(I work for a big bank. When a new customer opens an account, they are required to set a numeric password in order to access our online service safely. I get cases like this one many times a day.)

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer], in order to finish the process, you are now required to set a PIN consisting of six numbers. That PIN is strictly personal — we’ll set it via a confidential voice system — so don’t say it out loud. Also, for security reasons, the numbers must not match those of your birth date or DNI.” *this is a Spanish official identification document* “Just tell me when you are ready and I’ll transfer you to our automated system in order to set it.”

Customer: “Oh… Err… Can it contain letters?”

Me: “No, only six numbers, sir.”

Customer: “A maximum of six numbers?”

Me: “Six numbers exactly, please.”

Customer: “Can it be four, so it matches my card PIN? That way I only have to remember one.”

Me: “I’m afraid it has to be exactly six non-consecutive numbers, sir. Also, we don’t recommend using the same password for different services, as separate PINs are safer.”

Customer: *groans* “Oh, boy, how am I supposed to come up with six numbers out of the blue like that?”

Me: *thinking of possible random combinations of numbers and wondering what’s so hard about it* “Sir, you can choose any combination you want as long as they are not consecutive and do not match personal data. For example, you can use a date that means something special for you, using only two digits for the year. Just don’t use your birthday, for security reasons.”

Customer: *after some more time thinking and groaning* “Okay, I got it.” *proceeds to spit the numbers so fast I can’t say a word*

Me: “Sir, you are not supposed to say them out loud. Also, those are the first six numbers of your ID, so they can’t be used.”

(The customer spends a couple of minutes mumbling numbers to himself and groaning as if we had asked him to solve an advanced mathematical equation, then confirms he’s ready.)

Me: “All right, sir, let me transfer you to the automated voice system. You only have to press the numbers or say them out loud one by one without articles, and then the call will return to me.”

(I transfer him and come back after some seconds. The PIN has not been set.)

Me: “Sir, I think there might have been a problem.”

Customer: “Your system is useless! I said the numbers and it didn’t understand me! I went like, twelve…”

Me: “Let me stop you there, sir. Remember, the numbers are confidential. The problem is that you must say them one by one. Let’s try again.”

(I transfer him again, come back and, lo and behold, something went wrong again.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I’m sick of this system! It fails every time! I’m saying—“ *before I can stop him* “—onetwothreefourfivesix, and it says invalid PIN!”

Me: “Sir, they have to be non-consecutive.” *bangs head against desk*

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 6
PIN-Headed, Part 5
PIN-Headed, Part 4

This story is part of our Bank Customer roundup!

Read the next Bank Customer roundup story!

Read the Bank Customer roundup!

(I work in a bank. This story happens on two separate days, Saturday and Wednesday, and with two different coworkers. We have a customer upset that her account is overdrawn by $500, and she has previously spoken to our manager about refunding her $100 in overdraft fees. He agrees that if she brings in enough to bring her account positive, he will refund the fees and reactivate her debit card. She comes in Saturday morning, while our systems are offline due to an update, and speaks to my coworker.)

Coworker #1: “Hi. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer], and I spoke with your manager yesterday about refunding my overdraft fees and reactivating my card.”

Coworker #1: “Yes, I remember seeing that email. Unfortunately, our systems are going through an update, and the program we need to reactivate is currently unavailable. I can definitely put the money into your account for you.”

Customer: “Well, that won’t work! I need my card so that I can buy gas and groceries. Your systems shouldn’t be down when I was promised to have my card today.”

Coworker #1: “I do apologize, ma’am, but even if our systems were up, your card wouldn’t be activated until Monday because Saturday transactions don’t process until then.”

Customer: “No, that’s not what I was told! I’m not giving you any money until you make sure I can use my card. I need to be able to get gas for my car and groceries! So, if I can’t use my card to do those things, then I can’t give you money.”

Coworker #1: “Okay, just so you understand. Once we refund your fees and you deposit the money, you’ll only have a positive balance of $5. If you spend more than that, you’ll be overdrawn again.”

Customer: “You’re not getting money until I can use my card! I’ll just come back next week!”

(As the customer leaves, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Um… did she really just tell you she was basically planning to immediately overdraw her account again once she left?”

Coworker #1: “Pretty much.”

(Our bank charges extra fees for each day you leave your account overdrawn. Had the woman come back Monday, we could have still given her what she needed. But she didn’t come back until Wednesday, and gave the same spiel to [Coworker #2].)

Coworker #2: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t refund you all these fees.”

Customer: “No! I was in here on Saturday and your systems were down. I dealt with [Coworker #1]! And your manager said he would refund these fees!”

Coworker #2: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but because you waited until today to come in, even if I refunded the $100 fees, your account would still be negative due to the fees for Monday and Tuesday. If you would have come in on Monday, it would have been no problem.”

Customer: “The agreement with your manager was that he would refund all of my overdraft fees! This is ridiculous! I wasn’t going to give money unless I was able to use my card, and your systems were down, so I couldn’t do anything on Saturday. I shouldn’t be punished for your system error!”

Coworker #2: “I do apologize, ma’am, but even if the systems weren’t down, your card wouldn’t have been able to be activated until Monday because Saturday is Monday’s business day. You would have had no issues had you come in on Monday. But I already spoke with my manager and read the email he sent out, and it specifically said that he would only refund $100 worth of fees and nothing more. If you’d like to speak with him once he is off the phone, you can, but until he approves it, that’s all I can do.”

