Compliments Are Not Complementary

, , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(I’m just finishing up with this customer.)

Customer: “Oh, I just love your earrings!”

Me: “Thanks! I got them at [Store]. They were 50% off last week! Now, there’s your receipt. Have a great day!”

(The customer stands there expectantly.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: “I complimented your earrings; that means you’re going to give them to me.”

Me: “Um… No?”

Customer: “Well, that’s just rude.” *walks out*

What The Truck?

, , , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2017

(I am the customer. I recently purchased a truck and am going in to finish the payment set-up at the bank. I am female.)

Banker: “Okay, so, according to this statement, your payments are going to be $305.00. Do you want that directly from your savings or checking?”

Me: “Yeah, checking, please! I am really excited. I have never owned my own car before!”

Banker: “What sort of vehicle did you decide on?”

Me: “I got an F-150.”

Banker: “What is that?”

Me: “A Ford?”

Banker: “I’ve never heard of it.”

Me: “It’s a popular truck.”

Banker: “You got a truck?”

Me: “Yes. I love it.”

Banker: “But you are a girl!”

Me: “Yes… Yes, I am.”

Banker: “Why didn’t you get a car?”

Me: “I have had a car before, but I really liked the truck.”

Banker: “Girls can’t drive trucks.”

Me: *pauses* “What?”

Banker: “Girls can’t drive trucks! Those are meant for boys!”

Me: “No offense, but that is absurd. It’s just a truck.”

Banker: “Are you a lesbian?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Banker: “Are you a lesbian? Lesbians drive trucks.”

Me: “What is wrong with you? It’s just a car! And no, not that it’s any of your business, but I am not a lesbian, but I take great offense to your stereotyping people based only on the sort of car they drive. This is so wrong.”

Banker: “Are you sure you aren’t a lesbian? I mean, you look girly, but you never know….”

Me: “Do you have a boss?”

Banker: “Yes.”

Me: “Go get them.”

(I explained the entire situation to the boss, while the banker looked completely confused as to why anyone would find her offensive or wrong at all. The bank covered my first payment over it, and I have never seen that lady working there since.)

Human Interaction Is So Mechanical

, , , , | Working | November 3, 2017

(I stop by my local bank on lunch to make a cash deposit. There is just one other person in line and two people being waited on, so I decide to go in. The wait isn’t long, and I soon approach the teller.)

Me: “I’d like to make a deposit.”

Teller: *processes transaction and hands receipt to me* “You could have used the ATM.”

Me: “I know.”

Teller: “Have you ever done it before?”

Me: “No.”

Teller: “Do you want me to show you how?”

Me: “No.”

(I left confused, unsure if she was trying to be helpful and save me the two-minute wait or because she would rather I not have come in to interact with her.)

Why Not? You Blame Him For Everything Else

, , , , , | Right | October 26, 2017

(After opening an account for a customer, I realize that I am missing some information. Banking regulations require us to get the account holder’s job title, or in this customer’s situation, a previous job title, as he is retired.)

Me: *on the phone* “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m going to need your job title from before you retired.”

Customer: “Both my wife and I worked at [National Scientific Lab].”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I will also need to get your job title, as well.”

Customer: “Is this because of Obama?!”

Me: “No, sir, these are just banking regulations. I am required to get this information.”

Customer: “Why, though?!”

Me: “That’s just what is required of me. I’m sorry if it causes any inconveniences.”

Customer: “Are you sure Obama isn’t making you do this?”

Me: “Yes, sir. As far as I know, I’ve never talked to the President about banking regulations.”

Taking Account Of Your Name

, , , , | Right | October 26, 2017

(It’s been a long day with difficult customers. A customer that I’ve never seen before walks up to my window and slaps some cash down on the counter.)

Customer: “Put this in my account.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s your name?”

Customer: “And I want my balance.”

Me: “Absolutely. What’s your name?”

Customer: “I think there’s $200 here.”

Me: “Okay, what’s your account number?”

Customer: “I don’t know that.”

Me: “No problem. What’s your name?

Customer: “You don’t know me?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “But I come in here all the time! Why should I give you my name?”

(The following flies out of my mouth before I can stop myself…)

Me: “Or I could just put this $200 in my account…”

Customer: “[Customer]! It’s [Customer]!”

Me: “Thank you! Here’s your receipt, with your balance. Have a great evening!”

(I didn’t get in trouble. My supervisor was laughing too hard to do anything.)

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