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You Can’t Drink Yourself Out Of This Problem

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “What is in your gold margarita?”

(I tell her and she orders one. Five minutes later…)

Customer: “This has a very rustic taste to it.”

Me: “You don’t like it?”

Customer: “It’s like… rustic.”

Me: “Is it too sour? Or too sweet?”

Customer: “It’s very rustic.”

(We go around and around like this until I determine what she means to say is metallic.)

Customer: “Drink it and see what I mean. Get a straw.”

Me: “I’m not going to do that, sorry. I’ll make you a new one or something different though.” *I am visibly pregnant, I should add*

Customer: “Honey, it’s not going to kill you. You should be tasting every drink you send out. Your baby will be fine. Get a straw.”

Me: “I will make you a new margarita.”

Customer: “Taste it first. We gotta work something out here because I can’t drink rustic things.”

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Busy-ness Model

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am the general manager of a large Irish pub in a city centre. It’s a Saturday night, we have a live band playing, and the pub is extremely busy, I’m standing on the front door with the door man.)

Customer: *walking out of front door* “It’s disgusting. It’s too busy in there.”

Me: “I’m sorry; what is the problem?”

Customer: *getting irate* “It’s too busy; there are too many people and I have to wait to get served.”

Me: “It is a Saturday night and there is a band playing. It’s often this busy.”

Customer: “It’s disgusting. I’m never coming back!”

Me: “I’m sorry that our business model is clearly working.”

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You Obviously Don’t Have An Anime Nose

| Japan | Bizarre, Health & Body, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am a European girl working in a bar in Japan that advertises as being international. Foreign staff are often popular with Japanese customers who frequently tell us how “kawaii” (cute) we are. On this occasion I am talking to a couple of slightly drunk Japanese girls.)

Customer: “Aaaaaaah, you’re so cute!”

Me: *smiling, since we get this a lot* “Thank you.”

Customer: “Ah, you’re so cute! It’s because your face is small and you have a nose!”

Me: “Thank you…?”

(Apparently having a nose is somehow exciting!)

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Very Family Unfriendly

, | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant that is comprised of a dining room on one side and a lounge/bar on the other. Children, for obvious reasons, are not permitted on the bar side. On this evening we are packed, which is not unusual for a Friday night. A female customer approaches me at the front desk.)

Customer: “How long is the wait for the dining room?”

Me: “Good evening. Right now we are looking at a forty-five minute wait for the dining room. Would you like me to put your name down?”

Customer: “Forty-five minutes! That’s pretty s***ty! What about the bar?”

Me: “The bar does have availability. Is everyone in your party over eighteen?”

Customer: “No, I have two little kids that are d*** near starving!”

Me: “I apologize, but minors are not permitted in the bar side.”

Customer: *shouts* “Oh, you just hate children, then!”

Me: *stunned silence*

(The family left, the mother swearing and cursing our “children hating” policies.)

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Mixing With Good Company

, | Hamilton, New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m training a new staff member on mixers that are common when a customer walks up.)

Customer: “Keep arguing. I’m just trying to decide what I want.”

Me: “We’re not arguing; I’m just instructing [Coworker] here on common mixers.”

Customer: “What ones are you having issue with?”

Coworker: *who has recently told me she gets very nervous when a customer approaches* “All of them, really.”

Me: “We were going over Black Russians and Vodka Lime and Sodas.”

Customer: “Right I’ll have one Black Russian and one Vodka Lime and Soda.”

(My coworker and I pause because we’re unsure if he is being serious or not.)

Customer: *in a cheerful tone* “That’s terrible service. Let’s try that again shall we?” *walks back a few paces and comes to the bar again* “I’ll have one Black Russian and one Vodka Lime and Soda.”

Coworker: “Okay, sir!” *looks at me, looking confused*

Me: *to customer* “Would you like ice with those?”

Customer: *to coworker* “You’re very good at throwing your voice. Let’s try it again. *repeats leaving and coming back and ordering drinks*

(My coworker went about pouring the drinks for him and then I talked her through how to charge them. The customer then also ordered a Stella and charged it all to his room. He then left the bar AND his two original drinks and went and sat with his friends. We ended up throwing the drinks out – turned out he just wanted to give my coworker a chance to practice. Since we charge $12 for a Black Russian and $9 for a Vodka Lime and Soda, this was no cheap drink he tossed!)

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