Reader… My… Lips

| IL, USA | Working | August 3, 2016

(I’m a serious tech nerd. I also don’t have a very good relationship with our IT department, as I’m constantly questioning their old-school methods of doing things. I’m having an issue with my check reader, which has completely stopped working. I’ve called it in. As I’m waiting on customers, I get several pop-ups on my computer that someone is trying to remote log in. I hit “cancel” and continue waiting on my customer. My phone rings…)

Me: “[Bank] in [Town]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

IT Guy: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

IT Guy: “I’m TRYING to fix your reader software, and you keep kicking me out.”

Me: “I’ve got a customer, you didn’t tell me you were trying to remote in, and it’s not a software issue. I need a new reader.”

IT Guy: “I was almost done!”

Me: “And you have to give me a five minute warning if you’re going to remote in. We have a lot of customers today, and you need to give me time to finish up and shut down my station.”

IT Guy: “JUST CALL ME WHEN YOU’RE READY!”

(A few minutes later, I do this. He remotes in and runs a software update. As expected, my reader still malfunctions. I call him back…)

Me: “Yeah, I told you. I need a new reader. This still doesn’t work.”

IT Guy: *loud sigh* “I’ll be over to look at it.”

(I manage to track down a replacement, which works perfectly. The IT guy shows up and makes a great show of taking the bad reader apart while saying how quick this is going to be.)

IT Guy: “Oh… Would you look at that…”

Me: “What?”

IT Guy: “So, the software’s fine. There’s something actually wrong with the reader.”

Me: *sarcastically* “What?! You mean I was right?!”

IT Guy: “Yeah, yeah.”

Me: “I TOLD YOU!”

(He ended up having to take it with him because it was not a quick fix. This did not help my relationship with IT…)

Flirt, Camera, Action

| USA | Right | July 27, 2016

(I am filling in at a different branch on this particular day. A guy who looks old enough to be my dad walks up to my window.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to get a money order today.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you have an account with us?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, no problem, I’ll just need your ID and a few other pieces of information to get that done for you.”

Customer: “Ask away. I do this every month!”

(I quickly complete the transaction, as the customer is staring at me, and I am extremely uncomfortable. After I hand him the money order…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I was also lookin’ for a cute girl…” *grins at me and leans in closer*

(I take a small step backward and try not to let my expression change.)

Me: “Is there anything else BANKING-related that I can help you with today?”

Customer: *visibly disappointed* “Well, no. That didn’t work, huh?”

Me: “Er… no.”

Customer: “Oh, well. At least that wasn’t on tape or anything. That would be really embarrassing.”

(Without saying a word, I point to the security camera above my head.)

Customer: *looks up, expression goes from disappointment to horror* “THOSE THINGS ACTUALLY WORK?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, they sure do.”

Customer: “NOW IT’S ON TAPE?!” *runs out the door*

Coworker: “What was THAT?!”

Me: *puts head down on counter* “I think it’s time for a break…”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | July 21, 2016

(My husband is in line at the bank. He has to wait a while, as there is a customer being served ahead of him cashing a check.)

Cashier: *to customer* “Just to remind you, ma’am, you can deposit the check, but you can’t withdraw any money from it for a few days.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! IT’S MY MONEY!”

Cashier: *patiently* “Well, you’ve had six checks bounce this month alone, it’s bank policy, plus overdraft fees from your checks…”

Customer: “What has that got to do with anything? I want my money!”

Cashier: *sighs*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50

Cash Back Attack, Part 2

| IL, USA | Right | July 14, 2016

(I’m working our drive-thru lanes with another teller. A customer comes through our business lane and asks that I exchange some coins for him. I do this, give him cash back in a sealed money envelope, and he drives off. 10 minutes later, he comes back through the drive-thru…)

Customer: *to me* “You! You didn’t give me enough cash back!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “YOU SHORTED ME $20! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Is it stuck to another one of the bills, sir?”

Customer: “Of course not. This is what you gave me. I want my d*** money right now!”

Me: “Let me go count my drawer and I’ll see if I can find that $20 for you.”

(I count my entire drawer, and discover I balance perfectly.)

Me: “Sir, my drawer is perfectly balanced. Are you sure the $20 isn’t stuck to something else?”

Customer: “I don’t give a flying s*** if your drawer is f*****g balanced! You cheated me out of my d*** $20 and I want you to give it to me RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Please don’t use that language with me.”

Customer: “I can talk however the h*** I want!”

Me: “I’ll ask you again to not to use that language with me. What I will do is get a supervisor to count my drawer again.”

Customer: “You tell your supervisor to get her a** over here right f*****g now!”

(I grab a supervisor. She counts my drawer slowly and makes sure the customer can see her through the window. Again, it comes up balanced.)

Supervisor: “Sir? Her drawer is coming up balanced. I’ve checked her transaction history and it’s showing she gave you the $20.”

Customer: “SHE DID NOT! SHE CHEATED ME OUT OF MY $20! CHECK HER!”

Me: “EXCUSE ME?!”

Supervisor: “I’m not going to do that. I have no proof that she did anything other than give it to you.”

Customer: “GET ME A NEW TELLER AND MY $20 OR I’M GOING TO ANOTHER BANK!”

Coworker: “Sir, did you look on your seat for the $20?”

Customer: *looks down* “…Oh. Here it is. Right on my seat.”

Supervisor: “Good, I’m glad you found it. Now, have a nice day.”

Customer: “I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t cheat me. I don’t like to be cheated. I guess I’m sorry.”

(My jaw drops. I click the drive-thru mic off and mouth “Shame on you” at the customer as he drives away.)

Supervisor: “A**hole.” *looks at me and my coworker* “Sorry! I shouldn’t have said that. Are you okay, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, you only said what we all were thinking…”

Related:
Cash Back Attack

Crazy Customer? Fits The Bill

| USA | Right | June 30, 2016

(I work at a bank in a small lake-side city with lots of retired older folks. While working the drive-thru I have this exchange.)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer: “I want to exchange this for 500 dollar bills.”

(He places a stack of 20s, 50s, and 100s in the drawer.)

Me: “Sir… I’m sorry we don’t have any 500s I can exchange the smaller bills for one hundred dollar bi—“

Customer: “That’s bull-s***! I BUY 500 DOLLAR BILLS ALL THE TIME! THE BANK ORDERS THEM FOR ME!”

Me: “Sir, we can’t even order those bills; they stopped printing them back in the 1970s.”

(The customer glares at me for a few moments, grabs his money out of the drawer and points at me.)

Customer: “I know what’s going on here. You’re covering for him.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This is Obama’s doing!”

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