Classic Banking Withdrawal Symptoms

| USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My bank offers free cookies to our customers to thank them for banking with us. Most people are polite and only take one cookie, two at the most for someone else waiting at home. One customer is notorious for going to all her local branches and taking every single cookie by dumping them in a grocery bag. Today, a coworker has just finished waiting on her while I am finishing up with a customer.)

Me: “Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, what kind of cookies do you have?”

Me: “We have peanut butter and chocolate chip. They are in a basket by the door on your way out; please help yourself!”

(My customer heads over. Unfortunately, she’s right behind the other notorious customer with the grocery bag in her hand. He watches as the other customer picks up handful after handful of cookies and shoves them into her grocery bag and leaves, the basket now empty.)

Me: *to my next customer* “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, sir. We just finished making a fresh batch. Would you like one or two?”

Next Customer: *laughing* “No, no thank you. I guess it’s a sign that I don’t really need a cookie today!”

This Customer Has A Tuna Problems

| Bellingham, WA, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m a teller at a bank. A young customer comes up to my window.)

Customer: “I’d like to withdraw $20.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like your available balance is $10. Would you like to withdraw that amount?”

Customer: “No. I want to withdraw $20.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can only withdraw the $10 you have available.”

Customer: “But I want $20!”

Me: “I can’t give you more money than you have in your account.”

Customer: “Well at least it’s not a Nazi-controlled fish world where it’s ‘hail tuna, only what the tuna says!.'”

(The customer waits for me to reply, but I have no idea if this is some pop culture reference.)

Me: “…no. At least it’s not like that…”

Customer: “I’ll take the $10.”

(The customer leaves happily, and I never find any info on her fish world. I assume it is original, as the next week she tells me I would be ‘sweeter if I was made out of silver.’)

In Need Of A Four-Letter Word

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Money

Customer: “I forgot my account number; can you look it up?”

Me: “Sure. Just tell me how to spell your last name.”

Customer: *gives me a five-letter name*

Me: “I’m sorry; it’s not working. Are you sure it’s spelled [spells out loud]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “I’m sorry; still nothing’s coming up. Are you certain you have an account here?”

Customer: “Yes, I just made a deposit yesterday!”

Me: “I’m sure it’s just something simple; perhaps I’ve spelled your name wrong. Can I see your ID?”

(The customer hands me their ID, at which point I see that the last name is nine letters long.)

Me: “You’ve only been giving me the first five letters of your last name.”

Customer: “What, you need my whole name?”