A New President Precedent

, , , , , | Right | August 21, 2019

(I work at a call center for a major US bank.)

Elderly Customer: “Hello. I would like to speak to the president of the bank.”

Me: *thinking she’s confused* “Do you mean the branch manager, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “NO! I meant what I said; I demand to speak to the president of the bank!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the president doesn’t take customer phone calls. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Elderly Customer: “PRESIDENT! NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, again, I apologize but the president doesn’t have time to—”

Elderly Customer: *cuts me off* “GASP! He doesn’t have time for me?!”

(I could hear her sobbing as she hung up the phone.)

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Unfiltered Story #160184

, | Unfiltered | August 21, 2019

(I am filling in at a branch in another city for the day. One of the newer employees has just picked up the phone.)

Employee #1: [Bank name], this is [employee’s name], how can I help you?

(Silence as the customer responds)

Employee #1: And do you have the account holder with you?

(Silence as the customer responds)

Employee #1: I’m sorry, I can’t give you that information unless I get permission from the account holder.

(Long silence)

Employee #1: I just need to check with one of my coworkers. Please hold. *places the call on hold, turns around* Can I confirm that someone has an account here to a business?

Me: Only if the account holder is present at the business.

Employee #1: That’s what I thought. They’re not, but this lady is yelling at me that it’s perfectly legal for me to give her that information, even if the account holder isn’t there.

Me: Geez. No, it’s not. Do you want me to talk to her?

Employee #1: Yes, please! *hands the phone over, I take it off hold*

Me: [Bank name], this is [My Name], how can I help you?

Business rep: Oh, good. My name is [name], and I work for [business]. I’m looking to confirm that [Customer Name] has an account at your bank.

Me: Do you have [Customer Name] there with you?

Business rep: Not at this time.

Me: I’m sorry, we cannot provide that information without the customer present. It would be a violation of [Bank Name’s] privacy rules.

Business rep: I completely understand. Thank you for your time. Have a good day! *hangs up*

Employee #1: How did you do that?!

Me: Do I sound scary or something? Because that’s the only explanation I can think of.

I Will Now Know You As An A**hole

, , , , | Right | August 20, 2019

(I’m working at a bank. A customer that I’ve never seen before is in the drive-thru. She’s in the passenger seat with a younger woman driving.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need $800 out of my account.”

Me: “Sure thing! Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “DANG NEW PEOPLE!”

Me: “I’m not new, actually—”

Customer: “I come in here all the time! Do you know who I am?!”

(I’ve heard variations of this several times today, and I’m tired of it. However, I do my best to keep my voice calm and even.)

Me: “Do you know who I am? What’s my name?”

(The customer’s jaw drops and she gapes at me.)

Me: “See? You don’t know me and I don’t know you. ID, please.”

Customer: “Well, I NEVER!”

(She throws her ID across the driver’s seat into the drawer, still muttering to herself. The driver is trying to hide a smile.)

Me: “Now, how would you like that back?”

Driver: “However you want to give it back. We’re not picky. RIGHT?” *throws her passenger a look*

Customer: *still muttering*

Driver: “Just give her whatever you want. I don’t care. Thank you!”

(I didn’t get in trouble.)

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He’s Better Off Talking To The Machines

, , , | Right | August 16, 2019

(I work for a large bank in the call center. I basically answer customers’ questions about their accounts. We have an automated system to direct customers to the right department since we have so many different areas.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help today?”

Customer: “Your computer system is so stupid. It really needs to learn English. I told it to repeat itself and it had no idea what I was saying. I kept saying, ‘Repeat, repeat.’ Do you know what repeat means?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well, so should your computer lady. I speak English and it should understand me since this is America, and it shouldn’t bring me to you. I just wanted it to repeat.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Is there something I could help you with today?”

Customer: “All I want is my last five transactions. There was a $500 and a $30 transaction. What came next?”

Me: “Would you like both your pending and posted transa—”

Customer: “Just give them to me. Just do what I ask.”

Me: “Okay, I apologize, just wanted—”

Customer: “Just tell me.”

Me: “Okay, there was a $35, $18.53, $20.01—”

Customer: “What about the $500 and $30?”

Me: “Well, sir, since you told me about those, I figure you didn’t need me to tell them to you.”

Customer: “Thanks for your no help.” *hangs up*

Me: *facepalm*

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Retail Is Mind Numbing

, , , , , , | Working | August 10, 2019

(I’m at the bank to make a deposit. While I’m filling out the deposit slip, I overhear a conversation between two tellers. Apparently, [Teller #1] is on the phone with a customer who is filling out a direct deposit form and needs their account number.)

Teller #1: “Am I allowed to give them that over the phone?”

Teller #2: “Technically, yes, you are, if they prove their identity, but they discourage us from doing it because it’s a security issue. If you feel comfortable doing it, you can, but I wouldn’t.”

Teller #1: “So, we can’t do it?”

Teller #2: “No, you can, if you feel comfortable doing it. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it, so I wouldn’t.”

Teller #1: “So… we can’t do it?”

Teller #2: “No, we can, if you feel comfortable doing it. I personally wouldn’t.”

Teller #1: “So, we can’t do it?”

Teller #2: “No, you can, if you feel comfortable doing it…”

(They repeated this exchange over and over again until I took my deposit up to [Teller #2]. By that point, it took all my willpower not to scream, “The answer is NO!” I made no comment, but inside, I was marveling at how businesses insist on having official policies for the convenience of the customer that they then “discourage” employees from following for security. I felt sorry for them both. Having worked in retail years ago, I’m well familiar with the “never give the customer a straight no” rule, but I’ve never seen someone have that drilled into them so badly that they can’t give a coworker a straight answer, either.)

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