Doesn’t Take Account Of The Line

| RI, USA | Bad Behavior

(I have just got home from college out of state. I have opened an account with a new bank while at college, but want to move my money into an account in my home state with the same bank.)

Teller: “Okay, so you want to open an account here and transfer your savings. Would you please have a seat in our waiting area? Someone will be right with you.”

(I go to sit down. I’m the only one there, so I figure I’m next. Five minutes later, a filthy older man comes in and sits down in a chair nearby, reeking of beer and muttering to himself.)

Man: “D*** b**** better keep her god-d*** mouth shut… Can’t take it… Can’t… F***** b****… Doesn’t respect me… No respect… Never get respect. He better shut his f***** mouth… I’ll kill him… Got enough bullets… I’ll get him… I’ll get that b****… Talkin’ about me… Teach her to keep her d*** mouth shut…”

(He continues to mutter to himself as I remain as still and quiet as I can. An employee walks out to smile at me, having seen me sit down first. The man gets up and instantly walks to her.)

Man: “I need help with my account… It’s busted…”

Employee #1: “Oh… um, okay… Right this way…” *looks to me and mouths ‘sorry!’ as they go into her cubicle*

(Five minutes later…)

Employee #2: “Hey, I’m so sorry about that… He comes in every week and just… Yeah.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. If he honestly believed that he was first in line, I was NOT going to tell him otherwise.”

Employee: *nods, looking scared*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

, | SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

Customer: “I have your mobile app… I know I can take a picture of a check and make a deposit that way. But I want to know how to make a mobile withdrawal…”

Me: “You want to know if you can make a mobile withdrawal?”

Customer: “Yes. I can’t figure out any way to do that.”

Me: “Well, sir, there is no way to do that because you would have to go to an ATM or into a branch to get actual cash.”

Customer: “But I’m not at an ATM and your branch is closed. I want to deposit this check through the app and get cash right now.”

Me: “Well sir, frankly, technology hasn’t gotten to the point where mobile phones can print – and even at that, printing money, unless done by the government, is illegal.”

Customer: “So I can’t make a mobile withdrawal?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “That’s stupid.” *click*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

Antisocial About The Social

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to deposit these checks.”

(I take the checks and deposit slip, but the account number isn’t coming up, and her name isn’t, either.)

Me: “I’m having trouble finding you in our system. Can you give me your social, and I can look for you that way?”

Customer: “This always happens with you! Why does this happen with only you?! I don’t know how you got this job. My social is [number].”

Me: “I found you, ma’am, but it looks like your name is hyphenated in our system, which you did not indicate on the deposit slip, and the account number you provided is incorrect. I suppose that’s why it never works when you come to me. All of the information you gave me was incorrect.”

(The customer left red-faced. Since then, she’s gone to great lengths to be polite to me.)

I’ve Got A Good Fee-ling About This

| Worcester, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I am the treasurer of a small church. I notice that we are paying a fee for every check we write. I thought maybe the bank might waive the fee for a church, so I call.)

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’m with [Church]. I was wondering if the bank would waive the fee we are paying on the checks we write, being a church and all?”

Branch Manager: “Gee, I don’t know. I’ve never been asked this before. Let me call down to the main office and see what they say.”

(30 minutes later, my phone rings. It’s the branch manager, but he thinks he is calling his main office.)

Branch Manager: “Hi, this is [Branch Manager] at the Edgewood office. I just got a call from a customer asking if we ever waive the fee for checks because they are a church?”

Me: *thinking fast* “Well, policy is that they must pay, but if they ask, we waive it.”

Branch Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

(10 minutes later, the phone rings again. This time the branch manager is actually calling me.)

Branch Manager: “Hi, this is [Branch Manager]. I talked with the main office and they said we could waive the fee. I’ll adjust your next statement.”

Me: “That’s great, thank you.”

(If she questioned what had just happened, she was never going to call the main office or the customer about it.)

A Small Charge To Cure The Hiccups

| Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I am a teller at a bank, and I have a nasty hiccup I cannot get rid of. A customer approaches me, having questions about his savings account. He also has a 50 Euro bill in his hand. I answer his questions, while trying to suppress my hiccup. When I hand him his documents he had given me before, he takes them, turns away, then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Where are my €50 notes?”

Me: “You did not hand it to me.”

Customer: “I did give it to you; it was in my savings book.”

(I panic, because our branch is pretty busy, and sometimes I forget things. I look around for the €50, even underneath the service station, but nothing. We argue about the money for a bit, and then he smiles.)

Customer: “Sorry, I have the money. I just needed to scare you a bit to help you get rid of that hiccup.”

(I was staring at him while he proceeded to the cashier to put the money onto his savings account. I was shocked, but he was right: my hiccups were gone!)