(It is the last call of the night. The customer is in California.)
Customer: “You sound like you are from the Bay Area.”
Me: “That is funny, seeing I am on the other side of the country in Florida.”
Customer: “Of course, you sound like you are from there.”
Me: “From Florida?”
Me: “I don’t sound Spanish or country or like a snow bird.”
Customer: “No, but you sound middle-class.”
Customer: “But it is my birthday; follow me on instagram.”
(I work at a bank. My caller does not understand why the $2500 cheque she deposited was returned, and now she owes the bank.)
Me: “Well, ma’am, the cheque was fraudulent, and there was nowhere to receive the funds so we had to withdraw the money from your account.”
Customer: “But why do I have to pay back if the cheque was a fake cheque?”
Me: “…because you spent all the money.”
Customer: “Yeah, but I did not know it was a fraudulent cheque.”
(This is BS, because she withdrew $2000 as soon as she deposited and then another $500 the next day.)
Me: “Yes, but you still spent the money, so you should go back to the person that gave you the cheque and ask him to give you a new one. Then you can simply deposit it again and you will be fine.”
Customer: “Yeah, well, I don’t know where to find him since he left the country, but I don’t think I should be paying this money back because it was not my fault.”
Me: “Ma’am… did you spend the money or did someone else?”
Customer: “I spent it.”
Me: “Then you have to pay it back.”
Customer: “F*** you.” *hangs up*
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53
(I work at a call center for a bank that finances credit cards for several companies: anything from jewelry to gasoline. We handle both consumer and business cards. The craziest call I ever get is from a business account for office supplies.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer] and I am authorized by [Accounts Payable] to pay $140.”
(I verify them as authorized on the account. The balance is over $800.)
Me: “I can certainly run that payment for you, but that amount will not postpone further collections activity. The balance is [amount #1] and is five months past due. We need a payment of [amount #2] to prevent the account going to third party collections.”
Customer: “I don’t think you understand; I will only pay you $140. If I make this payment, you have to forgive the rest of the debt. I WILL NOT pay you any more, and you WILL NOT charge me any more late fees.”
Me: “I can’t do that. This is a balance that has been accrued on this credit card. It needs to be paid in full or at least paid on time to prevent further fees.”
(Customer ranted on and on about how it wasn’t fair of us to charge him and that he would speak with accounts payable. Then he hung up.)
Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 2
Got To Give Him Credit For Trying
Customer: “Can I replace my debit card?”
Me: “Did you lose yours?”
Customer: “No, I left it home.”
Me: “Well, why don’t you go home and get it?”
Customer: “I want to get some pizza at [Pizza Place] next door and I don’t want to go home.”
(I pull up the customer’s information on the computer and notice he lives four blocks away but decides not to comment further.)
Me: “You could just do a cash withdrawal and pay for the pizza with cash.”
Customer: “I don’t want to look up my account number.”
Me: “I can do that for you right now.”
Customer: “No, just replace the debit card.”
(How lazy can some people be?)
(I’m working the drive-thru after everyone but the manager has left. A man comes through with a check from the bank next door and asks to have it cashed.)
Me: No problem! Just let me find you in our system.
(I look up his name, but can’t find it anywhere. Next, I look up the name of the person who wrote the check.)
Me: Sir, I can’t find you or the person who wrote the check in our system. Do you have an account number?
Man: Why do you need my account number? I’ve had an account with you guys for years! I should be in there!
Me: I could be typing something wrong. Let me try again.
(I go through the same process, and still find nothing.)
Me: I really can’t seem to find you in here, and this check is for the other bank.
Man: The check is for this bank! Let me speak to your manager!
(I catch my manager as he’s leaving, and watch as he goes out the door and gestures for the man to pull forward. After a few moments, the man speeds off as fast as he can, and my manager comes back in laughing.)
Manager: He thought he actually was at (bank next door)!
(Predictably, the man never came back to apologize for his behavior.)