My husband and I took some church youth on a trip a few years ago and the church debit card locked up because we had unknowingly broken some security rules. There was no way to unlock it right away, but it automatically unlocked the next day, and we understood the problem and could figure out how to work around it. There were some changes made to how the account worked right before this trip, and somehow, none of the four employees I spoke to in getting things sorted out in the week leading up to the trip — all of whom were informed that we needed things in order before leaving — thought to tell me the out-of-state rules were different than in-state.

Fast forward a few years. We are preparing for another trip with our church youth. I call the local branch of the bank about two months before our trip to get a list of rules so we know what to do and not to do so that we aren’t stuck using personal accounts halfway across the country. The teller is completely confused by my request for travel policies and looks up the person who regularly works with our church accounts. This person also has no idea what to do with my request and transfers me to someone in the corporate office.

I explain what I need again and how it was a problem in the past.

Bank Employee: “We don’t give those out. It increases the risk of fraud if people know the safeguards we have in place.”

Me: “So, you shut down people’s accounts for breaking rules, but you won’t tell them what the rules are so that they can follow them?”

Bank Employee: *Pauses* “Yes… we don’t even have a compiled list of all those policies.”

Me: “We can’t really work with that. I have parents who are trusting me to take care of their kids, and your policies are to refuse me the information necessary to do that.”

Bank Employee: “I will see what I can find out for you, but please do not make it public.”

This lady emailed me a few times after my phone call to let me know she was working on my request, which required speaking to multiple departments. I finally received a list of their safeguards about three weeks before we left. I printed one copy of the list before deleting the email, after thanking her. We did not have any problems with frozen accounts on that trip.

I work at a small-town branch of a bank. I often get asked other questions that have nothing to do with banking. One customer asks if I know the number to the local DMV office.

Me: “I don’t, but I can Google it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! So helpful.”

My boss comes up behind me as I’m typing and hands me the phonebook. I’m in my twenties, and I haven’t seen a phonebook since I was a little kid.

Me: “Um… what’s this for?”

Boss: “I heard you say you needed to look up a phone number. We have a phonebook in the back. Here you go!”

Me: “Actually, I just Googled the number.”

I write the number down for the customer. She thanks me again and leaves.

Boss: “So, you found the number for the DMV on the Internet?”

Me: “Yes. I do it all the time.”

Boss: “But we have a phonebook!”

I examine the phonebook in question.

Me: “This thing is as old as I am.”

Boss: “It still works!”

Me: “So, no one’s number has changed in two and a half decades?”

Boss: “Uh…”

Me: “That’s why I look online. Generally, you’ll find updated information.”

Boss: “But you can use the phonebook.”

Me: “You can use it. I’ll stick to Google.”

I am at the bank to deposit money. While in line, I make small talk with an older woman in front of me; she seems really nice. When it’s her turn to go to the teller, I overhear their conversation.

Teller #1: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I would like to withdraw some money from my account. “

Teller #1: “Certainly! Can I please see your ID?”

This is common procedure; the bank wants to make sure it’s you accessing your own account, especially when withdrawing money. The older woman scoffs and seems offended by this.

Customer: “I come in here all the time. I don’t need to show my ID. You must be new here!”

She is very rude to this teller, talking about how the teller is counting money incorrectly, and even goes as far as to complain about how long it’s taking even though she is demanding the teller count out the money in front of her to ensure the teller doesn’t mess up.

I can be a bit of a smart-a** sometimes, so when another teller comes available, I go up with my ID in hand and say fairly loudly:

Me: “Hello! I am here to deposit money into my account. Here is my ID so you can verify who I am.”

The teller working with me replies just as loudly, saying:

Teller #2: “Thank you, sir, for following policy. It makes our jobs a lot easier when dealing with your money.”

I looked over and the other customer gave me a sideways look before scoffing and walking out.  

I’ve never understood why people don’t want their ID checked when withdrawing money from their account.

I will start by saying that I realize I was a jerk to the fraud agent that I spoke to in this story. My brain-to-mouth filter broke when she revealed herself to be extra stupid.

I travel quite frequently — every six months or so — back and forth from New York to Russia where some of my family lives, and I always put a travel advisory on my account prior to travel.

I use my credit card in a supermarket in Moscow. I then try to use it to buy something from another store and it doesn’t go through. I look at my bank’s app to find that my card is frozen. I call the bank and speak to the fraud department.

Fraud Agent: “We froze your card because it was used in an unknown location.” 

Me: “Oh, really? Where?”

Fraud Agent: “Moscow.”

Me: “Uh, don’t I have a travel advisory on my account?”

Fraud Agent: “Well, yes, but that was for Russia, not Moscow.”

I stared at my phone for a minute wondering if someone could possibly be this stupid.

Me: “Uh, Moscow is in Russia. Now please unfreeze my card.”

Fraud Agent: “Oh, we can’t do that. Once it’s frozen due to fraud, we have to send you a new card.”

I lose it. I definitely am THAT customer.

Me: “Let me get this straight. You’re a moron who doesn’t realize that Moscow is the capital of Russia, which I have a travel advisory for, and have had a travel advisory for every six months for the past ten years I’ve had the card, so you froze the card because you can’t read a f****** map? Now you are telling me you have to send me a new card, even though I am out of the country and obviously won’t get it until I get home two weeks from now?”

She speaks in a sweet way like what I just said made perfect sense.

Fraud Agent: “That’s right. Anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “Uh, yes, you can transfer me to your manager and buy yourself a globe.”

The supervisor was able to unfreeze the card and cancel the new card, and they apologized for the issue. I feel bad that I lost it on the fraud agent, but I seriously could not believe that she was that dumb. What’s worse, there are actually two people in the fraud department that need geography lessons: the one who froze the card in the first place and the woman who answered the phone.

I work in a bank with a lot of elderly customers that come in regularly. Most are fine, but I cannot stand this one lady. She is always rude, impatient, and demanding. State law recently changed about how trust titles checks have to go into trust titles accounts.  

Me: “Hello, how are you today Mrs. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Ugh, terrible! Ever since you closed your stupid drive-thru—” Two years ago! “—I’ve had to walk all the way inside this stupid, stupid bank. No other bank does that! Now, make this deposit for me.”

Me: “Okay… Oh, it looks like two of your checks are made out to a trust.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “This isn’t a problem at all, but I will have to change up the transaction a little bit because of a new state law. I have to deposit these two checks into your trust account, but I can transfer the same amount of money from your trust into the account you want so there won’t be a difference—”

The customer replies loud enough for the whole bank to hear.

Customer: “What?! That is ridiculous! I’ve been making the same deposits for twenty years! My lawyer said I could do it like this!”

Me: “Unfortunately, this is how we have to do it with the new law.”

Customer: “Are you calling my lawyer a liar?!”

Me: “No, of course not. But bank policy and state law say that I cannot deposit these checks straight into this account.”

Customer: “You’re not a lawyer! You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

Me: “Everything will still be the same. I just have to process the transaction a little differently.”

Customer: “You know, you’re just trying to make me mad. The actual bank doesn’t care what is deposited as long as they get my money. You stupid tellers are the ones that look at everybody’s checks and try to make their lives more difficult by telling the bank to make more policies. Fine! Do it your own stupid way!”

Oh, yes! I just love making new policies so I can be called stupid in front of the whole bank repeatedly and process more difficult transactions!