I work for a well-known national bank in the fraud protection department. One day, I receive a call from a very angry customer. After my opening script and verification process:

Me: “…so, what seems to be the problem today, ma’am?”

Customer: “YOU HAVE BLOCKED MY CARDS! YOU HAVE BLOCKED THEM BECAUSE YOU THINK I’M TOO F****** POOR TO GO ON A VACATION! F*** YOU! F*** YOU! OPEN THEM RIGHT NOW!”

I begin my “Customer Complaint” logging process and go through the charges on her card to see what might have triggered the block. She is screaming the entire time.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I think I see the issue here. You’re from New York, correct? And now you’re currently in Vegas. There’s not a notice of travel placed for this specific card, so it was blocked as standard procedure. If you’ll verify a couple of charges with me, we can get this opened again.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to ask you for permission to go on a vacation! Can I buy some gum with my card?! Is that okay with you?! What about when my rent comes up? Am I allowed to pay my rent so I won’t be homeless?!”

I kind of ignore this rant and ask her about a couple of charges to the card, which she verifies as having been her in the same manner that she’s been screaming at me.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, please try your card one more time for me and let’s make sure it’s opened.”

She manages to withdraw $500 at a third-party ATM.

Me: “Excellent! Now, if you’d like to place a notice of travel, this will prevent the system from flagging any future standard transactions as potential fraud. It will expire on the date you select, so there will be no interruption of service when you return home.”

Customer: “F*** you! You don’t need to know s*** about what I’m doing! This is an invasion of my privacy, and I’m going to change banks as soon as I’m home! You just lost a customer!”

She hangs up on me. I message my supervisor.

Me: “The customer on this account is traveling from New York state to Vegas and is refusing to place a travel flag on the account. What do I do?”

Supervisor: “Notate that customer refuses to place a flag in the system or allow one to be placed and hope you’re not the next person on the phone with her.”

Because my dad caught fraudulent charges on my account, I needed to call my bank to investigate and dispute the charges. They were closed when we caught it, so I called them first thing since waking up at 10:30 am.

Obviously, to get into my account and make sure it was me, I had to answer security questions.

Bank Teller: “All right, first question: what is the make and model of your first car?”

Me: “It’s a red [Year, Make, Model].”

Bank Teller: “All right, perfect, and now, what color was your first car?”

Me: “Um, red.”

Bank Teller: “Could you be more specific?”

Me: *Laughing slightly* “Well, now I don’t know if I answered this question ‘red’ or ‘maroon’.”

Bank Teller: *Also laughing a bit* “Well, since you’re on the right track, I’ll take it. Would you like me to tell you what you put?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

Bank Teller: “You put ‘oxidized red’.”

Me: *Now laughing loudly* “Oh, my God!”

Bank Teller: “Would you like me to change your answer to that question?”

Me: “I don’t think anyone is going to guess ‘oxidized red’, so I’ll keep that answer.”

This happened back around 2000. I was working as a swing shift server admin for a large bank. Our location was one of three data centers.

Most nights were extremely busy. This night was slow, so I took the opportunity to look for something to do. I decided to check out the Day Shift Desktop ticket queue. There was a ticket that had been open for over a year.

Ticket: “User’s monitor image randomly shakes. Team cannot duplicate problem. Monitor has been replaced several times.”

Challenge accepted. There were almost no employees there at night, so I went for a walk. I found the user’s cubicle and the monitor looked fine. She had a very large CRT. This wasn’t normal. Most had LCDs at this point. I took a look at her coworkers’ cubicles and realized the problem almost immediately.

The user on the other side of the cube wall — who had an LCD Monitor — had an electric desk fan sitting six inches from the back of the large CRT with only the cloth cube wall between them. I turned the fan on and the monitor wigged out. I left the owner of the fan a note asking her to relocate it.

I closed the ticket. The following day, I was told that the day techs were given a hard time all day over how simple it was to solve the “Unsolvable Trouble Ticket”.

I am the OP from this story. I have just put in my notice. I’m back at that second branch, filling in again. We are super busy. I’m processing a drop-off deposit when our super creepy customer from the original story enters.

Me: “Oh, no.”

[Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] look up and grimace.

Coworker #1: “Not him again!”

Coworker #2: “One of us will take him. Don’t worry, [My Name].”

He goes to the back of the line, behind a female customer about my age. I focus my attention on the drop-off deposit.

Creepy Customer: “[My Name]!”

I keep my head down.

Coworker #2: “I’ll be with you in just a moment, sir.”

Creepy Customer: “Nope, I’ll wait for [My Name].”

I finish up. The next customer is the female customer. She steps up to my window with a knowing look.

Me: “What can I get you?”

Female Customer: “Deposit, please.”

She hands over her ID and a check. I type as slowly as I can. I’m very aware that our creepy customer is looking me up and down.

Coworker #1: “Sir, I can take you right over here!”

Creepy Customer: “No, I’ll wait.”

I hand the female customer her receipt.

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Female Customer: “While you’re in my account, can you run through my last few transactions with me?”

Me: “Absolutely.”

My customer turns around and grins at the creepy customer.

Female Customer: “I’m gonna be a while. You’ll want to go to another teller.”

He shuffles over to [Coworker #1], grumbling.

Female Customer: “You know what? I suddenly don’t need my transaction history. You have a nice day. Good luck!”

She exits. A business customer steps up to my window. He’s a regular at my home branch and this branch.

Regular: “Hey, [My Name]. Got a lot for you today. Sorry about that.”

He places several bank bags on the counter. I see our creepy customer finish up and walk in my direction.

Me: “[Regular], no need to apologize. Happy to do it.”

I start counting. The creepy customer stands at the end of the teller line, which is right near the door, and stares at me.

Creepy Customer: “[My Name]!”

I keep counting. My regular looks at the creepy customer and raises an eyebrow.

Regular: “Take your time. I’m in no rush.”

Me: “I appreciate that.”

Creepy Customer: “[My Name]!”

I finish counting and slowly start entering the checks into the computer.

Creepy Customer: “Hey! Why won’t you talk to me?”

I slam my cash drawer in irritation. I let the annoyance show in my tone.

Me: “I am working! Do you have a deposit or withdrawal?”

Creepy Customer: “Oh, I’m done with all that for today.”

Me: “Then go home!“

He stared at me like I’d grown a second head, as I don’t usually bark at customers like that. At that moment, another customer entered and swung the door open so wide that it nearly hit the creepy customer. He sputtered and stomped out the door. I worked out my notice with no further sightings.

Related:
This Act Was The Tip Of The Iceberg

I work at a bank inside of a grocery store. The grocery store is very busy, and from what I can see, every checkout has a decent line. My coworker is talking to a customer who sounds like they’re getting more irate by the second. After the customer storms off, my coworker takes a breather.

Me: “What was that all about?”

Coworker: “They were very upset that they couldn’t buy their toilet paper and Doritos from my teller window.”

Me: “Did she not realize we’re a bank?”

Coworker: “Oh, she did. But she thought she could buy her stuff quicker because we should be able to charge her direct from her account.”

Me: “We’re going to get a complaint about this, aren’t we?”

Coworker: *On their keyboard* “Already typing up the incident report…”