Customer: “I can’t wait for him! I have to be at work in five minutes! This is ridiculous. I’m just taking my cash!” *walks out the door*

Me: “Why would you come to a bank less than ten minutes before you’re supposed to be at work? She just wanted to cause trouble.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part “It’s Over 9000!”
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part We Don’t Even Know Anymore
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 83

This happened about ten years ago when my husband and I went to the bank with our son, who was quite young and in a stroller. Our bank is one block long and very narrow, with a door on both ends to the street. They have one line that starts near the Third Street door; when you get almost to the Second Street door, you exit the line to go to the next available teller.

While my husband waited in the line I waited beside it, matching his pace so we could chat, since the stroller is a little wide for the lines. When it was his turn, I went past the line to stand near the Second Street door, while he went to the teller at the end closest to the Second Street door, so I was standing about five feet away from him, waiting for him to finish banking so we could leave.

An older man came into the bank from Second Street as we were approaching the teller and stood just past me, just standing there. The teller serving my husband motioned to the line for him and asked him to go stand in the line if he needed service. He declined, saying that this line was shorter, and continued standing there. The teller explained that this wasn’t a line, that I wasn’t banking — she confirmed it with me, as well — and that if he needed banking service he needed to go get in the line at the other end of the bank. Again he declined, as “this line” was shorter. As my husband finished banking and walked over to me to leave, the older man tried to go to the teller, and she again told him he needed to stand in line, and she called the next person over. As he was ranting about how he had waited in the short line and it should be his turn, my husband turned to him and said, “That line was the line waiting to go to the dentist. The line to get banking done starts over there. If you want to go to the dentist with us, now is the time; if you want to do banking go stand in the proper line.”

The old man actually started walking over to wait in line as we were leaving.

I had been applying for film jobs online and received an email from one of the companies. They wanted to hire me as a PA, and they said they would pay for my expenses to fly to the film set and hotel and stuff like that. They also said they’d send me a check for $2500, but I had to send some of it back to them for some reason — taxes or something like that.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “SCAM! SCAM!” You would be right, but I was very young and naive when this happened so I happily received the check and dutifully tried to deposit it in the self-service machine, but it wouldn’t let me.

I asked for help from one of the tellers, and she tried to help me with the machine, but it still wouldn’t work — because the check was fake, although I still hadn’t figured that out. She tried to look it up in the system and she said it wasn’t coming up so she couldn’t deposit it.

At this point, I should have figured it out… but I didn’t. So, I went to another branch of the bank and tried again. They tried to deposit it and even took my fingerprint and everything, but they couldn’t deposit it, either, because they couldn’t find it in the system.

I kept bouncing back and forth from branch to branch, trying to cash it, but none of them were having it. Finally, something snapped in my little brain and I decided to Google it, and lo and behold: SCAM.

I tried to go back to the first branch to explain that I had realized the check was fake and to apologize, but when I got there they had gotten their boss and said they couldn’t serve me at that branch anymore.

So, basically, I got banned from my own bank because I was a dumba**.

This story is part of our Bank Customer roundup!

Read the next Bank Customer roundup story!

Read the Bank Customer roundup!

(I work for a bank’s call centre, and while it’s not what I primarily deal with, once in a while I handle mortgage problems. It is important to note that in Canada, if you have a mortgage you have to show proof of house insurance or else the bank will automatically add their insurance to your mortgage payment. Without house insurance, you could lose your mortgage with the bank. Their insurance is not cheap. It is also important to note that for privacy reasons, most insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance — which they usually send out yearly — directly to any mortgage holder. On this call, I am transferred an irate customer from a new hire who has no idea how to help him.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Bank]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I just got a notification that you’re going to charge me for insurance. I already have insurance from [Outside Insurance Broker].”

Me: “All right, let me look into this for you. It seems like we need you to send in a new proof that your insurance is being continued on your house.”

Customer: “Why can’t you get it from my insurance broker? It’s a pain to have to send it in every year.”

Me: “Insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance directly to us without your permission, as they want to maintain your privacy. They should have sent the renewal to you so that you could forward it to us.”

Customer: “I don’t want to do this every year. I have insurance. Why can’t you ask them for the proof that my insurance has been renewed?”

Me: “I’m sorry if I didn’t explain this well. Even if we did ask your insurance company, they would not give us the information. I know that it is an extra step, but in order to not have to pay the bank’s insurance, you just have to send us the renewal information. Would you like me to provide you the information on where to send it?”

Customer: “No, I have it. I just don’t think I should have to send this. It should be up to you to get it. Having to do this every year is an inconvenience!”

Me: “It’s not us stopping us from getting the information. Have you tried asking your insurance company to provide us with the information directly?”

Customer: “I asked. They won’t do it.”

(I pause.)

Me: “So, you are aware that it is not us stopping the information from being sent directly to us?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you have the information on where to send the proof of insurance?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, if you know that it is your insurance company who won’t send us the proof of insurance, and you have the information on how to get it to us, and you understand that all of this is completely out of our control, I have to ask: what were you hoping to accomplish with this call?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to send this in!”