In Need Of A Four-Letter Word

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Money

Customer: “I forgot my account number; can you look it up?”

Me: “Sure. Just tell me how to spell your last name.”

Customer: *gives me a five-letter name*

Me: “I’m sorry; it’s not working. Are you sure it’s spelled [spells out loud]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “I’m sorry; still nothing’s coming up. Are you certain you have an account here?”

Customer: “Yes, I just made a deposit yesterday!”

Me: “I’m sure it’s just something simple; perhaps I’ve spelled your name wrong. Can I see your ID?”

(The customer hands me their ID, at which point I see that the last name is nine letters long.)

Me: “You’ve only been giving me the first five letters of your last name.”

Customer: “What, you need my whole name?”

Blood Money

| NY, USA | Health & Body, Money

(A customer walks up to my teller window, and throws two rolls of pennies down. They are covered in wet blood. I try not to look disgusted.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; I can’t accept that.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s good American money.”

Me: “I’m sure it is, but it’s covered in blood; I’m not going to touch that.”

Customer: “It’s fine; it’s just my blood.”

Me: “Excuse me while I get my manager.”

(I happily escape to the back to try to settle my stomach while the manager talks to the man.)

Manager: “Sir, we can’t accept these pennies like this.”

Customer: “It’s perfectly good American money!”

Manager: “Yes, but we can’t take it like this. If you like, I can give you new wrappers. You can re-roll the pennies, and then we can deposit them for you.”

Customer: “F*** this country! My money isn’t good in a bank; it isn’t good anywhere!” *storms out*

How To Keep Your Days From Drag(ging)-On

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m working at my teller window when a client with a bandaged hand comes up with a deposit.)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to [bank]. I see that you hurt your hand; were you fighting with a dragon?”

Client: “Yes, and it won.”

Me: “Was it a big dragon?”

Client: “No, it was a little one. But he didn’t play fair. He used fire!”

Me: “Oh, no! Well, better luck to you next time. Here’s your receipt. Have a wonderful day!”

Client: “You too! Thanks!” *walks out the door*

(My boss, who has been standing behind me the whole time, finally speaks up.)

Boss: “That was not normal…”