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Saying Freeze And Thank You

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer walks up to my window.)

Me: “Hello! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, one of your customers just gave me this check, and I want to be sure it will clear before I deposit it in my bank.”

(This is a fairly common request. We are allowed to either confirm or deny that a check will “clear” without giving out any other information about the check-writer’s account.)

Me: “Sure, I can help you with that.”

(I pull up the account and discover that it will clear easily.)

Me: “Yes, sir, it will clear.”

Customer: “Great. Now, I want you to put a freeze on the funds so it will still clear tomorrow. I’m not from here, so I won’t get to my bank until then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Since you’re not an owner of the account, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, I just don’t understand.”

Me: “Sir, is your name on the account?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I can’t take any direction from you on what to do with it.”

Customer: “I’m not asking to take money out of their account. I am asking you to put a freeze on the funds so that they will still be there tomorrow. How hard is that?”

Me: “So, just to get this straight, you would like me to put a freeze on funds on an account that your name is not on, and you have no ownership claims on whatsoever?”

Customer: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

Me: “I still can’t do that.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Because your name is not on the account. I cannot do anything to this account because your name is not on it. This account is not owned by you. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “FINE!” *stomps out*

Coworker: “Did he really think that was an okay thing to do?”

Me: “I wonder about the general public sometimes…”

(Not the first time I’ve gotten a request to “freeze” funds on someone’s account, but definitely the most belligerent reaction!)

Obeys Instructions To The Letter

, | Liverpool, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I’m in the security department and from time to time we send letters out to customers if we need to check transactions are genuine.)

Me: “[Bank] Security. You’re speaking to [My Name] in Liverpool; can I take your name, please?”

Customer: “I’ve got a letter, here.”

Me: “Okay, we’ll just be wanting to check some transactions on your account, just to make sure everything is genuine.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’ll just be a security check. Is that what the letter says?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I assumed at this point that perhaps he couldn’t read so I was about to explain further when…)

Customer: “Should I open it?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Should I open the letter?”

Me: “Uh.. well… yes.”

Customer: “Okay, that’s all I wanted to know. Thanks, bye!”

(I feel bad, because I didn’t tell him to read it after opening it, and didn’t visit his address and personally type in our phone number for him, either.)

Doesn’t Know Zip About His Code

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I am processing a customer’s application and realize his zip code on his account is ****6 but the one on his application is ****1. Wanting to correct the mistaken one I ask him.)

Me: “Excuse me. Sir, what is your zip code?”

Customer: “It’s ****4.”

Me: “Sir, you put ****1 on your application and our account is showing ****6. That’s 3 different zip codes.

Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter. They are all the same city, so I just give whichever one pops into my head first.”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work as a teller, and one of my jobs is to field phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m trying to make an online purchase with my debit card and it’s not working! I need you to fix this.”

Me: “Well, sir, it sounds like your card may be blocked. I can transfer—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No! This is a brand new card; I just got it today from the bank. Now they told me it would work, and it doesn’t!”

Me: “That’s odd, let me…”

Customer: “And another thing! How do you get away with issuing already expired cards?”

Me: “Well, sir, our temporary cards expire after a set time, but they are always good when issued.”

Customer: “No! This one says February 18th, right on there! Now today is the 24th, which means this is expired!”

Me: *face-palm* “Sir… all cards list the expiration date as month and year. That is February of 2018 listed on the card, and I assure you if you use that date you will be able to make your purchase.”

Customer: “That’s… that’s not what I was told! I was told this would expire this year!”

Me: “Yes, sir. The temporary card will. However it must have the same expiration date listed on it as the permanent card with the same number that is being mailed to you. I promise, February of 2018 will work.”

Customer: “Well… I suppose I’ll try it. But that’s darn foolish!” *click*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

Common Sense Takes A Holiday

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

Me: “Good afternoon, [Bank]; how may I direct your call?”

Elderly Customer: “So today is not a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we are open.”

Elderly Customer: “Well, I tried to call my doctor’s office and they aren’t answering. Are you sure it’s not a holiday?”

Me:“Yes, ma’am, I am positive that it is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “I was wondering why you would be answering the phone if it was a holiday.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you today is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “Is Monday a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, there are no bank holidays at all this month.”

Elderly Customer: “…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “Why won’t my doctor answer the phone?”

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