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In For A Penny…

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Money, Popular

(I am working as a bank teller at a bank branch near our city’s mall, so a lot of my customers are mall employees either making deposits, getting change for their stores, or cashing their paychecks. I am waiting on a newer employee from of the men’s clothing stores, and since I didn’t know his name yet I had been referring to him (in my head) as Tie Guy.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Tie Guy: “I just need to get my paycheck cashed, please.”

Me: “No problem, it’ll be just a minute.” *I process his check through the computer* “Would you like it back any certain way?” *I always ask because some customers are extremely picky about their money*

Tie Guy: *jokingly* “American currency is fine.”

(I reach under my counter and pull out a $10 box of rolled pennies, which is pretty heavy and makes a loud thud when it hits the countertop.)

Me: *also jokingly* “I hope you brought a suitcase then. It’s going to take a lot of boxes.”

(Tie Guy just stares at the box, and then me for a few seconds, then starts laughing.)

Tie Guy: “Maybe I should be more specific next time?”

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 13

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I am a bank teller, and currently about six months pregnant.)

Customer: “When are you due?”

Me: “First week of November.”

Customer: “Wow, you’ve got a ways to go! Just one baby in there?”

Me: “Yes, just one.”

Customer: “My coworker is due in four days, and you’re a lot bigger than her. She’s always complaining, but she’s so much smaller than you! I’m going to tell her about the poor girl at the bank!”

Me: *still smiling* “Have a nice day, ma’am!”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 12
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 11
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 10

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A Fee(ble) Excuse

| Yankton, SD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a bank call center. More often than not, I get calls about people who want to appeal late fees on their credit cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to appeal my late fee on my credit statement.”

Me: “Sure thing. What is the reason you are appealing your late fee?”

Customer: “I forgot to pay my bill.”

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Getting Breaking Bad Credit

, | Greenville, SC, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I work at a banking call center and we often get calls from people asking why their card isn’t working. In this case, our fraud system has blocked a card for suspicious use and the customer has called to find out what is going on.)

Customer: “Why did my card get blocked at [National Pharmacy Chain]?”

Me: “Well, you had a $850 purchase there one day and $1,500 the next. High dollar pharmacy purchases have a high risk of being flagged by our fraud system and causing your card to get blocked.”

Customer: “Why is that?”

Me: “One of the main reasons is because there are a lot of drugs that you can buy at a pharmacy that, when bought in enough quantity and mixed in combination with certain others or certain chemicals, can be used for illegal purposes. For example, pseudoephedrine is a key ingredient in making methamphetamines.”

Customer: “Is making meth illegal?”

Me: “Yes, sir…”

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Who Watches The Watch Orders?

| Manila, Philippines | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(We work in the disputes department for one of the biggest credit card companies in the States. And every now and then we get to interact with customers who are clueless about their dispute.)

Colleague: “Thank you for calling [Bank].”

Customer: “I’m disputing this charge… This company sent me the wrong watch model!”

Colleague: “I’m sorry to hear that you’ve received the wrong type of watch, ma’am. Have you tried to contact the merchant to have the watch replaced with the right model?”

Customer: “No! Can you dispute this or not?”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we need to make sure first that the merchant had exhausted all the options they have to assist you before we can dispute this charge, as once we do, the merchant can easily refute your claim stating you never contacted them to get assistance. Anyway, may I know what model of watch you’re supposed to receive?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW!”

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