New-Fangled Since The 1970s

, , , , , , | Right | July 9, 2018

(I take phone calls for members about their credit and debit cards for a small bank. The year is 2016.)

Me: “How can I help you on your card today?”

Caller: “I need to dispute an item.”

(After I get all their details, I note the caller is in their early 50s.)

Me: “Okay, I just need to mail or fax the document to you to sign and return to us.”

Caller: “I don’t understand those newfangled gadgets; it’s because of those I’m having such a hard time doing business nowadays. Why can’t we just stick with mailing stuff? Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but to understand you correctly, you’re unable to get a fax?”

Caller: “Did you not hear me correctly? I do not understand those newfangled gadgets! Just mail me the documents!”

Me: “I will be happy to, sir.”

(I was very happy that I didn’t ask if he wanted the form emailed to him.)

Some Things Never Change

, , , | Right | June 30, 2018

(I work at a bank frequented by businesses. We ask if they can call in change orders for us to have them ready when they get there, but sometimes new people do the deposit and aren’t aware.)

Customer: *holding a handful of cash and a piece of paper with a change order on it* “I need a change order.”

Me: “Okay, sure.”

Customer: *pauses a moment* “Okay, I need $6 in pennies.” *hands me six dollars*

(I wait for her to continue; her list is long.)

Customer: “We’re going to do this one at a time.”

Me: *dies a little inside* “Oh, okay.”

(I then walk back and forth to where my rolls of coin are kept. Finally, at the end…)

Me: “And, for future reference, we do prefer if you call in your change orders so we can have them ready for you.”

Customer: “Oh, really? For this little amount?”

Me: “Yes.”

(She then rolled her eyes and left. Sorry we want to be ready for you when you get here, cranky lady.)

Not Taking Account Of Your Account Of Events

, , , , , | Working | June 14, 2018

(This occurs about a month after my father passes away. I have been working to get various accounts closed. The one I’m having issue with is his phone carrier. Since I am not authorized to access his account, I have no luck until a monthly payment comes due. Before now, the workers wouldn’t discuss anything with me, understandably, for legal reasons. However, unknown to me, his bank account — which my name was on and has since closed — is set up to autopay to his cell phone. Therefore, I am finally able to get them cooperate with me a bit.)

Worker: “Ma’am, the payment for Mr. [Father] is due and it is [amount].”

Me: “Ma’am, I need you to listen very carefully. [Father] is dead. He died three weeks ago. I’ve been trying to close his account with you guys. I am not paying for a dead man’s account. His name is [Father]. His number was [number]. I even have his SSN and am more than willing to fax you a copy of his death certificate I am currently holding.”

(Line is silent for a few minutes.)

Worker: “Okay. Just a moment, ma’am.”

(Many more minutes go by.)

Worker: “Do you have [other service] with us?”

Me: “Ma’am, I am trying to close my deceased father’s account. To the best of my knowledge ,all he had was your phone service. Please cancel his service.”

(More minutes go by. I can hear her typing something. At one point I hear her talking and laughing with what I assume is a coworker. I am beyond frustrated by this whole ordeal, but continue to silently wait and try to be polite.)

Worker: “Okay, ma’am, it looks like I can send it back to his bank account.”

Me: “Ma’am, his bank account is closed. That is why you weren’t paid.”

Worker: *another long pause* “Looks like I can only send it back to the bank; you’ll have to talk with them.”

Me: *sighs* “All right, thank you. Is his account closed, though?”

Worker: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(I’m not sure what she’s talking about, so I go back to the bank and wait to speak to a banker so that I can clear this entire mess. I begin to explain the situation to him when there’s a knock on the glass. A see a young woman smiling and happily waving at him.)

Banker: “Hey, [Young Woman]!” *gets up and goes to hug and speak with her*

(I just sit there, floored by this display, but southern politeness kicks in, so instead of yelling at them I glare as hard as possible.)

Banker: *finishes talking to her then turns to see my glare* “I… s-sorry. Sh-she used to work here. She’s going to college. Uh—” *clears his throat*

Me: “How nice.” *explains the situation finally*

Banker: *types on his computer and cross-checks the account number, my ID, and my father’s death certificate a few times* “Okay, looks like everything is cleared up.”

Me: “I shouldn’t have any more issues? No more auto-payments on there?”

Banker: “Nope!” *wide smile* “And please, take this with you, should you ever want to open your own account with us.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(I tossed the pamphlets in plain view into a nearby trash-can.)

Gotta Give Them Credit For Trying, Part 2

, , , , , , | | Legal | June 10, 2018

(We have a woman spend a lot of money with us on a credit card. A couple of weeks later we get a notice from the bank disputing the charges. I am very panicked as it’s a lot of money and even though I am not the one who served her, I was the manager on duty and did help with the packing of her purchases, so I feel responsible. Amidst the panic, I am formulating how I would pay back the lost money to the company when the manager calls me into the office. She’s been going through camera footage.)

Manager: “I can see that you’re helping wrap. Didn’t you notice anything about the customer? Did the card look fake or anything?”

Me: “No, I was really only wrapping between my own customers”

Manager: “You can see she knows exactly where the cameras are; she keeps her face covered or turned away. Here is the footage where the signature on the card is being checked so I know that was done right. But we have no idea how to get her because she gave a fake name. All I’ve got is a few shots of her on the camera at the counter.”

Me: *finally thinking straight* “Wait a minute. Is the camera outside the door real?”

(We used to have mostly fake cameras but a lot were replaced by real ones.)

Manager: “Yes, I’ve seen where she walks in the store on it.”

Me: “Go to [time] on it.”

Manager: “Okay, done it. What am I looking for?” *right then a car pulls up in full view of the camera*

Me: “That’s her car. I just remembered telling her to bring her car to the front of the store to make it easy.”

(We watched as she got out of the car, her full registration number clearly shown. Last I heard the woman is now doing five years, because she had been caught doing the same thing before. She had also done the same thing at our other branches. The card was actually real. She used a misspelling of her name to apply for it, so it was the bank’s fault because they didn’t check it against her ID properly.)

Related:
Gotta Give Them Credit For Trying

A Little Dishonesty To Earn An Honest Buck

, , , , | | Right | May 27, 2018

(I work at a pretty popular bank in a small city. We’re really focused on good customer interactions, so I greet each and every customer with a smile. On this particular day a father and his three sons walk in and come up to my window.)

Me: “Hi! My name is [My Name]; how can I help you today?”

Man: “Hi! My son, [Son], found this 100-dollar bill on the ground! And I want you to look up who it belongs to.”

Me: “What?”

Man: “You know, the codes on the bills… I want to make sure it wasn’t stolen money or anything like that. Can’t have my kids handling dishonest money! So, yeah, just track it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not able to track a bill. There is no way to find out where it was or who it belonged to.”

Man: “Oh, I see. So, it doesn’t belong to anyone else?”

Me: “Well, it…” *I think hard about whether or not I want to continue to deal with him* “No, it didn’t! It’s all yours!”

Man: “Great! See, [Son]? You have $100 now!”

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