A Fee(ble) Excuse

| Yankton, SD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a bank call center. More often than not, I get calls about people who want to appeal late fees on their credit cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to appeal my late fee on my credit statement.”

Me: “Sure thing. What is the reason you are appealing your late fee?”

Customer: “I forgot to pay my bill.”


Getting Breaking Bad Credit

, | Greenville, SC, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I work at a banking call center and we often get calls from people asking why their card isn’t working. In this case, our fraud system has blocked a card for suspicious use and the customer has called to find out what is going on.)

Customer: “Why did my card get blocked at [National Pharmacy Chain]?”

Me: “Well, you had a $850 purchase there one day and $1,500 the next. High dollar pharmacy purchases have a high risk of being flagged by our fraud system and causing your card to get blocked.”

Customer: “Why is that?”

Me: “One of the main reasons is because there are a lot of drugs that you can buy at a pharmacy that, when bought in enough quantity and mixed in combination with certain others or certain chemicals, can be used for illegal purposes. For example, pseudoephedrine is a key ingredient in making methamphetamines.”

Customer: “Is making meth illegal?”

Me: “Yes, sir…”


Who Watches The Watch Orders?

| Manila, Philippines | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(We work in the disputes department for one of the biggest credit card companies in the States. And every now and then we get to interact with customers who are clueless about their dispute.)

Colleague: “Thank you for calling [Bank].”

Customer: “I’m disputing this charge… This company sent me the wrong watch model!”

Colleague: “I’m sorry to hear that you’ve received the wrong type of watch, ma’am. Have you tried to contact the merchant to have the watch replaced with the right model?”

Customer: “No! Can you dispute this or not?”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we need to make sure first that the merchant had exhausted all the options they have to assist you before we can dispute this charge, as once we do, the merchant can easily refute your claim stating you never contacted them to get assistance. Anyway, may I know what model of watch you’re supposed to receive?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW!”


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am one of the head tellers in a big multi-state bank, and I hear loud voices in the drive-through where one of our newest tellers is working. I go back there and he hands me a personal check and debit card for the woman in the first lane, who has refused to give him her driver’s license. I ask him to pull the account and since the check is only $300, I allow him to check signatures in lieu of the ID, because it is her check. The customer is yelling at him and is glaring at me through the window, so I go over to do some customer service.)

Me: “Hi, I’m the head teller here. Thank you for your patienc—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “If he won’t give me my money I will just take that check back.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, here at [Bank] we verify IDs to make sure that we are—”

Customer: *again interrupts me, more angry* “I have NEVER been asked for my ID. I go to [Other Branch] all the time.”

Me: “Ah, see, if they know you by name at that branch that is likely why they are willing to bend the rules for you.”

Customer: “What? Is that [Bank] policy?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, in the drive-up any amounts over $100 need two IDs.”


Me: “[Teller] is cashing it out right now. He was able to verify the signatures on it, but you know, if something happened, if someone had – god forbid – taken your purse and had your checks and ID—”


(I stare at her flabbergasted and frankly I have no idea what to respond. At that moment the other teller presents me with the funds and she drives off immediately, glaring at both of us the entire time. I look at my new teller and he shrugs.)

Me: “So, if someone takes her purse, we are supposed to give them her money as well?”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 48
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47


Saying Freeze And Thank You

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer walks up to my window.)

Me: “Hello! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, one of your customers just gave me this check, and I want to be sure it will clear before I deposit it in my bank.”

(This is a fairly common request. We are allowed to either confirm or deny that a check will “clear” without giving out any other information about the check-writer’s account.)

Me: “Sure, I can help you with that.”

(I pull up the account and discover that it will clear easily.)

Me: “Yes, sir, it will clear.”

Customer: “Great. Now, I want you to put a freeze on the funds so it will still clear tomorrow. I’m not from here, so I won’t get to my bank until then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Since you’re not an owner of the account, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, I just don’t understand.”

Me: “Sir, is your name on the account?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I can’t take any direction from you on what to do with it.”

Customer: “I’m not asking to take money out of their account. I am asking you to put a freeze on the funds so that they will still be there tomorrow. How hard is that?”

Me: “So, just to get this straight, you would like me to put a freeze on funds on an account that your name is not on, and you have no ownership claims on whatsoever?”

Customer: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

Me: “I still can’t do that.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Because your name is not on the account. I cannot do anything to this account because your name is not on it. This account is not owned by you. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “FINE!” *stomps out*

Coworker: “Did he really think that was an okay thing to do?”

Me: “I wonder about the general public sometimes…”

(Not the first time I’ve gotten a request to “freeze” funds on someone’s account, but definitely the most belligerent reaction!)

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