I work at a small bank in my town as a personal banker. My bank requires all accounts to have a verbal password which is created by the customer when accounts are opened.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I would like to know the balance on my account.”

Me: “Sure, can I get your name or account number?”

The customer provides their name.

Me: “Okay, and Mr. [Customer], can I have your verbal password on your account to verify your identity?”

Customer: “I don’t remember it. Can you tell me what the password is?”

Me: “I think that would defeat the purpose.”

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 7
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 6
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 5
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 4
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 3

My bank branch is closing. However, there’s another one a few miles away, as well as several others in a thirty-minute radius, so it’s not like we’re leaving customers high and dry. However, since this location is in a small town, we get an earful. Here are some snippets of conversations I’ve had.

Customer #1: “What am I supposed to do now? You guys are closing!”

Me: “Well, there’s a branch on [Street], under ten minutes away.”

Customer #1: “I’m not driving over there.”

Me: “No problem. [City] has several branches, as well. Would you like the addresses?”

Customer #1: “You expect me to go all the way over there?! Do you know how long that drive is?!”

Me: “It’s twenty minutes, depending on traffic.”

Customer #1: “Well, don’t you just know everything.”

Or this one:

Customer #2: “What happens if I ever can’t get to that other branch?”

Me: “You are more than welcome to mail deposits in.”

Customer #2: “That doesn’t seem very secure.”

Me: “Have you set up online banking or our app? We offer free mobile deposits. You take a picture of your check and—”

Customer #2: “Nope. Don’t want it.”

Me: “Do you have a debit card? It’s free, and you can get cashback at stores or the ATM. I can order one for you.”

Customer #2: “No. I let my husband handle the cards.”

Me: “You can also call in, and we can do transfers and balance inquiries over the phone. That’s also free.”

Customer #2: “But what if someone hacks my phone? I don’t like any of this. What else can I do?”

Me: *Pauses* “Close your account?”

Customer #2: “Oh, no. I like you guys too much to do that. But I don’t understand how I’m supposed to do my banking when you close.”

Me: *Eye twitches* 

Or, my personal favorite, after three weeks’ worth of complaints:

Customer #3: *In the middle of a rant* “…and you people closing this branch is not providing good customer service!”

Me: “[Customer], as we’ve told you before, you know that this wasn’t our decision.”

Customer #3: *Loud sigh* “FINE. I’ll go to that other branch. But I can’t believe you are making me do my banking all the way over there.”

Me: “It’s less than ten minutes down the road.” 

Customer #3: “That’s quite a drive, young lady.”

Me: “Aren’t you a long-haul trucker?”

[Customer #3] glared at me, snatched his receipt off the counter, and stormed out the door. However, there were no further complaints from him!

I am a teller at a credit union. We have a place to add notes to accounts, usually things like if we recently waived fees, if they have special instructions for deposits, or anything else relevant to their transactional experience.

A member comes in through the drive-thru. I only work on the weekends here, so I don’t know as many members as everyone else. I don’t recognize this particular member, but her photo ID and signature match in the system. Some of my coworkers are talking to her like they all know her. As I am preparing her withdrawal, I notice that there is a note on her account from a few years ago. It states that any withdrawals MUST be first verified with a verbal password, with the password in the note.

I have gotten in trouble once for not asking for a password when a member gave it to me before I needed to ask, so I don’t want to get in trouble again. I walk over to the drive-thru, politely interrupt the conversation between the member and my coworkers, and ask for the password.

Me: “Hi, sorry to interrupt. I just need your verbal password for the withdrawal.”

Member: “Wait… what?”

Me: “There’s a note on your account saying that I need to ask you for your verbal password before completing any withdrawals.”

Member: “A password? I don’t…”

Coworker: “She’s [Member]. Doesn’t it show her ID?”

Me: “Yes, but there’s a note saying not to do any transactions without a password.”

Manager: “Just do it anyway. We all know her. She comes in every week.”

Me: “Okay…”

I complete the withdrawal. As the member grabs her money, she says:

Member: “You know what? I do vaguely remember putting on a password back when my identity was stolen. That’s probably what you were asking about. I’m so sorry; I didn’t remember doing that.”

Me: “No worries. I just wanted to make sure I was following instructions.”

Member: “Thank you for that. I guess nobody asks me because they all know me. But thank you for asking. It’s good to know my money is safe here. You can remove the note now, though. Thank you!”

Me: “Absolutely. Have a great weekend!”

I work in a bank. The following scenario happens multiple times a week. Our deposit slips are clearly labeled and very easy to figure out.

Customer: “I want to make a deposit.”

Me: “Sure thing! Here’s a deposit slip.”

The customer stares at the deposit slip blankly.

Customer: “What do you want me to do with this?”

Me: “Fill out the parts you know, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

The customer pushes the slip back toward me. 

Customer: “I don’t know any of it.”

Me: “You don’t know your name?”

Customer: “What?! Of course, I do!”

Me: “Great! Put your name where it says, ‘Name,’ please.”

And every time, I can see the wheels turning as the customer finds the line that says, “Name,” with text bolded and in all caps.

Customer: “Oh.”

Multiple times a week!

I work the customer support line for a bank.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I assist you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I just wanted to dispute this charge on my account that I don’t recognize.”

That’s not unusual; tons of people call in for this reason.

Me: “Not a problem. May I have the amount and the description?”

Customer: “It’s for [amount] and it’s called, ‘NSF CHARGE,’ and I didn’t make that.”

Oh, God, here we go.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that is an insufficient funds fee, which you incurred because you did not have the funds available to pay for a transaction on [Website] yesterday.”

Customer: “I don’t get it. I didn’t make that charge.”

Me: “You didn’t make the charge on [Website]?”

Customer: “No, I did, but I didn’t make that… NFS or whatever it’s called.”

Me: *Pause* “It’s a fee that you received because you couldn’t pay that item.”

Customer: “But my account isn’t supposed to overdraft!”

Me: “Right. And it didn’t, which is why you received the fee.”

Customer: “I’ve never gotten this charge before.”

Me: “Correct; this is your first insufficient funds fee because you’ve always had the funds to pay for your purchases in the past.”

Customer: “But I’ve never had one. When did you guys start doing that?”

Me: “We’ve always charged this fee.”

The customer laughs, and then says condescendingly:

Customer: “No, no, no. No, you haven’t.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure we have. Every bank has this fee.”

Customer: “Can you refund it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, because it is a legitimate charge that caused the fee, we cannot refund it.”

Customer: “But I’ve never had one before.”

Me: *Pauses* “And that’s because you’ve always had the available funds to cover any purchases.”

Customer: “Soooooo, is that a no?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we can not refund it.”

Customer: “You have been no help.” *Click*