Ah, Democracy

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(It’s the day of the 2016 elections. I’ve just arrived to work.)

Me: “Hey, [Supervisor]. Do you want me in the lobby or the drive-up?”

Supervisor: “Your choice!”

Customer #1: “Hey! You cut in front of me!”

Customer #2: “You just told the teller you weren’t ready! I am ready, so I will go first!”

Customer #1: “You dodo bird. Must be a [Presidential Candidate] voter.”

(The entire lobby goes quiet and looks at [Customer #2].)

Customer #2: “You know what? I’ll just come back later.” *calmly walks out*

Customer #1: “So entitled and arrogant. I just know he’s a [Candidate] supporter. Did you know they’re trying to rig the voting machines? Ha! Like anyone in this area would vote for [Candidate].” *walks out, still talking to himself*

Me: “Ah… drive-up. I pick drive-up.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, I think I’ll join you.”

Coworker: “HEY! Don’t leave me alone up here! This city has turned into crazy town!”

A Standing Order To Get Themselves Into Trouble

, , , , , | Working | October 9, 2017

(I am female, married, and have two bank accounts: one jointly with my husband, and one just in my own name. The phone rings and I answer.)

Bank Employee: “Hi, could I speak to Mr. [Name], please?”

Me: “Can I ask who this is and what it’s about?”

Bank Employee: “I’m from your bank, and I would like to discuss your account and perhaps saving him some money.”

Me: “It’s a joint account, and I’m his wife, so you can talk to me.”

Bank Employee: “I’d prefer to speak to Mr. [Name]. We’ve noticed that some of your standing orders would benefit from having their dates changed.

(He then names several standing orders, including three which go from my own personal account, NOT our joint one!)

Me: “Sorry, but did you say standing orders [#1, #2, and #3]?”

Bank Employee: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “You do realise they’re on my account? Would you have included them if my husband had answered the phone?”

Bank Employee: “Yes, certainly. It would be much more efficient if they all came from the one account instead.”

Me: “…”

(Hopefully, after I’d had a word with the manager, this employee will come to realise the consequences of being willing to discuss private, confidential account details with someone who isn’t the account holder. This bank also consistently asks to speak with my husband, even though he has nothing to do with the finances and doesn’t even have a debit card!)

This Is The Month You Start To Listen

, , , | Right | October 3, 2017

(I work for a bank that also has credit cards. My job is to call the customers when they are overdue on payments. I always have to ask for their postcode and the month they were born as a quick security question before I can go into why I’m calling.)

Me: “Hi, can I speak to Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Speaking.”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], calling from [Company]. I just need to quickly clear security by asking for your postcode and the month you were born.”

Customer: “[Postcode], and number ten.”

Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that for me?”

Customer: “If you were listening to me you would have heard me say [postcode] and number ten.”

Me: “That’s great. Thank you for that. Unfortunately, I wasn’t asking for you house number; I was asking for the month you were born.”

Customer: *long pause* “June.”

(I really wanted to say to him, “If you were listening to me, then you would have known I didn’t ask for that,” but at the moment I value my job. Safe to say he listened to the rest of the call.)

It Literally Pays To Be Nice

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I’m working customer service for a well-known bank when a young woman in her late teens or early twenties approaches my desk.)

Customer: “I’d like to see about getting overdraft fees removed from my account, please.”

(These types of transactions rarely go well. The customer is almost always angry and agitated, and I’ve been instructed to not write off legitimate overdraft charges unless there’s a really good reason. I’m allowed to use discretion, but if I do it more than once in a great while, I get in trouble. I steel myself for a tense interaction with this customer.)

Me: “Let me see here. It looks as if these overdraft charges are valid. You overdrew your account by [amount #1] on Thursday morning, and then made four more purchases over the next few days totaling [amount #2]. The $175 in overdraft fees you incurred are valid, and I can’t delete them. I could enroll you in overdraft protection though, so you won’t need to worry about this scenario again.”

Customer: “I’d like that, please. To be honest, I know this is my fault. I should have been more careful with my money, and I wasn’t keeping track of what was in my account. The blame is on me. I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to try to get these charges removed. Can you tell me how to enroll in overdraft protection?”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Wow. You’re the first customer in years to take full responsibility for an overdraft charge. I’ll take care of this for you, and delete the charges. Thanks for being so nice!”

Minimum Balance For Maximum Charge

, , , , | Working | September 23, 2017

I used to work at a bank as a teller, then in their main offices. During this time I did not do my personal banking with them. While I was working there, they started an initiative to get all the employees to move their accounts from their old banks to them. As a reward, they would “be able to expedite the processing of paychecks,” so we would get paid a whopping one day earlier.

The only problem was, this same bank severely underpaid its staff and, because this particular bank was made for higher-end customers, the employees would never be able to meet the minimum-balance requirements. Sadly, not every employee saw through this obvious trap, and they were hit with a lot of minimum balance charges.

This was only one of many ways in which this particular business tried to screw over its own employees.

Remember, if you work for a larger company, always take what they tell you with a grain of salt. Their priority is money, nothing else.

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