serve me?”

Me: “Sir, I am the bartender. And it is nine ounces.”

Customer: “I need to speak to a man. Clearly, you don’t know what you’re doing.”

I give up and grab my supervisor, who is ALSO a woman, and she tells him it is nine ounces. The customer goes back and sits down. I go to the back to calm down, as I have anxiety and don’t appreciate it when customers get in my face and yell at me. After a few minutes, I go check on him.

Me: “Is everything going okay?”

Customer: “The wine is room temperature. I know my wine. It is supposed to be cold.”

Me: “Sir, it’s a red wine. It’s not refrigerated.”

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Whiskey Whispers

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2021

I am working in a restaurant with a bar. The restaurant offers Irish coffees as a dessert, with a mix of cream and milk on top so that it stays separate from the coffee. I have never been taught how to do this, so I cannot sell it.

One night, two ladies come in.

Lady #1: “Can I get an Irish coffee?”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I haven’t been shown how to make those.”

Lady #1: “Oh, no, I was really in the mood for one.”

Me: “Well, I could offer you a coffee with the whisky shot in and both cream and milk on the side. It’s all the same ingredients, but the presentation won’t be what you want.”

Lady #1: “Oh, no, that’s fine! Yes, I’ll take one of those!”

Lady #2: “I’ll have one, too!”

I create the drinks and serve them.

Lady #1: “Oh. Every other time we’ve gotten this, it comes in a special glass with the cream on top. Why doesn’t this look like that?”

Did she just not listen to a word I said?

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The Need To Manscape Does Not Make You A Man

, , , , , , | Right | February 18, 2021

A group of teenagers is in the theatre to see the show. Three of them approach the bar; two order Cokes and one orders a beer.

Me: “Sure, could I just see your ID for the beer?”

Boy: “Oh, I’m eighteen.”

Me: “Okay, I will still need to see your ID before I can give you the beer.”

He pulls down the neck of his T-shirt.

Boy: “But I have chest hair!”

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It Would Be Breast For You To Leave

, , , | Right | February 17, 2021

The bar where I work is open to all ages until 5:30 pm when we become an eighteen-plus venue. This occurs at 6:30 pm after all the signs have been put out stating that no minors are allowed access. A customer walks in carrying a small baby and her husband is pushing a pram. I am the manager of the bar. I’m twenty-two and female but I’m quite short and often get mistaken for being much younger.

Me: “Sorry, but you can’t have a child in here after 5:30.”

Customer: “I’m breastfeeding.”

Me: “That’s lovely, but unfortunately, club policy is that no minors are allowed in this area after 5:30 pm.”

Customer: *Suddenly irate* “You can’t discriminate against a breastfeeding mother. It’s against the law.”

Me: “I’m not discriminating against you. It’s also against the law to allow a minor in this area after 5:30 pm.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to the manager! This is discrimination! I’ll have your job!”

Me: “I am the manager, and unfortunately, you still can’t have a minor in here.”

Customer: “I want to speak to a real manager, not a little girl.”

Me: “You can talk to the general manager of the other sections of the club. He will tell you that for this area, you need to speak to me but that the 5:30 pm rule still applies.”

Customer: *Finally leaving, still screaming* “I’ll have your job! You can’t discriminate against breastfeeding mothers! I’m calling the police and leaving a terrible review of this place! I hope you enjoy your fines for breaking the law!”

She screamed at other entering customers that we were all breaking the law and discriminating against her all the way out. She never called the police or left a review, but I told all the other staff about this incident and now it’s a little inside joke between us all that breastfeeding babies don’t count as minors.

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